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Joined: 06/06/2019

A bit of a story to start off, then the actual post.
I'll be 26 here next week, and I'm reflecting on that pretty hard, sizing up my strengths and weaknesses, contemplating future plans, judging the success and satisfaction of past plans.

One project that has been hitting me over the head for a while, has been recovering my focus, memory, communication and emotional stability to the degree where I reconnect with my inner being enough to let go of mental "masturbation" of torrents of info, thoughts, ideas and forge something concrete that resonates with my spirit.

Iron John and the chap from The Fountainhead come to mind (not a coincidence, as you reccomended them to me a good while back, Jon).

Just curious about some of y'alls perspectives in transitioning back to a high energy lifestyle after about 6-8 years of declining productivity in response to an unstable foundation and loss of sense of self.

Reading this back, this is a jumbled mess, but it will do for now. Im happy to clarify, but please share experiences, I'm not especially interested in most of your opinions at the moment.

Dopamine's picture
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Joined: 07/18/2018
I am actually very much in a

I am actually very much in a similar boat dude. I had built up my life to the point where I was very happy with both myself and my circumstances but it all collapsed due to some glaring blindspots in my approach. Getting back on track started with an honest analysis of why I faltered, for me personally it was a combination of over-confidence and a lack of self discpline. As Tolle says, primary reality within, secondary reality without. If we are not ready for certain circumstances to form on the inside, whether it's because we don't feel deserving of them of we simply don't recognize what we have until it's gone, we will sabotage ourselves. This also works backwards much in the same way, if we truly work on ourselves and become people of value it's only a matter of time until our circumstances begin to reflect that.

The fundamental practice I've been holding myself accountable to is meditation. Letting go of emotional attachments to things I think I do not yet deserve and instead choosing, time and time again, to focus on my own development. If I observe that I want something so bad it's making me lose control of my behaviour, I do not lie to myself about it. Instead I observe that desire and work to level up my inner-fortitude so that I can experience what I want without losing control of myself. My aim is to have complete dominion over my own thoughts, emotions and behaviour. 

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Joined: 06/06/2019
That's interesting, dopamine!

That's interesting, dopamine! I know that my decision making skills get out of whack pretty quickly when I overwhelm myself with work and priorities, so I can relate to the effects of the loss of your grounded perspective.

Thank you for bringing up that tolle quote, im going to listen to that chapter ASAP!

I have gotten comfortable with a destructive habit where I hesitate, freeze up, and especially avoid sticking with habitual meditation. Part of this is a fear of missing out/ perfectionist attitude, but most of it is that I just accept how easy it is to distract my mind over taking good care of myself.
It's like im waiting around for motivation/why instead of doing it until I can just observe why... Madness!