First thing's first.. I've been cold approaching since the year 2000, six years later I would read The Game and figure out that cold "approaching" was a "thing". Fast forward to 2015, that's FIFTEEN years of cold approach. In a period of time that long a lot of things happen, mental rhythms change, lifestyles and focuses evolve, emotional and mental wavelengths mature or shift, and ways of interacting and forming relationships with people change. This is all simply a matter of adaptation and learning, maturing/seasoning, or just plain exploration.
I definitely did not start out the way I am now. Not having read shit on "game", I was simply a dude that approached chicks he didn't know in college because he really liked girls, liked their energy, liked talking to them, and sometimes wanted to see them naked and wrestle them. I was super vibrant, open and friendly. I bleached my hair out, wore tight fitting tanks and rode my skateboard around the dorms. I had a SHIT TON of female friends, I was swimming in them, because that's all I did. Sure I had guy friends I did shit with.. but after that it was going off to hang out in some girl's dorm and hang out with all her sweetmates. My massive crew of loyal female friends would have made even Jonathan Taylor Thomas jealous. Love letters, secret admirers, girls offering me their virginities, my female friends giving me their friends to "take care of".
I invited new people out to every where, was loud spoken as fuck in social environments, and made new friends constantly. It's what I like to refer to as "masculinely flamboyant", that archetype that both Kimnasty and Meow have referred to recently in their posts though sometimes in a disparaging fashion, lol. The guy with all the female friends.. swimming in them. Straight as fuck, though some guys tried to talk shit obviously, but just motherfuckin' always hanging out with chicks. Funnest shit ever. One of the best years of my life was that freshman year in college.
It wasn't just all about the girls either. I got courted by several of the top frats on campus, a couple different chapter presidents wanted to take me under their wing for some reason, I really wasn't sure why, and honestly my life would probably have turned out differently if I'd taken either of them up on it. It wasn't all gravy though, I definitely had conflict with certain guys, haters to say the least, one guy even challenged me to a wrestling match.. we set up the whole thing on the front lawn, got campus t.v. on it, pulled a bunch of couches out of the dorms, had about 80 people out there and I just whupped his fucking ass all over the place until I got bored.
Then a few things happened, I had a big mental shift at the end of freshman year, almost like I'd had my fill and it was time to put more time in pursuing the depths of masculine polarity, pursuing "male" accomplishments, etc. I joined the military soon after and began one of the more intense learning periods of my life. I still had a lot of female friends, but I also had more conflict in my life during this time and that interfered with my ability to be open to them. We didn't have "self-improvement" back then. Guys "reading about game on the internet" wouldn't be a thing for at least another several years. And to put it in even greater context, the CLEAR link between pickup and self-development did NOT exist until Rsd made that transition (which I played a pretty decent role in helping happen). A lot of guys take things for granted in the community nowadays.. but it wasn't always like that. The focus, wisdom, and collective experience of the community has definitely evolved.
But the one thing you guys have to understand in all this.. this game is about becoming a LEADER. Plain and simple. A social leader, an emotional leader even sometimes a physical leader, but always that one thing. There are different leadership styles, and different times call for different tactics and even techniques, but there are certain laws that always remain true and it is only the abilities of a leader that can consistently navigate them. 1) Women must like you, or at least respect you (you can become a compelling person), and 2) Women must go along with what you want (you can learn this it's simple leadership skills).
Not to mention having to constantly deal with friends and obstacles, and the sometimes retarded levels of just plain old personnel management it takes to pull sometimes.
What this period of my life gave me was that. I spent years being a leader a trainer and a mentor and having absolute accountability of all details. It was intense as fuck and invigorating, it gave my masculine side that fulfilling avenue to commit itself fully to. And I ain't afraid of shit. Yes I did fall out of touch with a lot of that old vibrancy, I wasn't the same dude anymore for awhile. Many of my male friends went through the same transition in life, and most stay there. They never recover, they never learn to balance the two. I have been blessed with enough latitude in life that I can entertain both sides of the spectrum. As a dating coach I'm responsible for crafting dudes into interesting guys that can charm a girl's panties off, and I'm very good at it lol.
