Too late to reverse frame? amog/homo game here
I was just going to figure this shit out on my own but then I remembered... fucking manwhore is, at least pubically, the badass of all badasses when it comes to this shit. I'd be stupid not to post it here. I started this new job almost six months ago. New guys and ESPECIALLY guys who got in the backdoor (like me) get treated like shit. By the old farts its pretty standard practice. The younger guys always rough up the new guys but its not nearly as mean. Just like older brother type shit. No different than me and the crew I worked with. But recently me and one guy started working with a bunch of guys in other companies. The guy from my crew is pretty cool. Real smart but just a huge underachiever. - I mean.. None of them are really badasses. At least not in the way I want to be.. There are a few evil stifler types. - This dude is pretty chill, strong opinions but underneath I smell weakness. He is seeking constant approval. He would be like the "cool" highschool kid who gets validation from all his chode friends and small social circle... if that makes any sense LMAO. He comes off as confident but its not really internal.
Its cool when he teases me and gives me shit. I don't really care. Its big bro type shit. That's a frame I gave into when I came to this new job unfortunatley. Obviously I didn't have to accept that frame and know how I could've done it better but here we are.
But working with these new guys my superior became buds with this evil sitfler character. He also gives me shit. More older brother stuff. We've been "real" enough to know hes just messing around. I throw shit back at him as well.
None of those frames a particularly like but I mean.. a few months deep, not much I can do now is there?
Just this week though some of the younger guys from that crew started fucking with me. I didn't react at all.. I power of now-ed that shit. But I need to squash it before that starts up. The one guy is some kid, a new guy like me who is trying to jab me but like embarassingly. I usually just stare and ignore. If he does it again I'm going to have to tool him. That'll be easy.
I'm more wondering about the other frames. They may be too deep seeded now. One on one I can make some leeway. But just like in game if a girl and her group of friends think your a chode or unsexy worthy your kinda fucked from your first impression unless you can overcome that and the opinion of all her friends and the social pressure, etc,etc.
Thoughts? Either way typing this shit out is giving me some perspective on whats going on inside my head
This is all just a matter of vocal projection, emotional projection, and the inner control necessary to stay on the mental track of tooling them instead. It doesn't matter what they say, it just matters you say something back with some verve.
I see exactly what your saying with vocal and emotional projection and internal state. But why do you have to tool them back, can't you just diffuse it entirely? Or is tooling them back the real only way to earn respect and eventually stop the problem all together while diffusing or defending is just cycling the problem?
One of the younger guys (my age and experience) with weak vocal projection started joining in with the others. I never talked to him, just see him around a bunch. The next time he said something I just turned to a third party guy who I'm cool with and said "This guy is trying to tool me and I don't even know who the fuck he is." That pretty well stopped anything from him, even today he started to ask him rapport building questions. I answered a bit but blew him off and didn't really give him the time of day. Fuck him.
You're building it into something more complicated (and scarier) than it actually is