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Amazingly Hot Body Fb Girl - Where are My Fuckups? (Text Game)

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Anonymous

So i friend request this hottie for the sole purpose of cold messaging so that I may enter her later... :D

Me: *Cough cough..im sick and need to be nursed back to health *cough cough

Me: Preferably by a cute brunette with toned delts *cough

Her: Lol i dunno if i would be much help

Me: Ah its easy, backrubs and froyo fix me up just right! ;P lol

Me: Saw X college and thought you were training to b a nurse, so what are you then..?

Her: Surgical technology

Me: Ouch!

Me: Just fell down the stairs

Me: I definitely need some surgical care as well

Me: Isnt this just the weirdest illness?

Her: So weird XD

Me: Hows your day goin pumpkinbutt

Me: A buddy and i played mall cop, easiest way to get free shit ever lol

Her: Lol what

Her: How

This is my first screw up by taking the sillynsincere too far

Me: Well first u need a sexy beard like me

Me: Then

Me: Bust out a nice stripper move and watch the wallets come out lol

Ya...lol. If i left out the beard part and just talked about stripping and toned it down, wouldve gone better

*No response.

*Next morning - I pulled an excuse that it was me sleeping as the reason the convo died. HEHE

Me: Yo watcha doin pumpkin, i fell asleep :P

Me: And im up super early! Wow god loves me lol

Ugh if the 2nd text was more awesome and less gay it probably would've worked. I was trying to take it down a notch from the craziness of the mall cop shit but ended up going the gay route instead.

*Few hours later

Me: Gawd im so done w this whole "stopping" at stop lights thig. im just gonna start runnin em

Me: Let the cops come idgaf

*Reads it. Doesnt respond. Word. 

*8hours later

Me: Its fine, i didnt like your haircut anyways

*Within seconds..

Her: Lmao ouch

Me: You're cute but so r a lot of girls, if u didnt interest me i wouldnt be talking to you rn

Me: U have any passions aside from pumping iron and taking selfies lol

Every photo of her is of a selfie in gym clothes...had to qualify and challenge her on this because every guy on her fb page is giving her tons of validation for it. I'm not against it but after a few of my fuckups, I needed to play this out instead of immediately reverting back just because she texted me fast.

Her: lol what's wrong with my hair

This becomes a serious trend. She takes every tease sorta srsly and sidesteps my questions a lot.

Me: U just ignored my question missy

Me: and im batman for cryin out loud

Me: I should tie u up w my batrope for the disrespect

She doesn't want to invest and doesn't respond.

*Hour later

Me: Maybe i'll tell u if u make me a sammich

Her: Are you trying to flirt or something

Her: I dont get it

Me: Obviously babe, but ur not giving me anything so i have to b awesome bymyself lol

Her: You're just confusing me

Me: How so?

*No response. Doesn't want to invest

Me: U must not get out much lol

Me: There's a world outside the squatrack yknow ;)

Me: Here's the least confusing way possible:

Me: yes i think ur cute and im trying to get to know u but u msg like a kindergartener lol

Had to hit her for her lack of engaging msgs and shape this somehow.

Her: How do i message like a kindergartener?

Me: Your msgs dont engage me. I'd prefer atleast a 3rd grade lvl of txting lol

Her: Dang

Now it was time to bring her back instead of harping on her.

Me: Babe im only teasing. You're so adorable i can't help but comment on your Rapunsel hair and little girl texting

Me: And i luv rapunsel. Tangled is my favorite disney movie lol

Her: lol its not little girl texting. I'm just usually busy and dont put much thought into petty conversations on social media

Me: Hey thats cool i can respect that. Lets not b petty then

Me: Let down your number rapunsel so we can have an actual convo lol ;) (my num)

*no response.

I definitely jumped the gun here but in the moment I thought it was prime time because she opened up about her lack of engagement. I just offered a solution to it but no biggie.

Me: Ah got it, you and your number are locked in a tower

Me: Does the witch have any weaknesses?

Her: Now im a witch? :/

She definitely has low self-esteem. Was going through her fb page and one of her posts was about how she struggled with body image issues in high school cause she wasn't hot then...now she's bangin. 

Me: No silly have u even seen the movie??

Her: Probably

Me: Well the badass prince saves the lil princess from the witch but the princess doesn't like to engage on social media so the prince is all like "pff"

Me: Then he goes gets some hoes

Me: Lol hows your day going pumpkinbutt

Her: Why do you keep calling me that lol

Sidesteps any action I take to build rapport so its basically been this whole back and forth I can't break out of. I know i'm teasing a lot, prizing a lot, and overall breaking rapport a lot but that's cause I'm not sure where to take it. I'm running around in circles. I want to get real but there's no opportunity to.

