All you dude that consistently get laid- How did you get in the "Groove" and become a closer...how did you become a boss daddy?

I don't fear shit, motherfucker! 

:p

No seriously tho you misquoted me. 

I think the biggest shift occurred for me when I completely forgot about "gaming" the girl and just started having as much fun as possible. 

You still gotta escalate but that's part of the fun. Go into interactions and day 2's completely at ease with not having sex and sex will probably happen. Have you ever noticed that the girls you don't wanna bang AT ALL are the ones that are massively attracted to you? Same concept, different application.

this sounds like woo woo zen bullshit but just my experience. Also remember you have plenty of time. Don't worry that you're not closing frequently in high school. I fucked a total of two chicks in high school. I'm over 50 now as a senior in college. It'll click for you.

lol it's funny that I can totally understand this in terms of the soccer story I shared. It's about going hard not taking anything seriously and pulling the trigger when the opportunity arises. I'm just sick of not being happy with my results I need to disconnect from the seriousness and realize that banging chicks is natural and should come second nature. 

yes I did. but you know what I meant 

i often feel like dates went terrible then i go for sex and it always seems to happen also. so i guess you never know until you try.

when i hit my peak momentum i actually had too many girls to schedule in. i didn't have time for all the dates and it got confusing. i did things like talk to the girl in front of me about a past date that we went on....which was actually with someone else. lol. i actually forgot about numbers id gotten from certain babes.

i was going out constantly like at least 3 - 5 times a week for a few months until momentum really kicked in. i had met a few girls i could hit up as flings which made other situations low pressure. sometimes even able to end a date and go meet up with a casual fling after.

at first it was sort of slow then once i learned the knack of getting a number, and getting a meetup it all took care of itself. i had this one date that i recreated and kissed the girl at the same spot and time in the date. haha. that actually got boring i wouldnt recomend that.

it's the fundamentals applied again and again over time that creates abundance or "momentum"

you'll find in your momentum you can get hotter girls also. it's an  investment. i was using a dating site while on the shitter, approaching girls at the mall, and going out at night. dont make it take over your life but put in the effort...always make it fun. i was having fun doing it and didnt have a goal of creating momentum, i was just lost in the fun.

ultimately it comes down to starting conversations everywhere you go. most wont click but some will. it's a numbers game. get the fundamentals down. then repeat. once you can pick up and have sex with just a few girlsthen  you know you can do it indefinitely.

great perspective k.dawg, I suppose getting the ball rolling is often a numbers game.  I shy away from this phrase because it implys some lack of control. However at this point in my development I don't have the luxury to really control every situation properly cuz I lack the experience.

I think i'm lacking a degree of honesty and authenticity regarding the process of becoming a boss

There is really nothing wrong with acknowledging I've acted like a little boy in the past, and that i'm on the road of massive improvement and I'm a dude you want to be around cuz I never stop getting better and better. Yes its vulnerability, but its a man accepting his vulnerbality and making it clear that change is occuring. Change is strength. Actually, this is not a bad frame to have.

I realized this last night when I hit up some chick that moved away a few years ago. she fuckin loved me and made it clear that she wanted to fuck me, and I somehow choded my way out of it. She was gorgous

I'm not gonna write it all out but the climax of the text convo went like this:

Me: Sucks we never had sex.Woulda been fun

Her: You did it to yourself I wanted to

Me: I know i'm not blaming you

Me: I was weird and stupid

Me: actling like a little boy

Her: yeah

Me: We should hangout soon if youd behave

her: Am I not behaving?

Me: hmm cant tell

Me: for reals. We should kick it sometime

her: I agree I miss ya face

Me: oh my sexy face

Her: oh yes

Me: but yeah. I know your cool and dont mind just meeting up

Her: yeah im down hehe

Me: welp when your back in town ill put something together

Her: I plan to come very soon! like soon next week

Me: yup Ill text ya then

Her: kk boo (heart emoji)

Me: enjoy (spot). Black the fuck out for me

Her: lol i tried and failed. night night

This convo is just so funny to me. I realized that all this girl has ever wanted is to me to be the man that would fuck her, she just wanted me to rise to the occassion and I never did when I was younger. She was always pushing me and trying to inspire me to become a boss cuz she thought I was a great guy that had lost touch with his sexuality. She even tried to pull me into a threesome. Its pathetic how I was denying this natural flow.

