(Lay Report) What Do a Gymnast and a National Chess Champion Have in Common? They Love Terrorists...

Had to post up this sexy psuedo lay report about the time I slayed the U.S. National 2nd Place Chess Champion...she also happens to be a hot gymnast ;)

Me: Damn i luv asian girls

Me: Hows it goin buttercup

Her: Well im not asian lol XD

Me: Ya me either lol

Me: watcha up to i just finished saving some kittens from these big bad trees (Meow)

Her: That sounds very heroic of you

Her: I'm just picking up my little brother from a camp thing lol

Me: Aw thats cute how old is the lil guy

Me: My lil cousin is in town we can set them up. She's related to me so she's quite adorable

Her: hahaha he's 12! Almost 13

Her: he's not really looking for anything serious tho :/

Me: Well babe she isnt about to be played by some smooth talkin 12 year old!

Me: im gonna b supervising..you and your brother

Me: i cant have you taking advantage of me either ;p

Her: haha we would never do that XD

Me: Hey love u goin out tonight or staying home w the kids lol :p

Her: haha i'm going out! But i'm not in XXX tonight

Me: wru

Her: XXX

Me: oh word

Me: hey im losing wifi shoot me your num

Her: Its XXX-XXXX :)

To txt

Me: Thank gawd the bubble came up blue could've been a deal breaker ;) (Aequitas)

Me: - Jihad

Her: hey boo

Her: true thank you for having an iphone XD

Me: Lol when r u back in town bhubbs

Her: I'm only here for a few days

Her: Come chill w meee

Me: Sounds like a plan

Me: wait, you still at XXX

Me: i aint driving there lol and my magic carpet is at the dry cleaners

Her: haha hellooo

Her: im sorry i was extremely drunk last night

Her: im still recovering 

Her: obviously i didnt expect you to drive to NC XD

Me: Lol all good girl

Me: although im still taking u up on that offer  ;)

Me: was blasted last night too went to bed with the shivers lol

No response for a day? Or two? Can't remember, either way, it wasn't enough for her to latch on too. A lil pushy.

Me: Pug Pic

Me: Hey you

Her: XD XD

Her: Hey hows it going?

Best way to re-engage a girl HANDS DOWN ;)

Her: I'm assuming you just didn't see this and you're not ignoring me :D

Oh shit...this chick's got game lol

Me: hey love not ignoring you just been hella busy is all

Me: How are you?

Her: haha dont worry im just kidding. I'm fine! Hanging out with my brother again

Me: Hey hot stuff what're u doin rn

Her: Hey ;) hanging w my fam

Me: what do i gotta do to get a playdate with u tonight

Me: u can bring your schoolgirl backpack and i'll provide the crayola markers

Her: I would be disappointed if there wasn't one cause i do love art projects :(

Her: I'm kinda busy tonight though with my family! But another night for sure

Me: All im reading is "save me!"

Me: i gotcha girl. Dont be alarmed when a rlly hot jacked dude barges in with a ski mask

Me: Thats me

Her: Believe me i would love to see that XD

Her: But everyone wants to hang with me. gotta split my time fairly

*Next day

Me: thats SO selfish of you :p

Me: Whats on the agenda for tday, im coaching little league soccer rn

*50min later

Me: now is not the time to be doing your nails

Her: haah im shadowing at my dads hospital today then i go to richmond for the weekend 

Her: My nails are not done actually and they look horrible :(

Me: Ya and you're also gonna see me before you leave

Her: Will you be mad if i said i dont have time?

Me: Do you wanna get spanked

Her: Yes

Me: Good i'll pick you up in a bit we'll grab icecream

Me: bring toilet paper

Her: funny XD i wish i could

Her: i do love icecream

Her: but i'll still love icecream on tuesday ;)

Me: That better be a date

Me: Cuz i'd love to

Her: Me too

Her: my schedule is a bit unpredictable but definitely sometime next week

Her: do you have snapchat

Me: Only if u send me something risque ;)

Her: depends on what you send me ;)

Me: idk if you could handle it

Her: I guess we'll see wont we

Me: You're a very bad girl. I like it

Me: i'm gonn ahave fun picking you up and throwing that hot lilbody around

Her: sounds like exactly what i need

Her: But you're gonna have to keep me interested

Me: girl im not your pet dog lol

Me: but i will eat you out like one if you behave yourself

Her: <3 

Her: ...but we'll start with icecream :D

Me: pff duh i aint free baby

Her: Neither am i

Me: ofcourse sweetheart, you're so cute n fiesty we're gonna look so good in those ski masks

