7 Lessons From 67 Days of Meditation

So recently I completed a goal of meditating for 67 days straight because science wiz’s say that it takes this long to form a habit. The 3 week or 30 day benchmark that’s touted around is a fucking lie. If you want behaviors to become innate, you’ll have to perform them consistently anywhere from 2-8 months. The good news is, even if you miss a day here and there, it doesn’t prevent the mental formations from solidifying. It’s consistency in the long term over short bursts fellas.

I wanted to share some powerful, relevant, and applicable lessons from my meditation streak. First and foremost, I totally skimped this part for years and absolutely have been kicking myself for it. I did Eckhart Tolle on audio for about 20min a day years ago and while it took me to a certain level and taught me basic concepts on self-awareness, it never helped me with the physiological control that’s required for cold approaching or intense negotiations.
That isn’t to knock Tolle off his dharma statue, he absolutely will help and has helped many guys become more intimate with women ;D

What I mean is that it isn’t enough to just listen to him. You need to take control of your physiology on a daily, moment by moment basis. For me, I had to first discover what that meant and sitting meditation provided the best solution. See sitting down and breathing distilled the process for me so I could later elevate myself to more advanced levels of presence work. It’s the basics. You sit down, relax, stay still, and place your focus onto your breath and away from the mental chatter that plays on repeat. It’s easier to do this than listen to Tolle because with the audiobook on repeat, you have to process his Hobgoblin ways, absorb it and comprehend it ALL while trying to keep attention within. It’s a more complex task than strictly focusing on the breath, especially for a newbie. Point is, I was able to isolate breath control and hone that part in before taking a more active approach to presence work.

What I learned follows below…

1)Meditation is learning to reside in the present moment. This means the past and future are irrelevant. They are only thought upon when necessary and only when necessary. At any other point in time, they should be disregarded. In the shower thinking about what you said in the 4th grade that embarrassed you? Disregard. Looking back upon how you shit the bed at work and your boss was mad at you? Disregard. Spinning the analytical hamster wheel on all the ways you’ll improve in the future? Disregard. You need to scrubadubdub right now gents. Get that loofa and Nubian African body soap and step out smelling like the plains of a Nairobi safari with a hint of department store glamour. That’s manly musk.
Instead, always keep attention within your internal anchor (your breath) as it’s the stability against the unpredictability and chaotic nature of life, work, and sexy chicks. All three will throw wild shit tests, problems and accusations at you and it’s the daily practice of presence that allows you to go bob and weave and proactively handle anything and everything. This is groundedness, this is presence.

2)The goal is to graduate from sitting and breathing to something more active. You’re not going to be sitting with your eyes closed throughout your life. You’re going to be making engaging eye contact, having to think on the fly, and be moving your body to the situation. Throughout this process, you need to be able to keep that level of focus and stillness while executing dynamic processes, so you don’t get lost in the storm. You become one effective mother fucker.

3)When you accomplish proper breathing and attain high levels of focus and mental clarity (all of which are a byproduct of meditation). That is, when you allow the inner chatter to teeter out of your consciousness…you’re able to control your physiology and properly manage aroused states like fear and anxiety. You can now stop anxiety dead in its tracks so you can respond to women and social situations from a relaxed place. Here, free flow is easy. You’re not thinking of what to say, and you can comfortably execute without doubt. The absence of doubt, self-trust, is THE sexiest thing to a woman.

4)Your practice isn’t going to be perfect so don’t beat yourself up. Self attack is NEVER the answer. In fact, the recognition that you’re not present IS the entire game. That is self-awareness in a nutshell. So its in fact a success. You do it more, the better you’ll become. The same goes for approaching women. There are many reasons why something didn’t work or didn’t happen so don’t start to doubt yourself, especially when you’re out at night. Focus on the next girl. You can analyze once you’re at home. The meditation process is a mirror to that very process which makes you second guess yourself in set. Recognize the distraction, and gently bring yourself back to what you set out to do. Don’t follow the train.

5)Track your progress. You should have a counter or some app that tracks how often you meditate. I use headspace and its gangbusters. I’m also able to log in my stress levels for the month and see them over time. Ironically, the months I slacked on meditation this past year, were the most stressful. The ones where I did, were the least. Meditation plays a direct part in reducing the angry, frustrated, impulsive and anxious connections in our brain that remain hyper active in our modern day. 20min a day minimum is a necessity for self-control. You also activate the creative faculties in your brain with meditation. Fuck ya for higher IQs.

6)Meditation will help with self-esteem. Recognizing harmful thought patterns is the first step. When you become aware, you’ve given yourself the opportunity to cut these patterns off. Its these thoughts that keep you in your chode crystal and cycle of perpetual despair. The thoughts breed the physiology which start causing anxiety and thus, your voice stifles, body language depresses, and you look like prey. So, if you can sever this attachment to your woes, you will bring your emotional baseline to a neutral level. From here, you can instill positivity and elevate your game.

7)In Buddhist philosophy, many gurus have said that the natural state of man is one of joy. We’re never able to access this infinitely positive space because we’re not still. It is when we’re still that joy arises naturally. From that, gratitude, and an intense appreciation for what we have. THIS is the way forward and the most successfully long-lasting way to accomplish your goals. Not from a fear based, needy approach of escapism but a relinquishment of past bondage and total acceptance of the present moment as it is. You can feel this state after one meditation session. After multiple, your body will begin to desire this over the negative and depressed one it may reside in now. The body is malleable and so is the mind. Use it to your benefit gents. Imagine what life would be like if you were a natural upbeat person? Women are magnetized to this emotional state. This is emotional independence. When you’re in total control of yourself, your interpretations and take ownership of your emotions.

Another way to put it is that this is one of the facets of authority over self
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Anyways, these are just some lessons I was reminded of while meditating this past year. You all should be doing this as party of your daily routine, no excuses.