Pretty Interesting Talk
I've been tehre - Don't really know what it's like to have the consistent depression that won't go away, but I had this shit for like 3-4 years. It's pretty crazy. It's actually one of the things that destroyed my "perfect life" and thrust me into the community lol - tough to keep grasps on everything when you hate yourself for being incredibly successful I was suicidal about 3 years ago.
The cool part is that I've rebuilt EVERYTHING from the ground up. Still get tinges of it, but, for me, something changed, something clicked and I just don't feel it like I used to. In fact, when I got this massive raise from my company, I was expecting it to come back a little - becuase that was the first like REAL, massive success, that I'd achieved since and you know what? It didn't -I was actually able to feel gratitude and joy from the experience
And I agree completely with this kid - most people just don't really understand what it's like - you can say, "Wow, this kids a bitch"- but it's not like that... it's a legit sickness - like there is a straight up chemical imbalance in our brains, that changes the way we're able to process shit. And I tihnk EVERYONE can say that at some point, they felt sad or bummed out, but it's the craziest when you have EVERYTHING and you feel that way...
Anyway- for me, that shit seems to be long-gone.... I mean, like an addict, I'll always be VIGILENT.
But yeah - I'm not gonna lie, it is one of the most incredible feelings to be able to feel GRATITUDE and to be PROUD of who you are... I mean... I like it lol
Sometimes i view my depression as the greatest thing thats ever happened to me. It forced me to rise about the averages and out of social conditioning. It forced me to learn emotional control. It forced me to break everything down and rebuild it. It forced me to start learning everything I could get my hands on and to think for myself. Gave my personality more complexity. All this has allowed me to help several other close friends with similar situations and I one day hope to help lots of people. It brought me pretty damn close to ending everything a few times but that seems so distant. I mean my heart really REALLY feels for those struggling with depression. But I can hardly remember what it was like to be like that. It seems like a different person who had those problems.
But fack... Depression makes me so damn sad. My girls prof just took his life. That is really fucked up and should not happen. My heart goes out to anyone who feels that is the only escape from their feelings.
I am reminded of it everytime I eat less than perfect food. If I don't maintain a strong diet the reminders of feeling blah or constantly negative return. Those reminders tell me why I do everything so conciously and why I strive to maintain a healthy body and mind.
It is fucked it is so taboo in our society. I think it is one of the worst illness somone can contract and also one of the most curable. I mean some people have fucked up genes and chemical imbalances that we can't fix but I think most cases are due to diet, enviroment, their programming, etc.