FR: Threesome hunting with a girlfriend

This is a report I put up close to three years ago that details a few nights of threesome hunting I did with this crazy, beautiful girl I was dating at the time.  She’s definitely someone I miss from my Kentucky days.  Definitely a good read and I’ll make more comments at the end. I wrote in new comments using (  ).

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A few nights ago I went out with the superhottie I was banging, to find another girl to take home with us. While I took a shower she made the bed, emptied the trash and cleaned up my kitchen, and picked up around the living room. She said that the kind of girl she’d want to take home would appreciate a tidy looking place.. ok.  (Girls are SO weird sometimes.  Would a new girl really be thinking about the tidiness of the place?)

She drove on the way there, and I very much regretted this. She’s a 5’4″ stick of dynamite but her SUV is HUGE.  It’s a damn tank- imagine looking over at the truck driving next to you and seeing an 8 year old kid driving.. that’s how ludicrous this picture was.  And she was a terrible driver.  She would stop behind cars that were blocking her lane while there was an entire empty lane on the left. So I’d tell her to move over and pass it up. Then she’d bowl her way into the other lane; at one point she almost hit a semi. At this point I fuckin’ lost it and started yelling at her, in fact I became the back-seat driver from hell. The thought of dying just didn’t appeal to me.

I usually drive on any trips into the city, but she’d never seen me drunk and out of control- it has definitely been awhile- and so I took a couple shots before our trip. I know I’m a big pussy- it used to be different. Anyways we get there without dying and I have another shot as soon as I get there, and then a beer. I already have the hottest girl in the place with me, we’re looking for another girl, I’m drunk at this point, and the fun begins.

Anyways most of the night I’m just a complete bastard.

So I’m walkin’ around with her behind me, she’s wearing these ‘lil pants that are kinda loose around her waist and so I keep throwing my hand down the front of them and “dragging” her along by hooking my finger up inside her.  Maybe not the classiest thing to do, but it was fun and super intimate.  Regardless she’d grab my hand and pull it out after a second.  I also take her hand and smack girls’ asses with it. Then when they turn around all they see is her. Loads of fun..

There is this one very beautiful looking filipino/white/nepalian lookin’ girl and I take my girl’s hand and smack her ass with it. She turns around and my girl gives her a big smile. She has absolutely no idea how to take it. She looks like a dumb cow actually.

Anyways I see this other seriously hot asian girl with green contacts in.  Those contacts seriously grab my attention.  My girl has gone off somewhere and I walk up to her and say something I have no idea. So we start talking, then I tell her that I’m here with a girl and we’re looking to pick up another girl. She’s definitely listening but does not in any way project that she’s into threesomes. Then I tell her my girl has gone off and gotten herself lost, and (as I lean in a little closer) that I’d hate to have to find a brand new girl. She giggles and doesn’t look at me, and I can tell she’s vulnerable to the caveman, but there’s an edge to her, I know I could get her but I don’t have the time. Then I see my girl watching me, so I walk over to her. She calls me a slut- it’s awesome.

We walk around some more and somewhere in there I grab her hand and smack the filipino/white girl’s ass again, she turns around, sees us and then gets the most flustered look on her face- it’s so damn funny, and then scampers off.

We start to pass “greencontacts” again, so I stop and let Mel pass me and as she does, I tap the girl on the shoulder. So she turns around and my girl is directly in front of her and is forced to say hi. Greencontacts doesn’t know I’m there at this point..

So I get to watch two hot chicks, who don’t know each other, meet- and it was a trip. Absolutely no bitch-shield, no resistance. Greencontacts is immediately very nice and I can tell wants to be friends immediately. Dammit hot chicks have it easy, in everything. Then I grab greencontacts and say something to her, she looks at me and then looks back at my girl and I can see the realization hit her that this is the girl that’s with me, that’s looking for another girl. She gets kinda shy.. 😀