But for me though this goes beyond just pickup. It's not just our little community over here in our little corner of the web, I'm trying to do bigger and bigger shit and at one point you realize you just start seeing how it all works. It's the path all businesses take in growing. It's so weird to see it as a business but that IS what it has to be. It needs exposure, publication, and it needs to feed itself and grow and become bigger by making money.
But going back purely to focus on the skill set with women, I teach what is considered the full completed skill set. It's about crafting an intense personality and personal warmth and charisma that draws people in, women in particular, but that can also command when needed. To become interesting, intense, zany as fuck, the ability to "hold court", and make people feel the way you want them to.
For example the perception is that I run more of an authoritarian style of game, always charging on, not stopping to enjoy the rosies. Well that's definitely not true. I tell girls stories that make them want to have sex with me. I regale girls with tales and then they suck my dick. Do you know how good a story has to be to get that kind of result? You sure?
But it's not just about melting their panties off with the sheer power of my convictions. We also have a ton of fun together, they want to be around me. I make them feel warm and intense, and we share the experience. (I'm of the opinion that any woman I spend time with, whoever it is, will end up wanting me in a sexually fulfilling fashion. It's invariable at this point. I'm too much to comprehend they don't even know or care what's happening.)
And the skill set is obviously not just related to women, or even purely for social environments. Even basic stuff such as the fact I've been pulled over several times in the last couple years by police, and not once did I receive a ticket. I even had a cop peel out and roar to a stop in front of me, jump out and rush me on my bike. He still didn't end up giving me a ticket lol. I don't wait in line to get into clubs in Vegas, I don't pay either.
And maybe even most importantly.. being a coach is itself is a MASSIVE skill set. Being able to instill positive change in a person, many times when the very fiber of their being fights against it, can be excruciatingly difficult. Just because you might have game does NOT mean you can coach, and just because you can coach does NOT mean you can be a dating coach. It's a very narrow skill set.
There ARE a couple other "strains" of game around. I've been around sociopaths whose style of game I called "House of Cards", everything was a lie or manipulation. World class in a way, but completely without truth or value. I couldn't believe girls would fall for this sort of shit, but most of them did to a certain degree. Beautiful ones too, looks had no bearing on it. The person practicing it was absolutely hollow as well. Every emotion from this person was that of an eight year old child throwing a fit.
Anyway, on to the original discussion. I'm sure some of you have seen Alex's hotseat footage that I'm in. Here it is:
You don't really see much of me and regardless with video you're really only seeing a small fraction of the the actual IMPACT of what's happening. Alex from 2009ish through around 2011 was clearly the best in the world. He operated on a level that could be jaw-dropping to witness. Several of us give him a run for his money nowadays in the same massive skill set he brought to the table, but back in 2009 he was like a fucking train coming through. Like you're playing life as a game of Charades. That's what it was like. Alex running around like a ringmaster organizing mischief and frivolities. Women were thrilled to get caught up in it. He probably could have walked everybody off a cliff if he wanted to.
But after the charades were done and we were back in the suv, I dropped my girl into the trunk of the suv from the backseat, crawled in after her slid her leggings off and fucked her. I wasn't thinking I was simply operating. Obviously I was definitely enjoying the hotness of the experience, but I operated without doubt or concern. And then, only about thirty seconds into it- rocking her hard making the whole suv shake, we heard plaintively from the front seat, "Annie??". Apparently Alex had only just started kissing his girl, and here I was plowing mine.
A few months later Alex would jump on Rsdn and have a conversation with Brad about dealing with girls who would "use him for his personality" and then not put out at the end, lol. This was a problem for Alex back in the day. Except he asked Brad about it, he should have asked me about it I was the guy for this sort of thing. But for whatever reasons there was a lot of ego bullshit going on all throughout this time. Strong cliques had formed that would eventually fracture company culture. But that's for another time.
This was also back during the time when I started actually pulling with students during bootcamp. I remember at the time it was sorta treated with shock by Tyler and some of the other guys- actually pulling on bootcamp was not something they were familiar with lol, and so they doubted the value of it. But I just dismissed it. Of course we pulled with students, duh, that was a HUGE part of the skill set. They needed to see how I handled logistics and CLOSED.
Anyway.. just wanted to shed more light.