Openness and Connection
Tue, 03/04/2014 - 01:57
I've always had an issue with being standoffish and closed off to people. This is something that MW addressed in training with me both over Skype and in person, but I simply didn't listen and therefore didn't internalize what he was saying. I don't know exactly why I was like that, probably because it gave me a feeling of control. I felt like I was always seeking approval from people and didn't like that dynamic--I wanted to be in charge. I'm a people person and I want to connect with other people and enjoy getting to know them, so this was sabotaging me in several ways:
- It made me come across as grumpy or an asshole. I tried to act aloof to both appear cool and in control to guys, and to make girls think I'm not interested.
- It left me pushing people away who wanted to get to know me, and who I would probably want to know too
- Overall it limited my social interactions because I wasn't able to actually be the group leader--I couldn't embrace and take care of everyone if I'm shutting them out.
I've recently started being open to people and open to connecting with them. I've made more friends and had more sex than before, and at the same time I've made deeper connections with those around me. The crazy part is that I definitely FEEL more in general, and specifically more vulnerable, more compassion, and more love. Its at the same time both challenging and exciting. And the bottom line is that without both accepting and expressing my own value, I would be a total mess, but confidence in my intrinsically high value as a man allows me to feel this strongly from a positive position wherein I'm no longer "afraid of getting hurt."
If I reach out to people and they "reject" me, it only takes a second to brush it off. If I feel for a girl and he does something to "betray" me, it hurts for a minute but then the wound heals quickly, and the craziest part is that I'm not angry with her afterwards and don't hold grudges.
Tue, 03/04/2014 - 08:51
#1
"Everyone's my friend", and I
"Everyone's my friend", and I must continue to project this vibe and put in work to maintain it. Pimping and being awesome is a choice, and some strenuous. But when it's who you are it's the best possible life to live. You're open to opportunities, friendships, feelings and relationships that closed off people will never know exist. You create your own reality
__________________
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male