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Pickup Coaching
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TheoGrey's picture
Joined: 03/30/2017

Hey guys, I've potentially got a good lay in for tomorrow, buuutttt it got weird today so I wanna see what yall think. I've messaged her on and off for a couple weeks.

me: Success! Let's celebrate by fighting each other with pillowcases full of flowers​

her: Haha! You sure? You WILL lose, you know.*tounge emoji*

me: The only way that happens is if I let you win, but we can play this out and see what happens

her:Highly doubt that. I can be extra competitive

Her: Btw, my name is *name*. What's yours? ​

me: Hopefully you don't stick to your namesake ;) I'm TheoGrey <-- she's got a jewish name that means angel or holly or something

her: TheoGrey

me: That's the name. So what are you getting your paws into tonight tiger?​

her: Thee holy name. ​

her: don't have solid plans yet, you?

me: It may be holy, but there's a naughty little devil in me *devil emoji*

me: headed to see a show at *bar*. You're welcome to come

her: Haha I wouldn't be surprised. Oh, nice! You going to be with friends? ​

me: Nah I met one of the band members at a party last week and they invited me​

*we talk logistics and such, she says she might show up if she can*

me: I'm headed there at 7:45

her: hmm.. thinking about it :)

me: *got to the show and texted her an hour in* You should text me when you get here *wink*

her: Doesn't look like I'm going to make it.. ​

me: Dang, I was just telling the bartender how much trouble we were gonna be​

her:Haha good one ​

her: How's it going there? Maybe I'll stop by later if you're still there ​

me: The bands are pretty great, definitely Williamsburg lol​

her:Haha elaborate please​

10ish pm me: Nah I'm busy watching the bands. You said you're adventurous, why don't you come find out for yourself? *smirk* <-- getting tired of her shit

11:49pm her: Did you leave yet? ​

me: Yeah the show got out, still looking to adventure?​

12:15am her: Where r u​

me: *other bar* about to make like a baby and head out

2:35am (bitch I'm asleep lol) her: Maybe next time. I just got home. So I can go now but I'm assuming you're not there anymore. ​

1pm me: You missed out last night Rainbow Brite, what were you doing? Punching kittens?

her: Went out to a bar. Was planning on coming to you after but ended up being out really late driving around and listening to music.

me: Hmmmm pretty sure I can only forgive you for that if you managed to get Avril Lavigne in that montage

her: Haha which songs of Avril do you like? ​

me: Just the one that everybody knows

her: ???


next day 7:30pm me: What's up troublemaker?

her: That video was great lol ​

her: In jersey for the next couple of days with family. ​

her: How's work for you?

me: Work was so good I passed out and went straight to stripper land ​

me: *deam land I mean *wink*

next day 7:10pm me: I'm pregnant with your child​

her: Lol wtf?? ​

me: I had the same reaction! The christians are gonna have a hard time when this gets out​ <--- bad joke about male pregnancy and birth lol

me: I expect child support if you're not going to help me raise this sexy mf *wink*

her: I am sooo confused

me: It's all good, single dads are sexy (I'm messing with you ya dork *wink*)

five days later her: Hehe ​They are really sexy. ​

Didn't see her message, I was bored, and just wanted someone to chat with really, I was in a bad mood. me:Hey I need your help with the child right away​

her: Haha ok where am I headed?​ <-- fuck coulda sealed the deal right there but I really wasn't feeling sex or anything. I was in a horrible mood

me:Well we're in Boston right now so drive fast​ <-- my lie for getting out of it

her: When are you returning?

me: tomorrow night

her: *eyeroll emoji*

me: Wow what?

her: That doesn't mean wow

her: It's more like ugh

me: ugh what?

me: ugh you just can't wait? *wink*

next day: her: Pretty much :)

a week passes (brings us to today) me: Hey sassy muffin, how's your Tuesday treating you?

her: He's not being very nice to me.

me:Lemme at him I'll beat him up and give you my 100% cure-all treatment for asshole tuesdays

her: That sounds like a great plan. I'm waiting to be cured

7:00pm me: Well sassy muffin I think we ought to schedule a mandatory Dr's appointment this week. Should I pencil you in for Wednesday or Friday? <-- fuk accidentally used the same nickname

8:00pm (not sure why I was so impatient) me: Gurl I can't cure you if your dead. Did Tuesday kill you?

her: Tomorrow night

me: You're penciled in. You've got to verify your appt via text *drops number*

This is probably the longest I've messaged a chick within the dating app. Also we've hand good interactions but I also think they're weird. Well, at the very least weird after the Boston thing (where she wanted to get fucked so badly) and week of silence.

I'm not sure how to follow up tomorrow? Probably just a text with the perscription or something

me: Hey your prescription of drinks, flower pillowcase fights, a Avril Lavigne jam sesh, and a close observation by Dr.*TheoGrey/Funny dr nickname) will be ready at 8:00pm tonight at *cool bar down the road*

Or something more clever if it pops into my head.