So I take off for a bit on my own and see two chicks together that I’d met separately.. I didn’t know they knew each other. Anyways I say hello to the one, the other one doesn’t turn around to look at me. Then I grab her and turn her around, and say hi and she recognizes me. So we talk for a bit, flirty blah blah, and then there’s a pause, and I say “So I mean.. do you two ever actually get laid??” The first one laughs her ass off but the second one is dumbfounded, “Wait you don’t think we can PULL DICK!” I laugh, ‘cuz seriously, that shit’s just funny. And then I say, “Well yeah sure.. but only the little ones, like this..” And I make the shape of a 1 inch square. She gets frustrated with me and tells her friend that she just can’t stick around and she storms off. She wants me. I’m not just saying that either, she wants me. Anyways her friend hangs out and gives me the signals but she’s somewhat boring and though she’s attractive, I really don’t think my girl would be into an older woman (both the chicks are about 35, HB7.5). So I take off and find girlie, who calls me a slut again.

Anyways she gets drunk too and says she’ll pay for a hotel room.. ok. So we jump in a taxi after she deems all the girls in the bar unworthy because they’re too fat, slobby, or from Kentucky- which pretty much takes care of everybody. She also does not like asian girls- this is hard for me to believe because I dig them.  (I seriously should have just forced the issue, or lead her more into being cool with an asian girl being in the mix.)

During the taxi ride she’s the biggest pain in the ass, trying to tell the taxi driver what to do at the same time I’m giving the guy directions.  She forgets when she’s drunk I’m in charge and just becomes uncontrollable. Actually fuck, she’s a pain in the ass when she’s sober too. So we stop off somewhere so she can buy beer and come to find out she’s lost her debit card, so not only no beer for her but I have to pay for everything until she can withdraw money..

20 dollar cab ride, 65 dollar room, and she’s drunk out of control. I’m pissed. Anyways she’s still sitting in the cab after we pull up to the hotel, I want to go pay for the room and she’s talking on her phone. I yell at her to get out of the cab ‘cuz this is the way the dude makes his living- he won’t say a thing to her because he’s scared of her. So she gets out, I pay for the room and start walking towards it. I stalk towards our room and leave her ass behind.. No sex for her tonight. Little girls must be punished.

Next morning I wake up and see her beautiful tanned body laid out next to me in little black panties. I forgive her. Hot sex ensues.

So the next night she calls me up wanting to go out again. I’m not so sure I want to do the same merry-go-round all over again. But then she says her friend Bonnie wants to go with us. Ok…

Two lines popped into my head I realize I want to use that night with her friend.. to set the frame for later and to amp things up. (This is my first attempts at calibrating threesomes.  Nowadays this stuff is much easier and basically automatic.  Back in this time however I’m completely inexperienced and simply being balls to the way and learning calibration.  You can see I’m using “lines” to help set the threesome vibe)  I’ve never hung out with her friend before but she’s cute and I see a threesome coming. My girl has already said she would never do it with this girl because they’re friends and she doesn’t see her like that but at this point I really don’t care.

Anyways I come out of the shower and they’re both facing away from me in my kitchen. I get nervous and don’t deliver..

Wow.. am I actually going to lose my nerve with the first line? Hell no.. (Stage fright in my own house.  I knew at that moment I was feeling what newbies feel when they are too afraid to talk to a girl.  It was a superbly foreign feeling and I almost enjoyed it.)

So I go back into my bathroom and do a couple things, come back out they’re both sitting in my living room, I walk into the room a little bit, kind of announcing my presence, and say, “Oh good you brought Bonnie. I haven’t had two girls go down on me together in a while..” (Somewhat “in your face” with introducing the idea of a threesome, but it was ballsy and therefore attractive.)

The new girl immediately looks to my girl and laughs. She has accepted that this is who I am and is looking to her for what to do next. Mel laughs real quick, says “Yeah ok..” and then starts talking about something else.  Frame controlling the situation with ease.

Anyways I come back in and Mel asks me if I’m drinking, I tell her no. Apparently her friend has had bad experiences with guys drinking and driving. I tell her “I understand.. She needs me to build trust and comfort so she trusts me driving.. Does she need to be tucked in..? Well you girls might as well check out my bed, you’ll both be sleeping in it later” Second line delivered lol.

