Maverick: What I learned from moving out for 3 weeks.
I want to share something I see as valuable for lads 18-30 yrs old. I do not earn enough money to move out permanently, But my cousin who is an investment banker was called for an emergency business trip to london for a few weeks. He offered me to live in his residence (condo - 10 mins from CBD), and said I can live but must pay HALF the rent. I was like ok, this is an opportunity to test the waters since I live in the most expensive city in the world (top 3) AND i could experience what its like not travelling 2 hrs a day for university, instead 40 mins per day.
I gamed my ass off, day game and night game when I could, despite having a fuck load of assignments and just stress in general, but I did not pull. As a result it made me realise the following.
1. When you move out you have this feeling as if the world is yours or the world is a playground. It definitely amplifies your self confidence and masculinity. You become a CEO of your own life, managing your studies or work and your general duties.
2. If you still live with family, do not blame your family that you are unable to pull or attract women. I had the opportunity to pull, I was close but I didn't because of other deficiencies in my life which need to be addressed. In fact, having my own place for 3 weeks made me even more needy. The ability to attract women is a concoction of persona, lifestyle and skill/career. Just because you now have your pad doesnt mean shit.
3. You don't need things as much as you think you do - "Availability Bias". As soon as I was given the keys of my house, I packed with 3 shirts, 2 pants, 2 jackets and shoes, and amenities. That shit lasted for a month. I went to uni with those clothes and clubs. You do not need all this fucking shit. Put yourself in a position where you only keep what you need. I feel so much more resourceful and efficient now.
4. I hate to say this, but your family can do more damage to your sub-conscious mind than you think.
5. Moving out is now officially a goal. IT HAS TO HAPPEN. If you are purposely dependent on your parents or have chosen the path of comfort you have lost the game. You're done. I have realised the quality of your "game" is representative of the accumulation of choices you make in life. If you missed a gym session, you will suck, If you did not give 100% in that project you will suck. If you decided to go for the can of coke instead of water (if you have health goals), you will fuck up. It is the power of the sub conscious mind.
These are 5 factors that hit me right in the face.
I hope this post did not waste any of your time and added some value.
Lol, yes. Moving out of your parents house is not an option.
Amazing post and moving out on your own is not negotiable to be a boss.
You got to make it happen.
Yes moving out is a necessity. Your parents and family keep you in a perma-beta state.
4. is what i'm gonna write a best-seller book on in the future.
Alright, look guys. I want to make this very fucking clear because there are way too many people out there who don't seem to understand themselves that well. You got to understand what's motivating you.
Continuing to live with your parents is a manifestation of your inner desire to not take responsibility - not wanting to take ownership of your own life.
Living with your parents allows you to physically live out your internal "Mother//Father" complex. There's no mindfulness needed. Life is taken care of you within the system that is your family structure.
When I say "system" I simply mean the wayyou have learned to perceive and internalize the dynamic between your mother, father and yourself. You don't have to make any decisions - because it's all been pre-defined within this "system" that's played out your whole life. The longer you stay at home, the more that "system" takes hold of your inner psychology and dictates the way you behave.
I mean fuck, if it's not kept in check - this shit can start to dictate how you respond to life. The subconscious part of yourself starts to say, "Well should I respond like my father would?", "Should I respond like my mother would".... and as you become more and more mindful, you'll notice that rabbit hold just goes deep as fuck... it's really not important//necessary, or even maybe that helpful to go down that path- instead just practice mindfulness.
Because that's the key - all of It stems from a lack of mindfulness - if you are mindful, you will come to see these dynamics playing out, literally like a damn movie in your mind. They will be conscious and you will easily notice and observe them and they will lose control. Because here's the key in all of this - you need to be asking yourself, "WHERE AM I IN THIS?!". WHERE. THE. FUCK. AM. I?!
You are who you are when you are mindful.
When you act mindlessley you are nowhere. You are nothing. You are simply a monkey scared shitless of the responsibilty and ownership of being yourself in a world that is increasingly dictating you behave in automated, systematic ways governed by rules.
In this war for yourself though, you have already drawn your weapon and started marching towards the battlefield, with mindfulness your tool of destruction - and that's something to be excited about. The journey of mindfulness has already begun for you - it began the second you decided to write this post - the second you realized there was even something to write about. Don't back down from that. Continue on your journey of mindfulness and just continue to notice - that's all.
There's a lot of younger guys on here, so sometimes I gotta throw down some heavy shit like this and hope someone sees it, reads it and gets it.
Do not let the rules//structures//systems of your family dyanmic rule the way you interact with yourself and the world as you move forward in life. Be mindful, and choose to be your own person by being more flexible than that - let yourself flow back and forth on the spectrum.
Yes. The first step of this life-long jouryney is moving the fuck out. So what are you waiting for...
Glory by Pot/flower
Another thing no help from the state and no welfare.
Extreme self responsability will shape you like nothing else.