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Joined: 08/05/2013

Just read Keep Her Captivated by Jordan Gray and my mind was blown. One of the best books on relationships I have read.

I used to foolishly think that "sex is everything in a relationship" so I'd create tantrums and drama (because I wasn't happy with myself) and think that it was okay to create tantrums and drama as long as the sex is amazing. But to have healthy relationships there needs to be a good emotional connection, sexual intimacy and willingness to help each other grow.

Here are my 2 favorite things about emotional connection I learned from the book:

Women want to be reassured that you love them (they want to hear and and feel it). It's built into their DNA, women look for emotional attachment, because they invest more when they have sex (pregnancy, child bearing)

 

The best way to make a woman feel appreciated and loved is by giving her a genuine compliment

 

Power Compliments:

1. Coming up with the Power Compliment (Looks, Personality, What she brings into your life)

-In what ways does she make my life better?

-How does she inspire me to be a better person?

-What parts of her body drives me absolutely crazy?

-How have I grown as a person since we started dating?

-What kind of thoughts do I have about her on regular basis?

 

2. Delivering Power Compliments

Write a 50 Things I love about you, Putting it into her purse (sign it)...suprise her

 

3. Mixing it up

Mix it up, praise her sexually/physically/personality/what she brings to your life

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Being a Great Listener:

-Girls dont want you to solve their problems...when they tell you about a problem they are opening up to you. She just wants you to listen. When she tells you a story, mirror her emotions (agree and validate her emotions).

-"how did you feel when that happened? What happened next?

-Dig deep, ask her about the details of the story. Be interested

-A woman wants to feel free to express herself. She does not want to be limited or restricted in her thoughts or emotions (she wants a full range of emotions. Good and Bad)

Here is an interview that's decent:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBcrRq-vDbU

His blog: http://www.jordangrayconsulting.com/

His blog is okayish, I don't like reading blogs. It's mostly quick tips and he doesn't delve deep into topics. My recommendation is to buy the book.

---

Let me know what's your tip/idea on having a great relationship/relationships.

 

__________________

Sup son  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

AP_Grappler's picture
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Joined: 07/22/2014
I'll look for this book in

I'll look for this book in the bookstore next time I'm out. Thanks for the heads up!

"The Female Brain" by Louann Brizendine, starting this today.

Will post up a bit of a review when I'm done.

__________________

"Veni, vidi, vici." - Julius Caesar

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Joined: 01/18/2012
Very cool. There was

Very cool. There was something else I remember noticing from your original post mang. Know what it was? 

Also, you can still help her by doing a little bit of shaping and leading while you listen. Just strictly listening and NOT offering anything constructive is for 70's fagboys. You've got to throw out the bad when it comes that's one of them. I do not believe in that whatsoever. You can validate her and make her feel good but also give her some constructive guidance

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Joined: 08/05/2013
Dunno if you will find it in

Dunno if you will find it in bookstores...I got it on kindle.

----

Not sure what thing. Maybe this: "The community taught me how to get the girl, but not how to keep a girl"?

Oh yea, totally agree that it's not that black and white...like never give advice. When he said that a relationship consist of "willingness to help each other grow" so there I think guidance and giving advice comes into play.

__________________

Sup son  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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Joined: 09/23/2013
I never give a girl "power

I never give a girl "power compliments", im always hiding my feeling from girls im with. I have this fear of girls getting super attatched to me and then having to eventually break their heart. I seriously get anxiety thinking about hurting a someonel I care about.

Do you guys let a girl know how you feel about her if you know youll have to end it with her one day? 

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Joined: 09/23/2013
TrickAssMark wrote:I never

.

AP_Grappler's picture
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Joined: 07/22/2014
I usually tell them how I

I usually tell them how I feel at some point, I don't think too much about it when it's over. That's just life right? Unless I know I'm getting rid of her in like 2 weeks then no..I don't tell her. If she's someone that'll be around for quite some time or I'd like to keep her around then ya, I'll share. 

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"Veni, vidi, vici." - Julius Caesar

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Joined: 01/18/2012
TrickAssMark wrote: I never

TrickAssMark wrote:
I never give a girl "power compliments", im always hiding my feeling from girls im with. I have this fear of girls getting super attatched to me and then having to eventually break their heart. I seriously get anxiety thinking about hurting a someonel I care about.

Do you guys let a girl know how you feel about her if you know youll have to end it with her one day? 

Young guys are still sensitive so they ascribe the same to others. Don't take yourself so seriously and let the hurt happen. It's growing up

__________________

I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student

- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)

- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male

Tap Or Click For Personal Coaching Information

patrick.bateman's picture
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Joined: 05/20/2013
Manwhore wrote: Very cool.

Manwhore wrote:
Very cool. There was something else I remember noticing from your original post mang. Know what it was? 

Also, you can still help her by doing a little bit of shaping and leading while you listen. Just strictly listening and NOT offering anything constructive is for 70's fagboys. You've got to throw out the bad when it comes that's one of them. I do not believe in that whatsoever. You can validate her and make her feel good but also give her some constructive guidance

Like this! In the past I was struggling to find that balance. I would get frustrated with some girls that literally would complain without any intention of fixing it. I like how you talked about that balance. That's what I seem to be doing now. Because i was too far on one extreme.  

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Joined: 04/20/2012
A lot of times with previous

A lot of times with previous girlfriends when I listen I just fully listen, then another day talk to them when they're in more a logical state, away from the emotions. One ex I would always text after some drama/issue and send the constructive comments that way. She mulls then over, is forced to read it without emotions, then can text back her thoughts/opinions or reference it if she has to deal with something 

Thanks for the cliff notes supson