I think this convo went well cuz I made it clear that I wasn't the same dude, and I had just enough edge.

yes i'm not acting "macho" but fuck that, thats just a tool 

Were all stupid in the past that's nothing to concern yourself with as long as you're aware of the mistakes.
you're definitely insightful and that's all you need is willingness to learn. Im not sure we ever really arrive at boss. Then you stop improving. The road never ends. By using your awareness and progressing you're already a boss in a way, so I wouldn't make it like this future point that you need to hit. Although you will progress.
momentum really means constant approaches. You're not going to meet a lot of women otherwise. It comes down to approaching and being capable of just getting those few numbers. Its the fundamentals.

Im not sure how old you are but the brain doesn't fully develop until like 30. You're still maturing. I'd say the soonest you could be an all around mature boss is like early 30's as there's infinite amount to learn. But in your 20s you're almost limited by lack of experience. You can have momentum like I did and I was no boss. I was too immature.

Thought always likes to nitpick where we are now. Criticize, blame, etc. But thought is just old patterns from childhood. Now you're on the right track and I'm taking your word for it. Then relax a little and practice the fundamentals. What's stopping you from being fully present fully alive right now? Self doubt, old patterns, certain ideas? That's a good thing to explore.

I think for myself, I have those fundamentals down. As far as the opening, getting the # and the early stages are concerned it's pretty much muscle memory for me. I've had to have at least 7,000 approached under my belt by now, lately I've been going out every day. If I go out I usually get an average of 3-4 #s, with good interactions. It's the following stages where I'm getting stuck

What's tough for me, I think just like Meow, is that I've never been that dude that was bagging up chicks. I've been the social guy, who people like, but when it comes time for the girls to fuck, they've always gone with my friend growing up, bc I was just never that guy. I guess old habits and my past history had led me to not "lead" enough, which is interesting bc even within my friends I've had I've always felt like a leader, like the one who suggests what to do, always coming up with ideas, Ive organized events, photoshoots, music videos-- like im used to taking that role in the context of projects and hanging out. 

When it translates to girls however, I've literally never had my dick inside a girl who I've really been proud of, or really even enjoyed. Maybe im different from other guys but I just dont enjoy being in bed with 6's, or even 7's if they do something that just turns me off. So for me, it's like I've never been "successful" in my mind, in getting having what I want with the quality of girl I want, so there's this voice that goes back to when I was a kid, and also from natural friends I've had "shaming me" for making moves with girls. Like my brain has been hard-wired to think that the girls I want are reserved for bigger guys, guys that are already banging those girls

I think this seeps into my commmunication, into my texting probably, and self-sabotages itself time and time again. To add to this I also have problems with ED like some of the guys on here have expressed, so I think there's this feeling of inadequacy, lack of self-trust, self-reliance etc. that runs really deep in this particular area of life for me. Like really feeling like I am not enough, bc of past experiences

While I trust myself in tons of other scenarios, it just hasnt translated to this area for me. I think If I could go out and really fuck one hot girl, without having any type of ED issues come up, it would fill in this huge hole I feel of "never having been successful at this before"

Also I think faking it til I make it would help. Like I should just pretend I fuck stunners all the time. But that's easier said than done

I didnt lose my virginity until I was 21. So bro don't feel too bad about yourself lol it'll just bring you down even more. Just keep learning, reading, and keep up with the training. I've probably banged around 50 girls at this point, hooked up with at least double that but I've honestly lost track of my number due to being blacked out or ugly girl or whatever lol.

And even with that many bangs and being able to get girls, I still am here getting more training because it doesn't matter how many girls you're banging. If your mind isn't in the right place, if you're not in control, if you don't got your shit together, if you're not getting what you really want, if you don't even know what you want, you're not going to feel any better about yourself by banging more girls.

As for that text convo, next time probably best to just keep things moving forward instead of bringing up your wimpy behavior and then just win going forward. 

Soccer's greatest players don't NEED momentum. They make up for it with a ton of skill and experience. Momentum helps but they don't rely on it.

Momentum is just an aggregate of overall upwards success in all categories. When you started getting in the zone with soccer maybe it started when you put a few in the back. Its funny you think that because even though its a big notable event something more subtle led to the first few balls you netted. maybe a choice to not entertain thoughts of losing. maybe success in other area of your life. maybe your ego identified more with being successful in soccer vs. facing the pain of fucking up with a girl so you tended to visualize yourself becoming a sports star. Who knows what led to the momentum but regardless you just need to repeatedly engage in the thoughts/behaviors that allow you to get into the winning mindset.

yeee.

momentum and flow will come on its own, till then just keep engaging in the right thoughts/behaviors and putting yourself in the right enviroment which can't help but lead you to success, experience and skill.