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So I come back into the room later and I hear her friend talking about giving somebody discounts where she works. I chime in, “ Discounts..? Ohh.. I thought you said domeshots!”  (Off the cuff and bad ass)

Anyways I’m at my computer putting in a few quick notes on the night so far so I can remember it for later, my girl comes in and she’s just looking gorgeous in her little leopard skirt. I tell her this, and she says aww, how sweet.  It’s semi-dismissive of my compliment.  So I grab her, swat her ass and push her out of my room, “Now get out of here.. you’re not welcome here.” A little push/pull never hurt anyone.. (When I saw how she received my compliment I knew I needed to retake the situation.  I’m not saying don’t compliment girls, but when they act dismissive of it you might need to remedy it.)

So we get into my car and I make my girl sit in the backseat because I’m an asshole, and let the new girl sit up front lol. I pick some mardi gras beads off the floor and throw them to the girls. Mel asks if I want to see their tits now (shit test- which I ignore), I tell her “That’s ok.. I’ll see’em later.”

As I’m pulling out of my driveway I look over at her friend and yell at her, ” Bonnie..! Quit grabbing my dick!” They laugh.  (This is a good dynamic for a threesome.  Seed the idea of it happening in a fun way, it makes it easier for it to happen later because it’s already been “happening” the whole time, and the humor relieves potential awkwardness or tension.  It also shows the girls you know how to manage their feelings even in potentially vulnerable situations like a threesome.)

We’re talking a lot throughout the car ride, I explain to the new girl how much of a brat Mel(my girl) had been the night before and how I’d punished her for it. I’m being a suave bitch the whole time but I forget most of what we talked about. Anyways I notice that the new girl is pretty quiet through the ride, Mel says it’s because this is how she usually starts out.  (Basically it was up to me to carry the vibe.  If I’d put her in the backseat she probably would have been uncomfortable, putting her in the front seat with me forced her to be engaged in the interaction)

I stop off for some chicken on the way like I usually do. As I come away from the freezer with my energy drink I see this hot ass black girl all dressed up walking away from the bathroom. She’s trailing about 5 ft. of toilet paper. Nice.. So I call her to “Sweety..” She doesn’t respond. I say “Girlie!” And she looks at me.. I point down to the floor and tell her she’s made a friend.. So she looks down and just kinda laughs, not embarrassed at all.  (B.S. she was probably super embarrassed just not showing it)

Anyways we’re standing in line and she’s behind me. She’s a fine specimen but isn’t in a talkative mood. But my motto is “Go big or go home.”  So I turn back to her and say “So uhh, that was a lot of toilet paper… Looks like you had a good time in there.” She giggles but refuses to look into my eyes as she says, “Yeah.. giggle.. actually I did.” Then she moves so she’s standing closer to another guy in line who’s looking away from us. And I realize this is her boyfriend! And she’s appealing to him for help and he’s not coming through for her. I pay for my stuff and leave. I look back inside and she’s shifted her body language away from that guy and now they look like strangers.. I think I’d been fooled. (Poor girl was super embarrassed and couldn’t talk to the guy who’d caught her trailing a roll of toilet paper.  Very calibrated of her to be able use her body language to make it seem like she’s with the dude in line.)

Anyways we arrive in Louisville and new girl remarks that she likes the song, “Kick it” by Akon, playing on the radio.  So I launch into a little role-playing, pretending to be a guy trying to get her to go home with me, in a raspy voice. Then I pretend I’m her and I ask in a squeaky voice if “he” has any Taebo videos.. Then I go back into Mr. Raspy and sing the lines, “So we can kick it like Taebo.. and I can bend you over.” They’re busting up and at this point I realize I’ve hooked her friend. I probably could have fucked her right on the spot, hard to do when I’m driving though.  (It’s one of those moments when you know a girl is ready to be fucked on the spot and there’s just nothing you can do about it)

Anyways the first club blows and we decide to leave.  I tell the girls I’m going to go get the car and to sit tight. It’s cold outside. So I bring the car around and they rush their sweet little asses inside it.

