Great game is not "game" at all. Great game is an authentic expression of who you are as a man who has come into his masculine power. Great game is you assuming your natural role and obligation as social leader. Gimmicks and tricks are easy to learn and seem to get results at first, but those results go just as easily. Guys get good at seducing girls and they're still left wanting more. There are no shortcuts.
Except when that "shortcut" is training with Manwhore.
I first came across Manwhore's forum from rsdnation.com. Owen Cook and the gang over there are great guys, and I've learned a lot from their free videos and one of their products, which I will talk about here shortly.
Sometime in 2008 or 2009 I came across the book "The Game." Like most guys I was fascinated by this tale of short, nerdy writer who became a master at seducing hot women. I mean, who doesn't want to be a lady killer? The best part about The Game is that Neil Strauss is short, bald, and has an annoying voice. Its nearly impossible to claim that his success with women came from anything other than learning "Game." Other pickup instructors are tall or good-looking or rich or whatever. Neil Strauss was the epitome of AFC and that's why the story was so seductive.
Unfortunately for my cock and me, though intrigued by the book, I sort of laughed it off as a cool story, but one that did not apply to me. Fear probably had much to do with it, because the activities described in the book that caused Neil to build his skills with seducing women required leaving my house and moving outside of my "comfort zone." I've always been somewhat of an extrovert, but I was afraid of what building the skill set entailed. I was afraid of rejection.
My ego over time had grown to monstrous proportions and I did what I felt necessary to protect it. One of the main ways of protecting it was by keeping it safe from rejection. I could still pretend that I was good with women as long as no real women actually rejected me.
At some point in time I became aware of the online community known as the "manosphere." I won't get into much detail here, but suffice it to say that there are a few blogs with good advice for guys unaware of the workings of modern sex and relationships.
Chateau Heartiste, aka "Roissy" was the first blog from which I took action on something I read. He spends time talking about how much chicks dig jerks, assholes, cads, and players. He may be solely responsible for the spread of what is known as "asshole" game. Be the uncaring asshole, get the girl. He goes into much more detail in his posts on how to execute this style of game, but the above description fits it well.
My first foray into Game was using asshole game. I worked with a girl who is 10 years younger than me has a big juicy booty. One day I told her to get her fat ass out of my way. She made some weird whimpering noise in her throat as I walked past. After that she followed me around asking me questions about myself, and texted me that night. I asked her, "Who is this." She told me. I asked her how she got my number, apparently she asked my boss for it. I told her not to text me. A few days later she offered me a ride home. I live 45mins away from her. I said thanks, but I'll take the train. I "let" her make me late for the train so she'd have to drive me. Fucked her in her car.
A month or two later we went to an event. I looked hot and she told me so, but she was with her boyfriend that night. She was all over him during dinner--we were sitting at the same table--and I guess she was trying to make me jealous. At some point I sent her a text that said "nice bra straps" because her bra straps were showing from underneath her tight red dress. She got pissed off and went to the bathroom to text me "fuck you." We went to the bar afterwards and she was with her boyfriend there too. She drove him home and then came back to the bar. Thirty minutes later I was fucking her in her car.
Some time later I ran a similar routine. Met a Ivy-league college student out at my favorite watering hole. She was cute but annoying. In between talking to other people, I would talk to her and call her a little retard. I went outside to talk to my friends for a while but told her I'd be gone for 2mins. My friends saw her waiting for me and laughed. I told them that I'd give her 20mins and if she's till there then its on. She told her friends to leave her and around 25mins later I came back inside. She was still waiting for me. She had tried to kiss me a few times during the night but I denied her. Outside, just me and her, I spun her around against the wall and kissed her hard. I took her hand and said, "Where do you live because that's where we're going." She told me and we walked a block to her apartment.
We went upstairs and got naked, but she said we couldn't have sex until I told her my name and gave her my number. We exchanged information. I took a second to take in the sight of her petite naked body laid out on the bed in front of me, waiting. As I'm about to enter her I hear, "Hellooooo, hellooooo, helllooooo..." and I find out that she has somehow accidentally called her mother on speakerphone at 3 am. Its cool, must have happened when she put my number in. I tossed her phone to the side and went to try again. Seconds later her phone starts ringing again. She insists on answering it because its her mom and she's worried. I got up and put on my pants. She's like, "what the fuck?" I said, "You're retarded and I'm leaving." She yelled at me, "You fucking asshole, you can't leave!" I did.
Somewhere along the line I became aimless. I would go out to drink and socialize, but was having weak interactions with the ladies. I hit on some girls that I was not attracted to just because. I found myself in situations wherein if I had some balls, I would have gotten to the sexy time.
Fast forward to this past fall. I'm on a 2 year long dry spell. I haven't been able to motivate myself to go out and game. I haven't moved past approach anxiety and I'm becoming desperate. I was doing what I thought was ok with social circle and getting attraction from girls, but I was terrified to cold approach and was not able to close girls from social circle.