^ the ironic thing is...its not actually past experiences that make us feel "not enough" its actually a conclusion we've come to by ourselves from our assumptions about what other people think of us and what our child brain concluded. Things could totally be going your way and you can interpret any event, any action, or thought as you being "not enough" once the conclusions set it it become like the reticular activation system RAS. The insecurity becomes like shit colored glasses. That idea of yourself seeps into everything.

Your truest self is like clear water. Definitions can't touch it. You're not bad/good etc. Experiences cannot define you. Patterns from childhood were useful back then perhaps but have served their function. The ego has an intelligence at protecting us as a child. But is dysfunctional once were older.
When your a child you actually are dependent on others/your parents. You can't survive alone.

Almost everyone has some kind of inner shame that needs to be shed.

the biggest players are generally very horny dudes. their horndogs. They want the girl so bad they just have to have her. No other option... (to an extant) I can get super turned on by a 7 if they've got a certain personality. Im obsessed with sex.

The ED and not being attracted to the women your with may be connected. Their might be some resistance to sexuality or some thing emotionally that blocks horniness. That I dont know. That's for you to find out

Im more likely to cut too fast from horniness than not get hard. Although its happened to me before

Lots of fantastic points in this. Geezez 

Meow you got to be bringing in the numbers dude. Meeting new girls and getting their numbers and making shit happen with them. Even your little text convo you brought in here to (you think) boost your image is from some old chick you used to know. And even that is just laden with try-hard "I'm cool" language. C'mon dude. If you can't go after new chicks and make it happen you're definitely not worthy of my respect. Just the bottom line

This is where I start to get confused. Now I have to earn respect as if i'm on some lower level, how is this going to make me feel like I can accomplish anything?  So i'm not cool, and anytime I act cool it is considered "try hard" now?

I'm just trying to fake it till I make it. I am going to try hard it because I lack the right persona and inner game to act myself.

How do you meet new chicks?

Meow

I feel like you've left a lot of information out. You've never really explained why you arne't getting sex. I don't understand compltely what's going on. Is this a internal thing, where you're getting in your own way? You need to explain further so we know what the fuck you're talking about. But I sense it's a lot of psychological shit. 

I make sex go down very well. Not like one night pulls ahah. BUt when I meet a girl out for drinks, i do very well for myself and I fuck a lot of girls. It takes a while to meet up with a girl who is a super stunner. A girl that is gorgeous and sexy. But I have no idea what the issue is. 

I think you probably need a lot more sexual entitlement. You're proabbly doing more work than you need to and probably being a bit too inside your head. I assume you're looking for way too much compliance to make a move. Sometimes you just need to just be fucking retarded. Just empty your mind and find your own rthym.

I met up with this chick on facebook on wendesday. I get drinks with her. I'm sitting quite far from her and her bags are inbetween us. Eventually I realize I want to be closer to her. I move her bags and get close to her. Then at some point she looks away and I realize I want to kiss her. I grab her face and pull it into mine and make out with her for a few seconds. I can tell she's a bit caugh off gaurd and not fully invested into it. So I pull away quickly and say, we did it, no one was looking haha.

Then continued talking to her and never kissed her again ahha, I didn't have to. I'm not trying to fuck her. I just walk and I get in my car. I don't tell her where I'm taking her. She doesn't ask. It doesn't matter. We get to my house and hangout. And I tell her that she's earned a massage from me. And I bring her to my room, get her out of her dress and in my bed and give her a nice massage. I even do the hypnosis sleep audio on her for like 10 minutes. She gets super relaxed haha and receptive to my voice. 

This was not even necessary but it was fun. The point is, if a girl is into me, if she gives me the mininum interest. I'm just going to take her to homebase. I'm not going to force anything, it's just going to happen. Now this girl was very reserved first night with me. She wouln'dt get itno my bed in just her underwear, she had to put on sweat pants. I teased the fuck out of her for wearing my sweatpants and looking like a dude in them.

I didn't end up fucking her. At one point, there was a window where if I had of gone to finger her, she wouldn't have resisted, but I missed it. ANyways, she jerked me off twice that night lol and next time is guaranteed fuck. But this basically happens. I'm highly sexual and always make a point of going for logistics and just assume compliance. If I"m not fucking on them, I'm going to cum, one way or another. 

No I'm saying you're making no effort to actually push your comfort zone. You're just trying to swim in the same little pond 

I think a big problem with my game is that I rarely plan for second dates. If i'm not getting what I want it normally concludes negatively. When I get LMR I push and push to get what I want that same night and maybe thats just unrealistic. 

