Advice sought: The next step to core confidence for me is accomplishing situational confidence (Lone Wolf)
Wed, 02/06/2013 - 08:15
So today I got my first "social circle" # EVER from this hottie I work with. She's been throwing herself at me to a degree for the past couple of weeks. I was actually really nervous when I went to # close her but she was fuckin shocked as well - she was like "are you serious? Ummmm. Yeah!".
For me this is sort of a BIG DEAL. Being completely comfortable in my skin is something I strive for. I'm like 85 - 90% there, the last 10% would involve situations like this. I am pretty much a lone wolf and Mr. Cold-Approach. I don't really have an active social circle in NYC because I really don't have time to keep one. I don't really have any friends in NYC besides my wings. I'm cool with a lot of people but they aren't really someone I would call up and shoot the shit with.
This isn't a case of scarcity or a case of GET MORE GIRLS. This is definitely a case of being comfortable of really integrating "Katalyst" into just me, improving that I AM ENOUGH belief that gets stronger every month with the more reference experiences I get. Growing up I was what people called hardcase newbie, so I'm
I just wanted to get your take on this social circle stuff guys - I don't want to be on some Clark Kent shit anymore - I'd like to be THE MAN everywhere and anywhere. I'm set to leave my job soon and would love for this social circle thing to go down and get that core confidence - that belief that I AM ENOUGH no matter the situation anytime, any place.
I know Manwhore suggests that lays via social circle should come via cool and social fun events. Where I work though - getting groups of girls/people to come out to hang out is damn near impossible. I'd honestly rather just warm approach these chicks.
If you worked with tons of hot chicks, but setting up a party or get-together really and truly isn't a viable option for you - how would you go about maintaining social circle flings/fuck buddies?
Really curious to hear your thoughts.
For me this is sort of a BIG DEAL. Being completely comfortable in my skin is something I strive for. I'm like 85 - 90% there, the last 10% would involve situations like this. I am pretty much a lone wolf and Mr. Cold-Approach. I don't really have an active social circle in NYC because I really don't have time to keep one. I don't really have any friends in NYC besides my wings. I'm cool with a lot of people but they aren't really someone I would call up and shoot the shit with.
This isn't a case of scarcity or a case of GET MORE GIRLS. This is definitely a case of being comfortable of really integrating "Katalyst" into just me, improving that I AM ENOUGH belief that gets stronger every month with the more reference experiences I get. Growing up I was what people called hardcase newbie, so I'm
I just wanted to get your take on this social circle stuff guys - I don't want to be on some Clark Kent shit anymore - I'd like to be THE MAN everywhere and anywhere. I'm set to leave my job soon and would love for this social circle thing to go down and get that core confidence - that belief that I AM ENOUGH no matter the situation anytime, any place.
I know Manwhore suggests that lays via social circle should come via cool and social fun events. Where I work though - getting groups of girls/people to come out to hang out is damn near impossible. I'd honestly rather just warm approach these chicks.
If you worked with tons of hot chicks, but setting up a party or get-together really and truly isn't a viable option for you - how would you go about maintaining social circle flings/fuck buddies?
Really curious to hear your thoughts.
Wed, 02/06/2013 - 08:51
#1
Yeah dude, social circle game
Yeah dude, social circle game is interesting because I think that a lot of your sticking points just become exaggerated because you're around people for a much longer period of time- congruency becomes paramount.
Also- social proof plays a HUGE role (but in a different way than it does in a club)
As for the clark kent shit- To me, that shit is kinda exciting and fun but I also dig what you're saying about having it day and night.
One issue with running the type of game that I know you run (and I've said this to you in countless conversations that we've had) is that you tend to run a more "flashy" style of game that works well in club atmospheres, which is where you always game but you can't run that same game, all the time, in social circle...
So in a sense, you kind of have a perverted version of "Situational confidence"- in that, because of the style of game you are used to running, you have situational confidence in clubs and bars where you don't know anybody but then when you get in an environment that is different, you tend to shut down a bit (I saw this when we went on that double date a little bit ago)
An interesting side note- the best social circle guys that I've seen all tend to run a similar "Slow Burning Coal" style of game, as opposed to the high energy/high octane "Flashy" stuff that both you and I do in clubs
Also- social proof plays a HUGE role (but in a different way than it does in a club)
As for the clark kent shit- To me, that shit is kinda exciting and fun but I also dig what you're saying about having it day and night.
One issue with running the type of game that I know you run (and I've said this to you in countless conversations that we've had) is that you tend to run a more "flashy" style of game that works well in club atmospheres, which is where you always game but you can't run that same game, all the time, in social circle...