I moved from a large city this fall out to a resort town in the mountains. The guy-to-girl ratio was terrible. I would meet cute girls who seemed fun and into me, but then within a few days they would have several guys chasing after them and their behavior changed completely. Now they were still nice, but curt, and definitely did not have time to hang out. The hot ones had guys offering to take them out to dinner 7 nights a week.
Well, boo-fucking-hoo you say. I agree. And I decided that it was time to do something about my situation.
I briefly went over my study of game up until this point in time. I just wanted to mention my experience with Real Social Dynamics and their products. I was first introduced to "Tyler Durden," real name Owen Cook, as the villain in the book The Game. A friend lent me his DVDs of the Blueprint Decoded program and I watched those a few years ago. I had all of this Game theory floating around in my brain, but had failed to go out consistently and talk to girls. This is no fault of the guys at RSD because they make it clear over and over again that you must go out and apply the Game theory. My ego and fear were holding me back.
Rewind for a minute. I chose to do something about it last summer. I went out to a RSD Free Tour, hoping to learn some cool stuff and meet some guys to go out with. The free tour was good, and their presentation convinced me to sign up for the Hotseat. Hotseat is an RSD product wherein an instructor (in this case Owen Cook himself) shows and explains footage of himself or Julien seducing chicks over 15 hours or so. They show themselves in different sorts of scenarios doing different things, but always with the focus on breaking down how they execute the seduction.
I write about the Hotseat because it opened my eyes to what is possible for a man with tight Game. These guys pulled girls the same night under challenging circumstances over and over again. They also showed clips of rejections and mistakes, so that they could share these with us to learn from them. The Hotseat was great, but, in my mind, it did not contain the "How." I could see these guys pulling girls, so I knew at one level that I could do it too, but I didn't actually feel that I could do it. Their successes still seemed out of reach for me.
Another notable feature the Free Tour and Hotseat weekend was that I met some local guys who wanted to go out talking to chicks. One or two of them were advanced, and the others were definitely intermediates--all of them more skilled than me. I got phone numbers from a few of the guys and later went out with them. They pushed me to get better, but I would eject or tell myself I had fucked up or not even do the approach in the first place. I basically felt like I was letting them down and being a drag, so I stopped trying to hang out with them.
The other fun part of the Free Tour and Hotseat were meeting Owen Cook and Todd. The last night of the Hotseat we went out dancing at a gay bar--the only late night spot open--and then ate at a diner. I enjoyed talking to both of them and picking their brains. They are both great guys and have an outstanding company.
But all of that wasn't good enough for me and my issues. I guess I thought I was special and needed something more. Even after the Free Tour, Hotseat, and hanging out with those two, I still could not get myself to approach and had problems with self-image and self-esteem and confidence.
Moving the resort town finally pushed me over the edge, and I decided to take some action. I knew that if I did not learn the skillset now, then I wasn't getting laid--unless I took a liking to fat girls because they definitely took a liking to me. One night one of them bought me two drinks in a row, and I told my buddy what was up and he's like, dude you need to get out of here. So I bounced while she was buying the third drink. Yikes!
I went to Manwhore's site several times, began filling out the form for long-term coaching, and then did not hit submit. One day I took the time to fill the whole thing out, but this time when I was finished I actually clicked submit.
He responded shortly with some links to read and a description of the coaching program. Also he sent over questions that I needed to answer pertaining to my experience with game and what I wanted out of game and life. He explained to me how the program works, what it entails, and when we were going to begin.
I was excited. The reviews of the program were solid and the price was right. I felt like I could trust him to guide me based on testimonials on his website as well as his wealth of experience. This is very important. I trusted him enough to send the money for the first month. Once the money was sent, I was psychologically invested. Even though I paid almost as much money for Hotseat, I wasn't invested in it. It was an experience or entertainment. Coaching with Manwhore was real to me because I trusted in him and invested money in that trust. Now he and I both had leverage over me with which we could initiate change. Its funny because I went to psychologists and therapists in the past, but partly because I was both assigned to them and my health insurance paid for the sessions there was little investment and thus little results on my part.
I had been at this process of self-improvement for a long time, both on my own and with help from others. I managed to lose 70lbs and keep it off. I stopped being an alcoholic. I pulled myself out of a persistent depressive state. I just patted myself on the back. But it was like I was climbing a mountain the longest way possible. Instead of marching straight up the most direct route, I was ascending towards the peak in huge loops, making sure that each upward inch came only after walking around the whole mountain. Its simultaneously exhilarating and painful to feel like you are making progress while keeping your goal so far out of reach. I turned to Manwhore to end this cycle.
He was clearly prepared for our first Skype session. He knew what I needed to do to get started and he reinforced the positive changes that I had made. The first session was focused on Game because that it is the main reason why I contacted him in the first place. I took notes during the session and sent them to him at the end. He needed to know that I was paying attention, and be able to see that he was getting through to me.
Getting through to me. Yeah, this would become a theme over the three months. I heard everything he said and read every word he wrote. But fuck my skull is thick. Its that but its not. Its also fear and ego. The body is built to survive and as long as its surviving then it feels there is no need to change and even fights change. Self-sabotage is an insidious bitch.