My next text is something weird...ya im sorry. I dont know what i was thinking.

Me: Cuz i eat both first date ;D

Me: lol u dont like it...? Its a cute petname babe

*No resposne.

I managed to catch her on fb messenger while i was on so I said fuck it and called her. Obviously she didnt pick up but i left a minute long voicemail that she hasn't gotten to yet but we'll see what happens.

My voice was smooth as fuck.

It went like: 

"Hey you whats up...ah hold on gimme a sec i'm driving.....anyways, on my way to the gym right now and figured I'd give you a call since you're such a bad texter hahah. But ya..just wanted to see what you were up to, see whats going on...and ya, now im about to run over this squirrel. Oh shit. Phew! Man these things are so fucking annoying they just come out in the middle of the road, stay there, and expect me not to hit em. 

Its all good, the little squirrel is still alive so we're all good. But ya, gimme a call or shoot me a text. I'll talk to you later. Bayye"

It could've been better in the enthusastic department and I could've said "gimme a call or shoot me a text" with more certainty but listening to it now..it plays an arrogant and aloof vibe pretty well. Makes sense cause I'm also sick right now and not feeling super high energy.

Thoughts?

Daddyjihad1 (not verified)
Her: LolHmmm

Her: Lol

Hmmm

I know you niggas out there hidin

Meow's picture
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Joined: 03/27/2013
I was going to say you went a

I was going to say you went a bit overboard...BUT this may become a tale for the ages.

Daddyjihad1 (not verified)
What specifically here makes

What specifically here makes you go "overboard"

Meow's picture
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Joined: 03/27/2013
It seemed too gamey overall

It seemed too gamey overall and almost confusing but I don't know shit about facebook stuff lol and after reading it again I guess you had to go that route because she wasn't giving you shit. 

You have any other Facebook convos ? I wanna start doing this too. I imagine most of the responses are on the colder side like this girl.

Daddyjihad1 (not verified)
Oh ya man search my other

Oh ya man search my other posts through my profile.   None have been successful but some more than others. Going the social route is better but I know I can go cold and get a date if I play my cards right

Daddyjihad1 (not verified)
But ya its so erratic cause

But ya its so erratic cause I'm so lost myself with where to go with this one lol. And I want to get her out one on one.

Was hoping you guys had any thoughts on what direction to move this into or if there was anything missing that I'm not already seeing.

My last option is to just play it out, post more dope shit on my profile and re-engage. Cause to keep texting her is doing more harm then good.

Daddyjihad1 (not verified)
Figured i'd switch the vibe

Figured i'd switch the vibe up to a more endearing side.

Me: hey babe you're a tough cookie. Must be a thing w fit chicks ;) U like surg tech?

No response. Reading it back does seem to trying for rapport. 

Eh no luck here. 

*Funny. I matched with this girl on tinder months ago but she was the type to never respond to 1st msgs lol.

Daddyjihad1 (not verified)
Figured i'd switch the vibe

Figured i'd switch the vibe up to a more endearing side.

Me: hey babe you're a tough cookie. Must be a thing w fit chicks ;) U like surg tech?

No response. Reading it back does seem to trying for rapport. 

Eh no luck here. 

*Funny. I matched with this girl on tinder months ago but she was the type to never respond to 1st msgs lol.

Daddyjihad1 (not verified)
Me: Thanks for ignoring me

Me: Thanks for ignoring me dork

Her: No problem buddy

Lol man i am not here right now. 

Its all good though. Never surrender.

Just in a tight spot with text game but nothing that I can't work through by getting my mindset in order. Appreiciate the advice you heathens.

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Joined: 01/31/2012
Daddyjihad1 wrote: Me: Thanks

Daddyjihad1 wrote:
Me: Thanks for ignoring me dork

Her: No problem buddy

Lol man i am not here right now. 

Its all good though. Never surrender.

Just in a tight spot with text game but nothing that I can't work through by getting my mindset in order. Appreiciate the advice you heathens.

Hm. Tough one, mangs. Do you have a dog? If you do maybe tell her you have a cute dog you wanna show her and to add you on snapchat so you can show her how cute he/she is. Bishes luv dogs haha. That way you can ground yourself as a real person while also showing her a glimpse into your life. 

Just spitballing here not really sure tbh. 

