Tinder- are you stalking me

Me: awww Lily youre so far away

Me: Were u stalking me and ran away

Her: :) (crying laughing emoji)

Her: Aw (name) I just went to (state)

Me: Lily! You cant run from your problems forever. The kids are looking for you, the dishes need to be washed, and I need a back massage

Her: im sorry!! ugh Ill be right there

Me: hurry up beb

Me: get your ass over to (state)

Her: Im already here dont worry

Me: totally lies

Me: If my calculations are correct your in (ocean)

Her: haha (town) rn actually

Me: ohh dayyum Im from (town) but I live in (town) during the summer

Her: I live in (town) so im still far :(

Me: ehh not really

Me: We should rob some mansions there

Her: totally down

Me: whats your # we needa start planning this heist

Me: dont just ignore me, say something loser :)

Her: I was driving lol

Her: #

Me: Hi Lily this is your partner in crime, whatcha up to snowflake

Her: hey dude on my way to eat some lava cakes how about you

Me: Girl..! those are just undercooked brownies

Me: I'm eating some dill pickle chips and chillen with some old buddies

Her: actually undercooked brownies are the best brownies and jealous

Me: Yes undercooked brownies are th ekey to my heart

Her: same omg im actually in heaven rn

I was busy so I text her the next day

Me: Sup homie. I just skiied all day im chillen by the fire being lazy

Me: whatcha up to

Next day:

Me: So much for that white christmas this year :/

Me: hopefully santa pulls through with some gifts!