Active Learning vs. Taking Rejection Seriously
Sup you whorebags :P
I am writing this post to get my thoughts out, and for anyone that feels they can benefit from it!
I am going to start off by saying I am a VERY stubborn person, I have always had a tough time accepting my failures and moving past them. Therefore, I have made the same mistakes over and over again, it is INSANITY. Oh yeah, I also LOVE to make excuses lol. I am currently improving in this area massively though, and it feels great.
In the past, I would let failures mentally consume me, yet I would never take the time to identify the honest mistakes I made. I would become so concerned with replaying the event in my head that I would miss the core problems that were occuring. Also, becoming obsessed with the past will only blur the true lessons behind the event. Everything makes a lot more sense when it is looked at objectively, without judgement or emotional attachment.
I also became very self-concious about my shortcomings. For example, I would get rejected on a cold approach and instead of identifying the mistakes I made, I would walk around the rest of the night like a chode because I let that one blow out be the measure of my value. Instead of taking responsibility for my faults, I would believe something was wrong with me, that I was not good enough. I would even mess up over text game and walk around like a little bitch all day, mentally consumed by it, instead of living life and being AWESOME. The truth is, hardships are not the measure of self-worth whatsover. It is the drive to stay on track with GOALS that defines value.
The most significant lesson I have learned from this forum and Manwhore is that pickup and life in general is about active learning, and failure/rejection is not something that should ever impede progress towards a goal. This has always been the dealio, I just never was listening cuz' i'm a dickhead!
When situations do not end up favorably, it is best to ask these two questions:
1. What did I do wrong?
2. What is the next step to achieve my goal?
This process is fool proof. It is an easy way to learn from mistakes without allowing the mistakes to define you as a person. It can be done while doing cold approach, social circle, text game, education, sports, sex, extreme finger painting, circus performances, top secret CIA missions, ya'll get the idea :)
When this process is embraced, rejection and failure becomes a lot easier. The answer to #2 can be harsh sometimes, you can not always get that one special girl but at the very least you will know that the next step is to go out and meet more women. All you REALLY need to do is continously ask yourself what is the next step that will lead to joy and success. Always have the end goal in the mind, the big picture, and let the journey just FLOW.
As a coach, Manwhore embodies this concept beautifully. He measures his students by their drive for success at this moment in time, not failures in the past.
I wrote this because recently I found myself going into recovery mode with lots of women where I just made stupid mistakes early on. I was trying SO hard to win these girls back, as if my success with them was a barometer of my self-worth. I started to question whether the mistakes I made were real, or If I was just not good enough. This fucked with my head, and made me question my entire approach to game. I was in a fog for a few days where I was just not confident expressing myself. This sucked, because I was holding myself back from the opportunities in front of me. Then I reminded myself that I was on the right track, and that I had to keep pushing towards my goals. The next step was to go out, meet new women, and have an AMAZING interaction from start to finish.
We were discussing 2nd dates in another thread. It is becoming incresingly clear that these hotties need consistency, second chances are rare. EVEN if you just fuck up over text game.Just cuz some chick doesn't like you doesn't mean you'll never be a boss daddy again lol I have like 3 girls that I've been texting for over a month and it's time to let them go and focus my energy on new ladies.
Nice write up, thanks
I wrote this because recently I found myself going into recovery mode with lots of women where I just made stupid mistakes early on. I was trying SO hard to win these girls back, as if my success with them was a barometer of my self-worth. I started to question whether the mistakes I made were real, or If I was just not good enough. This fucked with my head, and made me question my entire approach to game. I was in a fog for a few days where I was just not confident expressing myself. This sucked, because I was holding myself back from the opportunities in front of me. Then I reminded myself that I was on the right track, and that I had to keep pushing towards my goals. The next step was to go out, meet new women, and have an AMAZING interaction from start to finish.We were discussing 2nd dates in another thread. It is becoming incresingly clear that these hotties need consistency, second chances are rare. EVEN if you just fuck up over text game.Just cuz some chick doesn't like you doesn't mean you'll never be a boss daddy again lol I have like 3 girls that I've been texting for over a month and it's time to let them go and focus my energy on new ladies.
Similar problem, but instead of trying to win a girl(s) back there was a tinge of desperation in my approach. I knocked the girls socks off via text with absurd humour and cockiness while still playfully interviewing each other to the point she was asking me for a date... Dropped the ball and rushed the date leading to me tripping over my own feet. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Few days later I found myself doing the SAME shit over text with a new girl. I was too eager to meetup with her and it was coming off as being a bit "extra." I had to dial it back and instead of hammering at the goal, I needed to think of what would actually get me there. So I chilled a bit and laid off the gas and now things are starting to look better
Yup, any sort of desperation will fuck yah up. It is best when things are done correctly from the beginning :) that being said there will always be little road blocks too hehe
For the past few day's I've been letting this negativity convince me that it is better off to play it safe and be a chode FUCK THAT. HOLY FUCK what have I been doing, I'm back being awesome and everything is falling back into place :)
What do you mean by this?
Similar problem, but instead of trying to win a girl(s) back there was a tinge of desperation in my approach. I knocked the girls socks off via text with absurd humour and cockiness while still playfully interviewing each other to the point she was asking me for a date... Dropped the ball and rushed the date leading to me tripping over my own feet. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
Just relating to meow - with that last girl I came across super high value over text but should have pushed the date back to where logistics were more in my favor and I felt more congruent to the guy who was texting her. I was pretty eager (not desperate) to bang her and could've easily done so if I went about it the right way. Just wasn't responding to my own emotions/dick so I wasn't in the right headspace
and yeah. Same thing was playing out with another girl over text... Pushing too hard for the meetup which came across as too gamey/extra. I realized it and remembered what happened the other week so I dialed it back and started getting more 'real' - so now we're chatting and the date seems like a sure thing once I nail down a place/time. Going to go visit her now that it's reading week
Double trouble
Chatting over text or over the phone?
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
Not even text over the app lol. But going for the number would be unnecessary or overkill at this point, at least till we settle the date
Get the number dude.