take away lessons from first foray back into game all year

hey my bebbies ;)

so, i've been out of game for a while. i even had a few emotional ruts where i mostly turned my back on the whole thing. now, i'm successfully working on myself and fixing my issues with my new clarity.

i started consistent regular meditation this year and it's turned things around. it made lsitening to tolle more effective, because previously it wasn't helping at all. now, i can actually feel meaning and change from his words. also, i was having issues with getting a kryptonite breathing oneitis girl that manwhore was sick of hearing about. it wasn't until i started meditating did she and i get anywhere and i finally slept with her. we then had an amazing high octane relationship for the next six months.

I went out this weekend without any brush up on my homework from training. 

these 3 girls that i could have closed but didn't:

friday night - The cute fem/straight/"no label" lawyer:

met her a gay event. i was in motor mouth mode and had just left two warm up sets of girls who were pretty interested in me but i didn't find them attractive enough. i bump into her as i'm walking outside and she's walking inside. I fly us  off into hyper speed conversation right away. we're high energy. i'm making up a nonsequential crazy story about us. something do with her or me being a criminal, or a spy or, 006, or whatever, i don't remember. i make her guess at my accent. i keep spinning stories and it's hilarious. she's completly swept up in my whirlwind fantasy land. my personal backstroy changes 800 times. i'm funny, she's laughing heaps. i'm hitting on her and she can tell. she looks/seems straight and is quite fem and innocent and from what i know of her now, is proboably only used to men. these girls are harder to get than pure breed lesbians, as they act more like higher value girls as mw would describe, e.g. not giving away indicators, getting in their own way, etc. but i know what's actually up, because what i've learned from game. she'll take no initiative or responsibility in this, i have to lead her 100% from meetup to taking her panties off. that's what she wants and needs. i lead her around for the sake of it. a guy friend of mine bursts into our conversation. we hug, we chat, i take control of the conversation once the excitement is over, and i steer her towards the bathroom because she was looking for it. she goes in, i bounce around the venue, drinking water, talking to ladies and men, it doesn't matter. i hit up an attractive older women who's dressed up in a sexy maid outfit. the conversation goes alright until i weird her out with something on her way back from the bar. i got back to an older set, talk some more. a lady comes up and talks to me. says we've got matching pants. we talk and i say well one of will have to take our pants off then, lol. i'm not actually hitting on her, she's pretty unattractive. i push the point playfully and she freaks and leaves. i've seen the cute lawyer surround by her guy friends. i got back over and push my way into the conversation. i tell her we will play pool. she says ok. she doesn't come over right away. i get bored, go over to her and drag her away to the pool table. while we play i tell her things like, "i'm officier of the pool table", and that i'll have to handcuff her or arrest her. there's the slightest of spikes in her arousal. at oen point she asks me if i'm actually in law enforcement. i get physical with her by "teaching" her how to line up a shot. i hold her into me, get her to to get down low to line up the shot with her eyes, my head is right next to hers, my hand is moving her hips into me. i know nothing about pool, this is pure B.S. i do it a few times. the pool games drags and i know i'm not making moves like i should be. i'm ruining it by not doing anything. i lead her away to sit down. her guy friends come back in and between them they take over her attention. i say lets go outside for some air. she gets worried about me that i needed to go because i hated crowds or couldn't breath or something. she tell me about her dad "having the same issue". while we're talking outside, something she says hints to me that she's actually straight and i get deflated and start feeling tired and irritated. we go into boring platonic talk because apparently i've given up. we go back inside and keep talking. i want to leave her and regain some energy from new people or by taking a break, but i can't, she's like my shadow now. she tells me, she "no label" sexualty. the intereaction is winding down, i annoy her by making a joke about straight girls being bad at sex because they just starfish. i keep trying to make the conversation funny again even though she's started attacking me. it eventually works but i'm tired and i say i need to go get going to meet some friends. she says she needs to go to get an early bus the next morning. she leaves. 

i know it's a big screw up on my part. not enough escalating, i lost confidence in dealing with logistics and getting her to my place without her bailing, i wasn't focused on the close, i could have fucked her in the bathroom. i was a puussaaay. 

