Stopping Negativity from Gaining Traction & Flipping the Script
I don’t do this a lot, but a contributor from my forum at http://manwhore.org/forum put up an AMAZING post where he verbally body slammed his sister’s future mother-in-law and really put an overbearing and meddling woman in her place in defense of his own mother. The way he handled it really deserves some scrutiny.
If you care to contribute to the discussion the original forum thread is located at: http://manwhore.org/forum/content/stopped-negativity-gaining-traction-and-flipped-script
So yesterday, I was with my mom at my godparent’s house and they were all doin shit for my sister’s wedding
And at one point, the mother of my sister’s fiance comes over and they are all talking and eventually it gets to the point where the mother starts asking my mom about her religion and basically is like, “I don’t want my grandchildren growing up like that”.. and a bunch of bullshit like that..
Uhmmm…. well my mom was taking it like a champ, like totally answering this woman’s questions from a higher level of concsiousness. She was all, “Well, I am proud of who I am and if you are unhappy about something having to do with that, I think that’s something you’re going to have to deal with”
I was super amped for my mom, cause she’s always sorta let people walk all over her and this time she stood up for herself, at least a little.
But this woman kept pushing, kept pushing and kept holding this frame where my mom, without knowing it, basically was accepting that her religion was inferior and had to be defended, even though she was doing a fantastic job of doing so…
So uhmm yeah, in comes buddhagames. Bitch is about to get FUCKED UP.
I was FURIOUS at this woman. I had heard the whole convo and I didn’t really want to get involved at first but she just kept going and then at a certain point, in my head I’m like, FUCK THIS. I got my mom’s back, this is just gay shit that I don’t want to listen to.
So while this woman is talking, I literally just say, “[her name]. This conversation is over.”
And I sit there and I don’t say shit. I just calmy say, “This conversation is over” and then she looks at me and goes, “Excuse me?”
And I keep looking at her and I get that REALLY FIRM feeling inside of me, you know, like when you know you’re about to dominate.
And so I just go off, and I’m like, “Look, I like you, I really do. I think your son is amazing and I’m very happy that my sister has the opportunity to marry such a stand up guy. But the conversation you are having with my mom, right now. It is over. I don’t ever want to hear you mention this type of stuff around her again. You are trying to put her on the defensive, for something that we are very proud of. The real issue here, is not whatever religion your grandchildren will have, but the type of grandmom they are going to have”
I let that sink in. At this point, nobody is talking.. it’s dead fucking silent. I put my arm around my mom and just kinda rub her shoulder a bit and then take it off and continue..
“What you need to think about is why this sort of thing matters to you and why you feel the need to project this bullshit onto my mom. Religion isn’t something that needs to be a dividing line between our families but you are making it that and that’s something that I’m not okay with”
She just doesn’t say shit. I get up and I’m all, “But that being said, I really do like you and I want this relationship to be awesome.”
Bitch fucking starts crying…. This woman is like 57 years old and literally starts CRYING in front of me. Like… are you shitting ME?!?!
I didn’t feel sorry for her for a SECOND.
My mom goes in to try and make her feel better and I grab my mom and I’m like, “Come here” and I walk to the other room with her and I sit her down and I say, “You have no reaosn to make her feel better. Just let her think about everything and just stay in here and keep making the goody bags”
I go back inside and I sit down across from her and don’t say anything. I just sit there and watch this woman cry. Until, eventually she realizes I’m not going to say shit. And then she looks up and is like, “You have no respect to talk to me like that, I’m almost 60 years old”
And I look at her and, in the same calm voice I’ve had the whole time, “Look, like I’ve said countless times, I have a lot of respcet for the way you’ve reaised your son, and I like you. But you need to realize that you have no right to talk to my mom like that..
She gets up and grabs her things and leaves.
I didn’t yell. I didn’t call her names. I literally just sat there and told her the facts and took her out of this rediculous power frame she was in. She was being a fucking bully to my own mother, right in front of me… and somehow expected me to take that shit?
YEAH FUCKING RIGHT.
Anyway- There is drama.
I did nothing wrong. I don’t feel bad for anything. I called my sister up and told her what happened and she wasn’t pissed. She was really stoked taht I had my mom’s back. She said she was going to call this woman and talk to her and basically tell her that it’s not her decision what religion her children are and that it will be a decision for her and her fiance to make.
I don’t think I’ve ever had my mom’s back like this. In fact, this is something new inside of me but it felt aewsome. I just knew that it was the right thing to do.