WTF DUDE. This is your fucking issue. You feel that if you could just fuck one really hott girl, without having any type of ED issues come up, it would fill a huge whole for you." That very belief is what is fucking you right now. 

You're not going to fuck a really hott girl until that hole doesn't exist anymore. So long that you have this void in you, nothing is going to change. You are bringing the past into the present moment. And consequently, the present moment is repeatedly beind defined by your past. 

i think you're sabotaging yourself. On some level, you are scared to throw yourself into the fire. So you avoid situations and opportuntites or throw yourself out of the running. You're living out of fear instead of love. You're more scared that you're not going to get it hard or you're not goign to perform than you really want to fuck hott girls. 

You need to not give a fuck if you can't get hard with a chick. Once you're no longer dependent about getting a boner, you will have no issues lol. When you really don't give a fuck and just allow yourself to become present, you will be fine. I've had bad ED to the point where I didn't fuck girls for a couple years. It was horrible lol. Jon helped me work through it. 

But even sometimes I will not be able to get it up at first, when I'm about to go in, and I don't give a fuck ahha. It does not matter. The girl might be like, what's wrong or are you too drunk.... I'm just like, "gawdd you're like super hott and I'm just so nervous" and I'll say it with complete confidence haha. And they'll always think I'm fucking with them. Then usually I'll relax and shoot the shit and then I'm fine. 80-90% of the time I'm good, this happens just on certain occasions. But you could always do the oppossite and just be like, "yeah I guess we just don't have good sexual chemistry." That will kill them hahah. 

it may not be as clear in my original post but I pretty much have this exact same view as well. I just feel like banging some stunner would just get the ball rolling. I guess that is pretty fucked up, superhotties don't bang guys that are using them for a means to an end 

Haha my first bang was actually really hot with the best booty ever. My game was just real shit back then, just 2 months or so before that i was happy because i had approached a hot girl without getting blown out lol. I was insecure as fuck but i just realized she wasnt going to make it happen so i had to... i dont think you need to be a "boss daddy" or have had fucked a bunch of stunners, just go out and make it happen. I don't think there is any treshold. In fact my game still sucked dick after fucking that chick lol.

Sure. Go bang a hot chick. All those mentalities and behaviors you guys bring up, like they're so fucking significant.. they're supposed to self-correct. You've got everything you need to meet a new girl, be attractive and have fun with her, get her alone, and escalate till you fuck her. Repeat as many times as necessary.

The same reason Meow asks me why he can't bang the girls he already knows (instead of meeting new ones) is the same fucking reason he's not going out and trying to meet new women. It's so ironic it's almost funny, but it's really just sad. I'd laugh if I didn't want to just boot him in the ass. He's trying to be "cool" so badly, and this won't allow him to risk this image to meet new chicks, yet he can't bang the ones he already knows because he's trying to be "cool". You can't attract women to yourself if you're constantly trying to validate some image of yourself instead of just naturally doing your thing and being self-expressive.

Meow why the FUCK were you trying to tell a girl what to do that was sitting in your buddy's lap. What the fuck is wrong with you. That is a rhetorical question. Do not answer this thread, your ass is going to sit there and think about things.

Back 6 mths ago you were one of the better texters on the forum, you had a BEAUTIFUL girl that tried to fuck you, not just fuck you, she dated you, but you got in your own head and couldn't fuck her. But instead of being in the moment with her as a guy and a girl, you instead tried to blame her for it and broke up with her? Just to maintain that "cool" guy image. Fucking gay is what it is.

Alex I have trained tons of guys that don't have a quarter of what you've got going for you. And I mean in terms of being able to execute, attract, and fuck chicks. Nutclap, a Vietnamese guy from SERBIA transplants to Missouri of all fucking states, says fuck it and has his first threesome. You can read both his training reviews. I don't give a shit what a guy looks like, I have trained the scrawniest asian and indian guys and they kill it, because they make it happen. They don't give a fuck about excuses, they just want to fucking bang. Alex you are the prototypical "mama's boy". You want someone else to do things for you, you think in the end momma's gonna come through and give you what you want. You go from one "momma" to another, your boys that get laid, different guys in the community you've met. You want them to attract the girls for you, write your texts, do it for you. I'm not your mother, and she's not going to do this for you. It's up to you. I have trained you to lead yourself, instead you want to use it as a crutch. Faggoty

Alex you made that significant leap to boss status a few weeks back. You finally decided to make that push and operate from that headspace and that attitude. I heard it coming through in your voice and in your attitude. We set up two fucking dates for you live, one of them being on the teleconference.. and then you hit me up and tell me you don't feel like being a boss anymore should you cancel on the date with her. I can't make this up, you actually did that. Holy fucking shit. Momma's boy doesn't like things in the fast lane, he wants things to feel comfy. He just wants to suck on mommy's titties.

