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How To Talk To Girls

Submitted by on March 18, 2013 – 5:58 pm11 Comments

How to talk to girls

There are 3 main areas you must cover when learning how to talk to girls. They are: 1) Vocal Projection 2) “Lowering the Bar“, and 3) “Boss Daddy” Communication (instead of friend to friend)

1) Vocal Projection

When you talk to a girl, or a group of people, you must speak clearly, forcefully, and always have emotion in your voice. This conveys authority and conviction, two things that humans are hardwired to respond to with compliance. Most people think of an orator or a public speaker when envisioning someone with this kind of speaking ability. And they imagine they must have incredibly significant content to be “allowed” to speak with such power or conviction. But in actuality it has more to do with the physiological way in which the voice is projected (through use of lungs, diaphragm, and vocal cords to produce volume and “force” in the voice), rather than the content itself. Many public speakers and politicians, and even preachers, use incredibly simple rhetoric when speaking, yet are masters of vocal projection and therefore are incredibly compelling to listen to and watch. How to talk to girls

Good solid vocal projection is produced through: “diaphragmatic breathing” (proper breathing technique), “speaking cognizance“, and “modulated vocal tonality“. Through these techniques, the voice becomes louder and stronger, and more full of emotional expression.

It is also the most effective way of cold approaching a woman you don’t yet know. By walking up and speaking loudly and clearly to her, it communicates to her on an unconscious biological level, that you are a strong high-value male. She will instantly respond to you, and treat you with more respect than she gives to quieter, more subdued men.

2) Lowering the Bar
This refers to the idea of removing your “social filter” and simply saying anything that pops into your head when talking to a girl. The main reason why this is so difficult for most, is that people adopt filters in their heads that keep them from saying things that could be perceived as “strange” or abnormal, and that then might subsequently lower their perceived social status. This is many times completely unconscious, and frustratingly enough seems to strike at exactly the wrong moment, e.g. you’re talking to a girl you like, or need to impress a potential new client/boss/contact, and your mouth and brain clam up. But by training oneself to simply speak without filter, and trusting on natural calibration (you have a lifetime of experience talking to people, and your natural conversational quirks are simply that.. unique), you develop the ability to sound comfortable and compelling when speaking. This also has the added benefit of never inadvertently creating verbal competition between you and a girl. You take her off her guard by letting her know you are simply self-expressing, completely nonjudgmental, and just having fun.

So, by lowering the bar, e.g. just spitting out whatever comes out, and keeping your vocal projection strong, you have achieved the ability to “pimp talk” a girl. Listen to any guy that’s good with women, or anyone you know of that’s good at talking off the cuff.. and what you’ll notice is that their content isn’t that good at all, it’s their delivery.

So by paying attention to #1 (above) you give yourself the ability to say anything, and make it sound magical. This concept is also many times also referred to as the “million dollar mouthpiece”, or, “verbal vomiting”.

3) Boss Daddy Communication 
This is one of the big secrets of “seduction” that doesn’t get talked about enough, and isn’t really even understood by most of the big companies out there. It is understood that most men talk to women in a way that unconsciously conveys they are seeking their approval, want something from them, or perceive themselves to be of lower social value than the woman they are speaking to. This is incredibly unattractive to most women, and is a killer of natural biological attraction between a man and a woman. This part is understood reasonably well, however, what isn’t addressed very well at all, is what to say to women, e.g. how to steer the conversation in the right direction, how to shape a “seductive” conversation, and how to make her want to have sex.. when she didn’t want to before the guy started talking to her.

Women want a guy who’s strong-willed and masculine, and a social leader, but they also want him to be “nice” to them, and never hurt them emotionally. “Boss Daddy Communication” refers to this dichotomy. The “boss” side of things refers to the authority and masculinity you bring to bear when conversing with her, and the “daddy” part refers to the endearing, “comfort-based” tonality and attitude you use with her.

Being an ex-military guy, I had the “boss” side of things down, but I could be a bit intimidating to some girls, or not emotionally flexible enough to be able to provide certain things a girl needed to feel comfortable with me. Hanging out with Tim of RSD really gave me my first glimpse of the “daddy” attitude he had when talking with women. (He called it the “Bubble of Love”) He always let them know that even if he was teasing them and “showing them who was boss”, he always did it in a playful way and always let them know he wasn’t trying to vilify them or lower their social status. This is the problem with the typical “seduction community” dogma that states you must “neg” a girl.. in the hands of an inexperienced guy, or a bitter one, negging comes off harsh and inappropriate between a guy and a girl, and makes her feel like you’re trying to paint her as a social outcast. No girl wants to feel this way.. ever. She will scratch your eyes out first!

So the correct way to do this is to tease a girl playfully, or boss her around in a way that isn’t serious or condescending.

Example:
Look girl.. I think you need to make me a sandwich.. STAT. And I hope you only “cook” using the best ingredients, that being jiffy! Do NOT try to hand me any of that generic peanut butter. Ew gross!

Shameless plug: My long-term coaching program covers all three of these points comprehensively, and since it is drill-based, it forces you to improve in all three areas! Click HERE to shoot me an email and I will send you details!

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11 Comments »

  • rightnow911go says:

    Can you expand on showing emotion in the voice. Also everything you’re saying is beyond 100% correct about having a certain voicetone and way you talk that you can talk about apples and make it sound good

  • DJ says:

    Manwhore…about the 3rd one. I do use “Boss Daddy” communication quite frequently, but I feel like I am actually showing to much of the bubble of love than the aggressive side. It was brought to my knowledge that most women like to talk about themselves and that we should listen to them and make emotional connections with them. This way we are not just random guy who is trying to get in their pants. It sounds weak over text, but this is the only way I can explain it. By no means am I saying to be a pansy, but just not so primitive and brutal. I’m starting to realize your way might be better though, because I’m coming into a lot of situations where I felt like the women had more power than me in the conversation. How can I flip it, so I am always leading?

  • Manwhore says:

    This is a really involved topic, and even with training it takes a while to get down. But watch any public speaker or famous celebrity, and listen to how they embed emotion into their voice.

  • Manwhore says:

    The “leading” side of things is way more important than the endearing side. Sure it’s great for a feel good time, but if you’re not leading a girl effectively, you’re never going to get anywhere with her.

  • […] This is one of those times focusing on the skillset will help you more than focusing on getting the girl. And to get the basic speaking fundamentals down, read this post on how to talk to girls. […]

  • […] Do you know what the opposite of cockbocking is? She can’t hear and I repeat it. She looks at me cute and expectantly. “Cuntpunting”.. and drag my buddy away. She’s kind of mad but it’s funny and showed her the guys were in charge. My communication style is also something I highly developed, check it out here at how to talk to girls. […]

  • […] Also, for further reading on strong communication with women, check out this post how to talk to girls […]

  • […] I want to put a STRONG focus on the conversation we have during the car ride.  Because the end result that happened between us is definitely based on the conversation we had.  First off, I don’t “try” at all.  I’m simply hanging out and doing what’s fun, and talking about random ass topics.  I’m not trying to “seduce” her, or create “rapport” or “comfort” with her.  I’m simply speaking my mind about whatever.  This causes conversation to really flow.  There are no expectations… just two people talking.  This gets her loosened up and after I start teasing her about random stuff she just knows convo is a free-for-all. But I still stick to the fundamentals of strong communication, that I clearly define here at how to talk to girls. […]

  • Michael Vera says:

    Very very very nice. I’m a new reader of this site

    nice.

    Manwhore is a strong title though.

  • […] to Sext How to Talk to Girls […]

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