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Daddyjihad1 wrote: Me: Thanks

Daddyjihad1 wrote:
Me: Thanks for ignoring me dork

Her: No problem buddy

Lol man i am not here right now. 

Its all good though. Never surrender.

Just in a tight spot with text game but nothing that I can't work through by getting my mindset in order. Appreiciate the advice you heathens.

Hm. Tough one, mangs. Do you have a dog? If you do maybe tell her you have a cute dog you wanna show her and to add you on snapchat so you can show her how cute he/she is. Bishes luv dogs haha. That way you can ground yourself as a real person while also showing her a glimpse into your life. 

Just spitballing here not really sure tbh. 

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Joined: 01/18/2012
Lol. Ok what ya many times

Lol. Ok what ya many times have to do with these para-celebrity chicks on social media platforms is go for a slightly insulting tinge, while simultaneously blaming your "asshole biker" behavior on them. This tweaks their heartstrings the right way. I came up with this probably about a decade ago when I was randomly messaging these models on Myspace 'n such. Haha. I'm like.. why the FUCK aren't these bishes answering me back? So yeah I went balls to the wall and came up with the most "you're guilty of all my problems" one-liners I could. "Asshole with a heart of gold that only she can save" so to speak. Don't really want to post up my exact wording BUT with the amount of talent on this forum I'm sure you nig nogs can come up with some doozies ;) Actually I told Rsd Tyler it one time and he probably stole it and put it in an Rsdn video and said he got it from some hairy one-legged butt pirate in Sri Lanka. 

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Daddyjihad1 (not verified)
Me: My tremendously intuitive

Me: My tremendously intuitive sense of the female creature informs me that you are troubled

Her: Lmao

Her: So troubled

Me: That is why no one will remember your name

Her: ?

Me: Lmao

Me: I'm a raging cornucopia of goodness. Why r u so stingy girl?

Her: You're being rude

Her: And its not really helping you with getting my number or whatever you're trying to do

Me: Hey those were just movie quotes beb im not trying to insult you here

Me: Dont take them too srsly. I'm just playing not tryna b rude

Me: You're not exactly being cool either. You expect me to perform magic tricks for u? As if im supposed to pull something out of my ass constantly while u sit back and be as least engaging as possible?

Just read you guys' stuff lol. In the meantime, I was doing this hahaa.

Ok so one-liner asshole with heart type stuff, not too hardcore, and directed as her being the problem who can change to save me from my plight lol. ...

I kinda have the slightly insulting thing going...

Um...

EDIT:

GEEZ ONE LINERS ARE HARD

Meow's picture
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Joined: 03/27/2013
This looks so fun. Be back

This looks so fun. Be back soon fellas.

Meow's picture
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Joined: 03/27/2013
Just sent this out to a girls

Just sent this out to a girls insta I took off of tinder (maybe she gave it to me who knows)

"Don't remember you at all must be some weird tinder shit, its all about the followers right"

Is this the right direction?

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Joined: 01/18/2012
No! Lol

No! Lol

__________________

I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student

- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)

- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male

Tap Or Click For Personal Coaching Information

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Daddyjihad1 wrote: Me: I'm a

Daddyjihad1 wrote:

Me: I'm a raging cornucopia of goodness. Why r u so stingy girl?

Her: You're being rude

Her: And its not really helping you with getting my number or whatever you're trying to do

Dammit man. There was the light at the end of the tunnel. You're s'posed to pull up on the line not let out more slack. Lol

__________________

I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student

- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)

- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male

Tap Or Click For Personal Coaching Information

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Daddyjihad1 wrote: Her:

Daddyjihad1 wrote:

Her: You're being rude

Her: And its not really helping you with getting my number or whatever you're trying to do

Get your number?! I'm trying to steal your heart girl. Sprinkle it in sunshine, water it with luv drops

__________________

I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student

- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)

- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male

Tap Or Click For Personal Coaching Information

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Or gum drops would work. lol 

Or gum drops would work. lol 

__________________

I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student

- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)

- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male

Tap Or Click For Personal Coaching Information

Daddyjihad1 (not verified)
Her: Maybe im not

Her: Maybe im not interested

Me: Lol not interested?! How! When i'm trying to steal your heart girl. Sprinkle it with sunshine, water it with luv drops

*Reads. No response.

Ya plugging in a txt for something else I know but i tweaked it to fit..guess the momentum was already lost from my backtrack.

fiddlesticks

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It didn't fit. Gawd you suck

It didn't fit. You can't chase a girl once she says something like that. Totally the opposite almost

__________________

I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student

- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)

- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male

Tap Or Click For Personal Coaching Information