Alex there is no one over your shoulder for the girl to look at behind you so she decides to suck your dick. It's all you. This is why I put up that visualization drill with cutting the cords. So you could draw your attention and focus back into yourself and stop trying to subconsciously bank on someone else. There's no one else, it's just you fucker. Make it happen.

There's also this weird social narrative going on, super bizarre almost.. where nerds are told they can't have hot chicks. That even though they're the ones creating things, making things happen, running the world, some girl with a pretty face and boobs is "out of their league". But it's not the girls, it's the guys. It's in their fucking heads. You need to have more gall, demand more for you time. Be more arrogant and entitled and pushy and demanding. And you should tell a nigga what's up if they don't like it. Whether it's a guy or a girl. Tell some bitches they're dumb. Make them fucking cry. I put girls in their place sometimes. Make a girl cry. I don't want to, I get no joy out of it, but if some sass biscuit thinks she's going to tell me what's up and she's retarded, I'm going to tell her so. My time and effort, and energy and attention is that of a supreme being. And I'm going to take that coochie. Same as you ​guys'. Take yourselves more seriously.

That's for Alex, not Meow. Meow needs to stop trying to be fucking cool.

agree about the momma's boy.  I actually just realized how massively dependent I'm on other people tellign me I can do shit to actually do it.  Its a huge weakness of mine.   I noticed it a few weeks back when Manwhore called me a faggot for not banging this girl and then I immediately started acting like one for the next 2 weekends.  As soon as he called me out  I started doubting myself massively.... the exact opposite of the intended effect of having me step up.

 That's when I realized that I gotta be my own man... and not see Manwhore or my friends as people who can change shit for me... all the change has to be done by myself and they simply are advisors/mentors that point me in the right direction.  No one else can put my dick in the girl for me.

This is the same pattern that happened with my business partner.  When he left and I bought out his half of the business I lost a ton of momentum and didn't build new shit for the business and barely made any money the last few months.  Without him constantly encouraging me and telling me how awesome we were I felt alone like I couldn't make it happen on my own.  Funny thing is I got the company 80 percent of the revenue when we were together.  He simply provided the moral support that made me believe I could do it.  

I'm thinking a solo trip to a foreign country is in order for myself to build more self trust.

also the dry spell fucks up my thinking... which I think is doing the same for alex123 and meow.  

The most important thing is to not fall into self pity and think that we're cut from a different cloth.  With enough work anyone can become a boss.

That mentality is the opposite of seduction. You came out your mother's vagina as a child. To gain your way back in you must become a man. Needing someone else for moral support to get done what needs to be done is the epitome of childishness. I am not here to enable children. I am here to train you so you do it yourself. 

Agreed.  Its a massive weakness that needs to be eradicated.  At the same time though you're the 5 people you surround yourself with so nothing can be done in true isolation.  There's a balance to be achieved where you can lone wolf when your on your own.. but can work as a team to accomplish greater things.  But there needs to be a foundation of being able to get shit done when no one else is supporting me.  

Alex123 and Meow.

Question for you - how many times have you listened to PPON. Like deeply listened to it while being alert and ocmpletely engaged? I feel like you did not commit yourself to this drill completely. If you listened to that audio a dozen times, none of this shit would be happening right now. 

And by none of this stuff happening, I mean deliberately shooting yourself in the foot or throwing yourself out of the races and then dwelling on it afterwards. 

You're right man. Listening now I'm on pt 4 I've definitely been missing this.

This seems a lot like the mentality in the community when I just barely first started where people were teaching DHVs, and telling stories about their stripper girlfriend picking them up at the airport in a ferari that she stole. At it's heart it's an inadequacy, trying to be Mr. Cool, high value man. Actually lately I've started hiding those "DHV" things and letting girls find out for themselves.

I might be missing the point of this convo, but a piece of advice I can give is to be constantly gaming. Don't be like, "Oh shit. Hot girl... Time to turn on the game." No instead be vibing with old ladies, people at Subway or the grocery store, your mom, or even the person who appears super "low value." When that hot girl comes along, you treat her just as usual, cuz you've got a plethora of reference experience to back yourself up with and you actually ARE that cool man. You're not out to fuckin prove a damn thing to her.

thanks infinity this is great