Guys like to call themselves "hardcases." The usual picture is of a pale fat neckbeard sitting in his parents basement who is in love with an anime character and beats of to my little pony. He typically only has e-friends, but no friends IRL. Thanks to indulgent parents and modern technology he ends up on medication for anxiety, overweight, and with no social or marketable skills. These guys will label themselves as "Forever Alones." They often come from a very dark place filled with misogyny, bitterness, and depression. As a result they are fearful and awkward. For some of them merely the idea of talking to someone in person sends them into an anxiety attack.
Well, that doesn't describe me at all. I am tall and good-looking. I was in leadership positions in highschool and college. I am fucking hilarious. Yet the truly funny part is that in many ways I was worse off than a stereotypical "hardcase." Over time I had developed labyrinthine ego protection mechanisms such that I was always able to fool myself in the short-term and talk myself out of good decisions and into bad ones. I could rationalize away inaction every single time. I pretended that I didn't need to do this or that. I had make-believe standards that I held myself to. Excuse after excuse until the pain would cause me to shut down. And then I'd be back at it again, making up stories to tell myself so I would feel better about not listening and not taking action.
Like a hardcase--and the only thing that actually matters in Game, I had not had sex in years. I had opportunities, but bailed and failed again and again. I couldn't get it together and be the man who closes, who gets the girl in the end.
I can feel the anger and self-judgment bubbling up like a sour burp as I type this out. The one thing on my part that made this training successful is that I promised myself and Manwhore that I would not lie to him. I would lie to myself all the time, but not to him. I told him about the rationalizations and the excuses. He was an e-guest at many a pity party.
This part is very important and what sets Manwhore apart from the others in the industry. Other guys who wrote testimonials talk about how he does these great drills--which is very true--and is available much of the time for answering questions and chatting. That part of his program is outstanding, and I will get to it shortly, but if it wasn't for his determination and drive to see me succeed and not let me fail, I would probably have quit a long time ago. He did not give one fuck that I considered myself a hardcase. He saw the amazing, sexy man inside--wanted by women around the world--that was dying to break free.
I admire this ability of his possibly above all the others. He could see through my bullshit every time. And every time he saw through it he was there offering constructive criticism, encouragement, and action steps. Dear god, he must have repeated himself hundreds of times, but he was patient throughout.
A skype session started off each week of training. During the session he would talk about what he needed from me--behavior, mindsets, actions--and let me tell him how things were going. Often times he would demonstrate and then have me work through one or more verbal drills. He illustrated many of his points with real life experiences of his, be it with girls, friends, or in business. But mostly with girls and mostly with them ending up with his cock inside them and his cum on them.
During the session I took notes to make sure I was paying attention and then after the session I sent the notes into him. Based on his assessment of what I needed to do next to make progress, he would send me weekly homework. The homework consisted of relevant articles to read or audios to listen to, verbal drills, and then "infield" drills.
The articles and audios were almost all written or recorded by him in which he draws out lessons and illustrations of those lessons from his own real life encounters with girls. Surprisingly, the girls end up getting fucked by him. I know, so weird. These are all free on his website and take 5-15mins to read tops.
I won't go into the verbal drills in too much detail because they are his trade secret and competitive advantage. They are, however, the heart of developing charisma. They bring out the dominant social leader inside of you who girls love and want to fuck. The drills get you "out of your head," present and expressive. Its amazing how 15-20mins a day of talking to yourself or your dog can change so much of how other people see you. Successful, daily completion of the drills brings out the "Million-dollar mouthpiece" who entertains, charms, and seduces those around him. In fact, simply doing the drills alone brought about changes in my interactions with co-workers, salespeople, friends, and bartenders. I could feel myself opening up and letting go and enjoying people around me more. People started looking to me for leadership. It was pretty cool.
The infield drills nail down the science and the art of actually setting everything up so that you were putting your penis into her vagina at the end of the night. Step by step, based on my actions and my progress. Manwhore requires weekly, if not daily, reports. He wants to know what's working and what's not, so that he can diagnose the issue. If I hadn't been so stubborn, I would have ended my drought much sooner than I did. These drills will be different for everyone since everyone is at a different place in their development. He makes sure that you have the basics down when it comes to approaching, verbal and physical escalation, leading, figuring out logistics, pulling, and then the final steps to ensure that the penis goes into the vagina. He will also help with getting phone numbers and learning text game.
All in all its an iterative process wherein you report back to him, he tells you what you need to do next, you supposably do those things, and then you report back to him again. He'll diagnose what needs to be done next and tell you. This is the other skill of his that may be his best asset--his ability to pinpoint your precise sticking point, and then tell you how to overcome it. Again and again, he knew exactly what I was doing wrong and how to fix it. I didn't listen for a long time. I was mired in bitterness, ego, and fear. If I had just listened and done as he said this whole thing would have been over with much sooner. But then again, maybe I would have missed out. I barely remember that first email I sent to him 5 months ago.
And its difficult now to remember what it was like to be that person who sent the email. Reading it again today, I don't know who that was, because its definitely not who I am anymore. I've changed for the better. I now have confidence, fun, and gratitude in my life. The ladies love it. And so do I.