Her: Idk i'd rather not rob anything or anyone just to be clear

Me: girl are you crazy? the only thing im gonna rob is your heart

Me: water it with luv and sprinkle it with gumdrops

Her: Aw thats very poetic of you

*Next day

Her: My snapchat is X if you feel the urge to add me ;)

*2 days later - Whoops lol

Her: Soo are we still going out this week or are you over me already :(

What a hella good re-engagement text lol

Me: *Selfie*

Me: Hey pumpkin been hella busy just got off work

Me: i'll let you know about this week but you gotta give me a day

Her: lol its alright, take your time i'll be patient ;)

Me: when do you get back

Her: tomorrow! I'm free tuesday

Me: wednesday we're getting icecream

Her: can't wait :)

**Over the course of the next few days I keep texting her just to maintain the vibe and build up the date. We sext too and Wednesday finally comes around.

The date was set up for 1PMish and she was gonna meet me at my place. Me being the top notch player that I am partied hard the night prior and woke up at 1:50PM to multiple txts and calls from her lol. She was getting progressively angrier per text. I kicked into Jimmy Neutron mode and conjured up an amazing plan (lie) to get this girl back to a good place and not lose the date.

Me: My toilet clogged

Me: Sry i've been ghost

Me: You still at your friends?

Yup. The classic toilet clog manuever. Works better than the hand of god they say ;)

Her: I am...

Her: Where have you been

Me: Class, phone on airplane mode...

Me: Icecreams on me my b

Her: so should i still come there?

Me: yup im getting ready

Her: Ok im in the lobby

So we end up meeting at 2PMish instead and boy is she looking fine like wine and mad as hell. I apologize again and take her inside to grab my wallet and keys (another secret technique to get girls used to your place before pulling back later - fractionation). We hop in my mom car, the exquisite Toyota 2007 Highlander with a gold ensemble. I'm told its the only one of its kind in the state I live in. Yay me..

We grab icecream and the date is moving according to plan except every now and then she keeps reminding me of my fuck up. In the beginning, I was apologizing, then laughing it off, then switching to another topic because I did genuinely mess up. A lot of guys get hung up on industry terms like "self-amusement" and "shit test" etc. when sometimes, you really are just being an ass lol. That being said, I had already made it up to her and she was STILL bringing it up. I paid for the icecream, drove her, apologized...what else did she want? Me on my knees sucking her cock? Lol not happening. Not without whip cream first ;P

Point is, I caught on to what game she was trying to play. Most guys would cave and get wrapped around this sexy lil she-wolfs thumb. Not me. The next time she brought it up, I looked her in the eyes, calmly, stone cold, and delivered with a tinge of venom in my voice , "Are you done?" She was caught off guard, then tried to put resistance, but I slapped that away as well, "We're over this. No more...

Then I smashed :D

Wasn't that easy though, when we got to my place I carried her into my bed and started to unravel her sexy bod. She was fighting me the entire time and wasn't letting me get any :(

So I just laid there alongside her after some unnsuccessful attempts, relaxed and unreactive to any resistance she put up. I knew in my mind I was gonna fuck her, on the off chance i didnt, so what? She doesn't have a car. How else is she supposed to get home lol jk ;)

Slowly but surely, she melted into my arms...

And then on my penis :D

It just took a gentler touch. (Honestly wish I had more details, this part of the interaction was a bit fuzzy as its been a while. But the main points are here)

Note: For those of you who 'struggle' w/ LMR, LMR doesn't exist. I don't even like to use the term. You get *LMR* cause you didn't handle certain aspects of the interaction prior properly. There's no such thing as LMR. She just doesn't want to fuck you lol. True LMR is honest misgivings about a situation or token resistance girls put up to not come across easy. Those can be swatted away ezypzy

-Jihad outty

P.S. She came for seconds and could not hop off my cock for weeks after. Never even had to set up a date. She initiated and even brought me dinner to netflix n chill at my place. There wasn't a real connection on my side so I slowly tapered contact off with her. I still use her netflix account to this day tho w/o her knowing ;)