saturday night - The friend in a relationship:

i didnt actually want this one, but i sorta gamed her by accident/auto pilot. she's cute but i'm not attracted enough to her physically. i met her and other friends out at a pub. i sneak up to her from behind and pick her up in a bear hug. we all just have normal conversation. i inititate us getting food. they ask me about how friday nigth went and say they want to come next time, they're cool with the whole picking up thing and want to be my wing-women. nice. talking about (trying) to pick up other women seems to turn this girl on. we all play pool. because of how last nights set failed, i tell myself to physically escalate on this girl and she's super receptive, even grabbing my ass, even trying to pelvis grind me from behind while i'm taking shot (like i did to her) but she can't because i'm way too tall for her. she's dropping anvil sized hints that i'm only peripherally aware of. she's never been on my radar as a sexual target. i'm super comfortable with ocming on to her physically. i'm doing it playfully because i'm pretty handsy with all my female friends anyway, it's always funny. i'm even stuffing coins down my married friends bra and then pretneding to put the coins in my underwear to keep them warm. it's usual me. i smack all the butts. my females friend get sore asses for sure. it gets late and i'm really tired. i say it's bedtime, and i maybe i said it AT the interested friend, or in a way that i meant she i and were going to bed together. i don't know. but i drive her and another friend to their homes and on the way she makes a comment about how I COULD have taken her home, but i've lost out because i said my batmobile and lfying saucer were both at the mechanics. haha. i drop her at her house. i've played dumb the whole car right because she's in a relationship and i'm not attracted to her.

sunday night - The married (to a dude) soccer girl:

she was at same gay event where i met the lawyer girl on friday night. she's signed up to a soccer team i've created from women in lesbain fb groups. i havent met any of them before. when i find her, i chat with her a bit, it's platonic but i bring up my experience with women in open marriages and she lights up. eventually i move on to another set. she's attractive and also seems to be on a date with a women who i don't acknowledge. i fb pm her later on sunday, saying thanks for inviting me into a couple lesbian fb event groups that i didn't know about.

skip a bit of conversation, and then,

her: yeah bummer i'm not going to be able to make the first game...

her: good luck, hope we win!! lol!

me: of course we will ;)

her: of course! ;)

me: i'm worried about you girls getting sick of winning honestly ;)

her: :P

her: well we'll see about that! probably won't be winning too much with me playing ;)

me: i'll turn you into a soccer player in no time, no buts.

her: haha! you have your work cut out for you ;)

her: are we still going to do weekend practise?

me: i know how to handle team trouble makers. ;) yeah, i was just booked out this weekend, what with robbing petrol stations and everything.

her: :P

me: haha

her: yeah, i'm a big trouble maker ;)

her: might have to have the occasional drinks night too, you know, to keep up team spirit and all...

her: :P

me: yes, team "spirits" lol

her: crying lauhging emoji

her: indeed ;)

me: it looks like i'll have to give you extra homework. i've got my eye on you, trouble ;)

her: big wink emoji

her: you do what you have to do ;P

me: you know i will, you'll be under captains orders. drinks night is an awesome idea. i'll chat with you later, skater. i have to go wrestle with my great nemisis... laundry :(

her: have fun with that, catch ya later :)

it occured to me that i could have gotten to come over to mine that very night but was doing other shit i needed done for work the next day. after goign over my homework from skype training, i read mw saying things along the lines; waiting to see a girl on the weekend was the easy way out, that i need to go in for the kill otherwise the trail will go cold. true dat. i also remembered the link he sent me to a post on decisiveness and ambivalence and realised i needed to decide that i'd bang this woman, and get it done. i'd been wishy-washy (technical term) with all of them. i didnt' even know if i wanted sex at all this weekend. hopefully this chick didnt look too far into me exiting the conversation when it got suggestive. i don't think i've ruined it, though.

take away lessons: 

killer instinct, decisiveness, aggression in pursuit and physical escalation, better leadership, quicker lays (because i get bored), harder leading, stuff.

night. x