Emotional Expression -- Through voice, body language, and eye contact
This feels amazing.
For as long as I can remember Ive been a jaded asshole who would simultaneously "wear my emotions on my sleeve" while often relying on sarcasm to communicate and having a "dry" sense of humor. So basically I was lacking in emotional control and at the same time kept genuine emotions bottled up. Those of you who know what I'm talking about here can imagine how shitty it was to live like this. [Nota bene, sarcasm is weak. It is a passive-aggressive pussy way of communicating indirectly. ]
I'm at what I feel like is the end of the fourth stage of progress in this area of communicating emotionally, congruently, and authentically through my word choice, voice, body language, and eye contact:
Stage 1: Weak sarcastic asshole
Stage 2: Learning how to express myself congruently with emotion
Stage 3: Using what I've learned to try to get people to react a certain way
Stage 4: Expressing my emotions authentically without feeling like I'm trying to get a reaction from people
Stage 5: Authentic expression plus accepting full responsibility for how my expression and actions affect all other people around me
I'm on the cusp of that fifth and final stage. My issue is that I've always been somewhat of a "lost boy" who doesn't want to grow up--who wants to be selfish forever. I believe now that to become a fully self-actualized man I must move past that and accept all obligations of being a leader--an "alpha." Up until very recently I've wanted all of the benefits with none of the obligations. It doesn't work that way. The benefits and obligations are inextricably bound together.
Oh yeah. So the reason why I started writing this post is that authentic expression as a way of being feels so much better than being stifled or passive aggressive. It is fucking amazing. When you simply let go, but in a way that is coming from a place of strength and emotional control. With a few exceptions I pretty much don't have a filter. But I've earned it because I'm present and in control of my emotions.
There are situations, specifically at work or with my grandmother, when I must play a role and in that case the filter is definitely "on" but I am still as authenitic as possible within the context of the role.
Yes and Yes
But also: Can't rush through this sort of thing. Gotta embrace that time when you don't give a fuck about the outcome of your expressing yourself and just let shit fly off the handle a bit..
Personally, I'm dabbling in #5 but spend most of my time in #4 and sometimes even the lower ones but yeah mostly #4 and recently I've dabbled in #5. Good shit bro
Your last two posts have been ON POINT dude.
You hit the nail on the head with what differentiates #4 from #5- it's a matter of selfishness and accepting resonsibilty for your actions.
I used my powers for non-pickup purposes last night. I was out with my buddy and his wife and they are going through something together that requires him to be a rock solid man at all times and never, ever lose his emotional control when she's upset or bitchy.
At one point he started reactively arguing with her when she was being bitchy and in my head I was like, "Oh shit, if this keeps up they're going to have a nasty trainwreck on their hands." I pulled them both aside separately and talked to them. I basically told him that its time to grow up and be a fucking oak tree for her. We'll see if it stuck, but he was on the verge of tears when I stopped speaking.