At the next club we’re dancing and having a good time, then go and grab a table. I grab the new girl’s hand and place it on my dick, she let’s it stay and then I take Mel’s hand and put it on my dick as well. They both guffaw, take their hands away, and giggle. Later on they tell me how sweet I am. I’m like.. what the hell? I’m not sweet. Mel explains that they thought it was so nice that I went and got the car. I’d been an asshole the whole night, but coming from a place of high value, any little nice thing I did was seen as super sweet. I’ll remember this.. (Important lesson)

Anyways I take the friend out on the dance floor and she’s having a good time being ‘Lil Miss Naughty. I’m looking around for Mel and I realize that the new girl might perceive this as me trying to make sure Mel doesn’t see me doing something I shouldn’t be doing. Bullshit. I grab her hips and sink in.

Later on I come up behind Mel at the bar and she tells me she wishes they’d play more hip hop. I grab her hips and bounce my dick off her ass twice, “Hip.. hop.” She replies by bouncing her little booty off me really quick and saying, “Hippety hippety hippety hop..” Haha..

Anyways I’m sitting down with Mel at the table and she turns to me and says, “So I talked to Bonnie and it’s not going to happen. She’s my friend and I just can’t do something like that with her.”  Well that’s the end of that. She’s a super alpha girl and will definitely veto something if she’s not feeling it.  I didn’t really mind and I’d already known it would have been super weird for both of them later.  Still I had to figure out what kind of progress I’d made.  Talking to her later about it we both agreed that it would have gone down if she hadn’t sunk it. I ask her if maybe I’d gone about it more subtly, it would have worked. She says maybe but that it would have been bad. I tell her that I wasn’t going to force it because from the beginning I thought she might not feel right about it. She tells me she’ll make it up to me.

(I think the main hindrance is that the humor and dialogue I’m using is of a guy TRYING to have a threesome.. not of a dude who HAS threesomes.  Big fucking difference.  The one is a chiller more relaxed vibe, the other is semi-tryhard and in your face.  Plus I feel if I’d have been more relaxed about it, I could have shaped a different outcome of having a threesome in both of their minds.  By being blunt and try-hard about it, I was projecting that I wasn’t experienced with threesomes and that THEY would have to figure out for themselves what would happen afterwards.  That’s a killer for anything involving sex in a girl’s mind, whether it be having sex the same night she met a guy out with friends who saw, or a threesome)

So the next night we go to a strip club. It takes all of about 5 seconds to find a girl. One of the strippers walks up to us and immediately has a thing for Mel. (No surprise there)  She tells us that she likes pussy. I tell her that’s interesting because Mel likes pussy too. Mel laughs and the stripper goes “Oohhhh..” The girl is cute but definitely not something I’d hit on. She’s probably a 6.5. When she gets on stage and dances she goes to a 7. And when she does her slow little 69 seduction with another stripper she goes to a 7.5. So basically it’s on, she’s succeeded in raising my buying temperature haha.

Anyways the girl tells Mel that she wants to give me a lapdance, that she’ll even pay for it. So she takes me in the back and starts dancing for me. Nice. I’m liking her little body grinding on me. Then she does this upside-down acrobatic move, and I get a whiff of her vagina. Oh my shit. The girl smells. As soon as the song ends I’m up out of my chair. “Is that it..?“, to let her know I’m out.   She says, somewhat surprised.. “Yeah that’s it!” So I start to walk away and she says “Well how ’bout a tip..” I turn back to her, pause.. grab her head and pull her in, “... nope.” And I walk away. I hear her getting mad but I keep walking.

So apparently she goes to my girl all emotional and tells her she doesn’t understand why she’s with me ‘cuz I’m such an asshole. Mel told me she wanted to tell her that’s exactly why she’s with me, haha. Anyways the girl gets drunk and acts like an ass on stage. I take Mel home and bury it in her sweet buns..

The next day FB texts me saying “How come every gay guy I see reminds me of you..” I reply, “Easy.. ‘cuz you want him and you know you can’t have him.”  (This girl taught me some ridiculous text game.  She’d engage me over text with these ridiculous accusatory texts that I HAD to answer.  Her first curveball text was “Well call me later in the week if you want to hang out.  Otherwise I’ll just assume yer gay!”)

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All these were my first attempts at calibrating threesomes to something I could replicate and therefore control.  It was new territory but definitely not outside my range.  Nowadays all this is automatic and by being more chill about it, I take the pressure off their minds of having a threesome and wondering how they’ll feel about it later.