So in a sense, you kind of have a perverted version of "Situational confidence"- in that, because of the style of game you are used to running, you have situational confidence in clubs and bars where you don't know anybody but then when you get in an environment that is different, you tend to shut down a bit (I saw this when we went on that double date a little bit ago)
An interesting side note- the best social circle guys that I've seen all tend to run a similar "Slow Burning Coal" style of game, as opposed to the high energy/high octane "Flashy" stuff that both you and I do in clubs
Wed, 02/06/2013 - 10:39
#2
Dude
You're completely right.
I suck at the slow burn game shit lol.
I've made out with a bunch of cute girls, got a bj from 1 fatty, and 1 lay from a 6 in my college town. All were girls I only met once and never saw again.
I suck at the slow burn game shit lol.
I've made out with a bunch of cute girls, got a bj from 1 fatty, and 1 lay from a 6 in my college town. All were girls I only met once and never saw again.
Wed, 02/06/2013 - 19:41
#3
Slow burning coal game makes
Slow burning coal game makes the most sense to how you get laid via social circle. I should be running the slow burning coal style of game more often given I've taken a bootcamp w/ Alex and know how to run it.
True - I'm more flashy than most but you're forgetting I'm literally on some pimp shit 24/7 which makes me pretty dynamic to be honest. I approach A LOT on the subway and those are always low-energy, low octane affairs because anything else is just weird and would just FAIL. The night we did the double date was a one-off. I was expecting to show up , DO NOTHING and get laid.
Agreed - I used to shut off my charisma on dates and the like because I used to think me being charismatic was high energy but going forward I've made the right distinction to what is what.
This social circle shit should be interesting though as its new territory for me but what do I have to fear.
True - I'm more flashy than most but you're forgetting I'm literally on some pimp shit 24/7 which makes me pretty dynamic to be honest. I approach A LOT on the subway and those are always low-energy, low octane affairs because anything else is just weird and would just FAIL. The night we did the double date was a one-off. I was expecting to show up , DO NOTHING and get laid.
Agreed - I used to shut off my charisma on dates and the like because I used to think me being charismatic was high energy but going forward I've made the right distinction to what is what.
This social circle shit should be interesting though as its new territory for me but what do I have to fear.
Thu, 02/07/2013 - 12:11
#4
I think regardless of how you
I think regardless of how you go about this, this will do amazing things for you, your game, and your life overall. I would see this as something you must go after. Ok enough of the Obama rhetoric.
It's still bizarre hearing people describe Alex's game as "slow burning coal game". PFF
In social circle game you have to treat people good but also treat them in a slightly aloof way to let them know they're not getting all the value until they fuck you, or if it's a guy, until they do some real cool shit and/or you guys become "close". But at the same time make sure they know you don't judge at all. You can preempt this by sharing some shit with them that's slightly off but that you own so it still makes it seem cool. But don't make it the "community" lol. Also let them know that you're a secretive guy, and you don't care about social expectations, or what other people think. This is how you set yourself up as a guy that a girl could feel comfortable about banging without everyone else finding out. This is HUGE. This alone will get you laid.. just the fact she knows you wouldn't say shit, will get her panties off.
It's still bizarre hearing people describe Alex's game as "slow burning coal game". PFF
In social circle game you have to treat people good but also treat them in a slightly aloof way to let them know they're not getting all the value until they fuck you, or if it's a guy, until they do some real cool shit and/or you guys become "close". But at the same time make sure they know you don't judge at all. You can preempt this by sharing some shit with them that's slightly off but that you own so it still makes it seem cool. But don't make it the "community" lol. Also let them know that you're a secretive guy, and you don't care about social expectations, or what other people think. This is how you set yourself up as a guy that a girl could feel comfortable about banging without everyone else finding out. This is HUGE. This alone will get you laid.. just the fact she knows you wouldn't say shit, will get her panties off.
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Thu, 02/07/2013 - 17:05
#5
Manwhore wrote:
In social
Manwhore wrote:
In social circle game you have to treat people good but also treat them in a slightly aloof way to let them know they're not getting all the value until they fuck you, or if it's a guy, until they do some real cool shit and/or you guys become "close". But at the same time make sure they know you don't judge at all. You can preempt this by sharing some shit with them that's slightly off but that you own so it still makes it seem cool. But don't make it the "community" lol. Also let them know that you're a secretive guy, and you don't care about social expectations, or what other people think. This is how you set yourself up as a guy that a girl could feel comfortable about banging without everyone else finding out. This is HUGE. This alone will get you laid.. just the fact she knows you wouldn't say shit, will get her panties off.
WOW.
That is a great breakdown of social circle game. Nothing more needs to be said on the topic, in this thread.
It's basically the same thing you're doing with cold-approach... minus half the battle lol