Reputation
As far as I know I've always had a reputation as being a "ladies man". In my early 20's I was fine with it, I was getting laid, it was working for me and I actually kind of liked it. I got used to not giving a shit about my reputation. In my mid to late 20's I hit a deep slump in my attitude, confidence and general self esteem. I became low value. What I found is that my kind of cool reputation for being a guy that loves girls and who girls love became a dark, lousy, negative version of itself. Jerk, user, womanizer. I told myself I didn't give a shit because I was used to feeling that way but the truth is it mattered. As the pretty well rounded, secure, dominant, succesful businessperson I am now I must say reputation is definitely important. It's a big part of why I can't really fail at this point. There are enough people out there who know what kind of man I am that even if all my businesses flopped, there are jobs out there if I need them. The job thing is just one example. This translates to girls and really everything. Now, I don't spent any amount of time actively managing my reputation but I am aware of it. I care. What it boils down to for me is I manage my reputation by being self aware. If I'm ok with who and what I am and I act accordingly I find my reputation tends to sort itself out. If I care about my rep I think it helps me to develop empathy, it makes me more aware of what people think of me. Now that I think about it, I think it has a real close correlation with empathy.
What do you guys think of this?
I'm in business school so having a good reputation seems important to me aswell...
There doesn't have to be a line between getting a lot of girls and being a jerk/womanizer.
Just pull a ton and be chill/ fair with the girls, now your reputation is good.
If you make every girl feel like she got sleezeballed by you then you need to change your game because that's noob bro.
EDIT: Obvi you need to hit the gym more too because someone who lifts a lot wouldn't make this thread to start. And everyone knows that if you are swoll people are much more likely to close the deal with you. Its all good though, you are in business school and thats bad ass & you are probably just stressing about shit that don't exist so just chill out and get swole.
EDIT # 2:
Lil Wayne said it the best in his deposition. Don't worry or even try to articulate an "image" or "reputation" for yourself. You are you. Focus on keeping it real with people and being a good guy gregg and strike when its time to pull out the strealth python.
calm down there swollguy lol
Hey Jack.Ruby this is a funny topic because a lot of us, including myself, need to actively work on not giving a fuck about our reputation. Were you always very internally validated to begin with?
To me its a strategic thing rather than caring about other peoples opinion.
To me its a strategic thing rather than caring about other peoples opinion.
Damn that's good I never looked at it from that angle. Thanks cholo!
I wrote this at a time when I was still freshly hashing some of these ideas out. Its a wordy and hard to follow way of making a flimsy point. The real difference is conviction. I started out enjoying having sex with a lot of women, for a while I was congruent with it. Some people didn't like it but that was me-doing-me and I was gonna do it anyway so I had a solid reputation, to the irritation of a butthurt few.
Brilliant
"Be like Teflon"
By conviction, do you mean a strong sense of reality? congruency?
I wrote this at a time when I was still freshly hashing some of these ideas out. Its a wordy and hard to follow way of making a flimsy point. The real difference is conviction. I started out enjoying having sex with a lot of women, for a while I was congruent with it. Some people didn't like it but that was me-doing-me and I was gonna do it anyway so I had a solid reputation, to the irritation of a butthurt few.“Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever the fuck you were gonna do anyway.”― Robert Downey Jr.Having the reputation of a man with conviction will supersede a shitload of other petty little reputation problems. Despite who you are inside and what flaws may reside, conviction is something that must be respected. Someone or something must've shamed me or somehow caused me to become insecure (ages ago), basically I fell victim to social pressure and it caused my conviction to fail. This left me wide open to criticism, judgement, shaming or whatever else people wanted to throw at me. I didn't have the self-assured authority to stand behind who I was. Take a look at your thoughts, words, actions; measuring them against your values, lining them up with your goals and standing behind them, you will have the reputation you need“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”-Bernard M BaruchThat being said, you can absolutely manipulate and leverage your reputation strategically. Its just a chess game combining self-awareness, situational and social awareness, and an ability to read people (which I may have mis-labeled as empathy in my prior post). This is just the ego acting as an avatar for your human experience, don't identify with it or your reputation, in the bigger game they're pawns
I get what you are saying. You can take any situation you are in in life and make you "image" based on that. Its all how you choose to frame it. You can make many different characters out of the same attributes.
My point is that the best way to make the best character is to not overthink it. Just focus on actions and let the reactions of others take its place.
Like Tony Stark he just buys waspy shit and lets other people worry about constructing an image for himself.
Your image will always be good as long as you are satisfied with yourself. No one can take that away or change that for you.
And spiderman dude before you post remind yourself that you are 18 and have a lot to learn.
Jack.Ruby wrote:
I wrote this at a time when I was still freshly hashing some of these ideas out. Its a wordy and hard to follow way of making a flimsy point. The real difference is conviction. I started out enjoying having sex with a lot of women, for a while I was congruent with it. Some people didn't like it but that was me-doing-me and I was gonna do it anyway so I had a solid reputation, to the irritation of a butthurt few.“Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever the fuck you were gonna do anyway.”― Robert Downey Jr.Having the reputation of a man with conviction will supersede a shitload of other petty little reputation problems. Despite who you are inside and what flaws may reside, conviction is something that must be respected. Someone or something must've shamed me or somehow caused me to become insecure (ages ago), basically I fell victim to social pressure and it caused my conviction to fail. This left me wide open to criticism, judgement, shaming or whatever else people wanted to throw at me. I didn't have the self-assured authority to stand behind who I was. Take a look at your thoughts, words, actions; measuring them against your values, lining them up with your goals and standing behind them, you will have the reputation you need“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”-Bernard M BaruchThat being said, you can absolutely manipulate and leverage your reputation strategically. Its just a chess game combining self-awareness, situational and social awareness, and an ability to read people (which I may have mis-labeled as empathy in my prior post). This is just the ego acting as an avatar for your human experience, don't identify with it or your reputation, in the bigger game they're pawns
And spiderman dude before you post remind yourself that you are 18 and have a lot to learn.
You're the one spitting out nonsensical bullshit. Thats not the way this forum works.