Any insight on this situation? Tinder girls ghosting *after* meeting up, date went smoothly
One of the commonalities is that in each case we sent very few messages on Tinder, and then only a few texts night of the meetup.
Girl #1:
Opera singer. A little goofy, but sexy. We met up at an olde timey cocktail lounge. The hostess sat us on a leather loveseat. I spread out. Her body language was closed off and she was nervous. We talked and she was laughing at my jokes. I had two drinks to her one, but I was sipping them and its not like I was drunk. First time I put my hand on her leg she folded it across to the other side. I tried later and she didn't flinch. She said she had a gig in NYC the next day and had to get going. She lived nearby, and demanded that I be a gentleman and walk her home. She asked me if I have a cold, I said "No" and she said she had been checking for signs all night. If she gets sick and can't perform, then she doesn't get paid, so sheis careful about who she kisses and takes care of her throat (I didn't ask but I assume this means no BJs ugh).
She stopped a block from her actual building, and turned towards me, totally nervous. I pulled her in, she turned her cheek a few times, and then puckered up. Giggled and bounced around while I was holding her, and then skipped off across the street. She answered one text that night and then went silent.
Girl #2:
Sexy lil early 20s Asian dance instructor. Met up with her at a bar near where she worked. She arrived before me, ordered herself a beer. Gave her a quick squeeze and then sat down. Bartender came over. I got a drink. Once I made eye contact and started talking her eyes lit up and she grabbed her beer and gulped half of it down. She was boring and uninteresting, but she is hot so I kept the convo going for both of us--she was trying to ask "interview" style questions. I was keeping the touching light because she seemed easily scared. At one point she told me I was "handsy" and so I laughed and put my hand on the inside of her thigh. She said it again and I told her I'll move it then, she responded with "I wasn't saying that I mind."
After one drink I was super tired and the place was empty. The bartender suggested a few other places to go, but I decided to call it a night. Walked her to the car. Spin-move against the back. Denied. Told me to kiss her on the cheek. Denied again. Maybe I just gotta listen to MW saying that the kiss doesn't mean shit. She shut me down a few more times. Told me that the date "exceeded her expectations" hahaha. She sent me one text that night and then another the next day asking for my last name. Haven't heard from her since. She didn't answer.
Any ideas gents?
Hmm.... Were you hanging at one place only. I find it to be much easier when the date is dynamic and you move from place to place. A bar, sitting face to face doesn't work for me. Did you perhaps get into too serious subjects, such as religion/politics?
I make sure I get the girls properly invested and qualify them before I go on a date with them, while also telling them a bit about myself. I rarely do quick tinder meetups. They usually lead nowhere for me.
Hmm.... Were you hanging at one place only. I find it to be much easier when the date is dynamic and you move from place to place. A bar, sitting face to face doesn't work for me. Did you perhaps get into too serious subjects, such as religion/politics?
Yeah and I know that shit already about moving around but we were at a chain restaurant/bar in a strip mall not on my turf. I had no idea where else to take her, thought about going outside but its cold and she was little and only wearing a vest. I felt like she was just watching me put on my show and wasn't really invested in the interaction.
The opera girl I def could have moved her around after the first drink, but thats all she had, so my plan to go to another bar was foiled.
The subtext is that these girls made sure they maintained control the whole time and didn't allow an opening for "normal" behavior that would lead to me taking control. These girls both couldn't handle the physicality whereas other girls I banged were open to the fun manhandling early on. BUT these two were more wide-eyed and complimentary.
I sell for a living now and I see parallels in customers who don't buy vs girls who don't fuck. In each case I am not able to get through to them without taking a big risk.
Part of this is me being back home and not out in Vegas anymore, and part of it is going on dates after being at work for 12hrs and feeling low energy. Need to figure this part out.
I make sure I get the girls properly invested and qualify them before I go on a date with them, while also telling them a bit about myself. I rarely do quick tinder meetups. They usually lead nowhere for me.
What's your qualification look like?
The subtext is that these girls made sure they maintained control the whole time and didn't allow an opening for "normal" behavior that would lead to me taking control. These girls both couldn't handle the physicality whereas other girls I banged were open to the fun manhandling early on. BUT these two were more wide-eyed and complimentary.
I feel you man. I think in these two scenarios I just don't know. It could have been that you scheduled the date too late for her and she had to get up early in the morning, had some other shit in her mind... I'm shooting blindly here, BUT I believe that every woman has a different route to her panties and escalation. Some simply won't let you touch them in the beginning, you'll have to share a lot about yourself before they feel comfortable to share their bodies with you. Others will be very open to physicality, like you said, and respond to challenging, humor and dominance. Yet others will have some other route... It's your job as a seducer to find out her route/blueprint/whatever you wanna call it and make it happen. I'm still learning this... I realized this when I was in Krakow/Poland. I had a date with this Blake Lively look alike, with long, heavenly, golden legs... She simply wasn't letting me touch her initially, and reacted negatively to it and me. She was very cold and uninterested... Still I managed to move her to some other place, and we sat next to each other at a park bench... I started talking about something random... and I noticed she loved my story telling. Fortunately, I've had good training with MW on vocal projection and this kinda shit and she started to warm up... She melted and started touching me, kissing me. Dumb fuck as I was, I didn't take her home and fuck her, which I totally could've - I had this issue of being turned off when a girl gives me a lot of rejection...fuck man, the blue balls from that night were from hell. I had to fuck another chick the day after to get rid of them...
Part of this is me being back home and not out in Vegas anymore, and part of it is going on dates after being at work for 12hrs and feeling low energy. Need to figure this part out.
Yeah man. Been there, done that. Whenever I'm low energy like that, or worse, SHE is, I can't get shit to to happen. Every month I have what I call a "zombie weekend" where I'm massively sleep deprived. Never been laid on that weekend.
Alpha Prime wrote:
I make sure I get the girls properly invested and qualify them before I go on a date with them, while also telling them a bit about myself. I rarely do quick tinder meetups. They usually lead nowhere for me.What's your qualification look like?
I try to qualify asap, usually in a playful/accusatory manner. I usually put some value into the conversation and then I start to broadly screen for weird qualities. Later on I can even screen for specific traits/characteristics that I like in the women I wanna meet.... Hell, I've even stolen some that fit me from MW, Patrick Ballsman and Jeffy:
General:
MW: I hope you're not an old man with a beard, wearing only panties and who's stolen some chicks photos
RSD Jeffy: So... do you drink/smoke/have tattoos? I don't like smoking girls, fucking love tattoos (depending on what they look like)
P. Bateman: I hope you're not one of those chicks that chew food loud. Don't think I could handle that..
Me: I hope you don't work for the Russian maffia and kidnap handsome men like me and sell them to old russian ladies with a moustache...
PS: This MW-article is golden for this kinda thing: http://manwhore.org/displaying-disapproval-increase-attraction-avoid-fla...
Thanks for that. Had a date last night that went better. I can't quite put my finger on it but something about my texting is getting me put in the "potential boyfriend" zone. These girls are looking at me with a different standard than if I was just a hookup, and its something that I'm doing.
Last night I made sure to plan the logistics better. Took her to a lounge high up with a view of the city. Texted her to wait for me at the elevators. When we met up she tried to take the lead (5'11" and she was wearing stilettos hah) but I put a stop to that shit real quick by slowing down and making her match me. This lounge has a balcony with an amazing view and this dumb broad on the phone told me it was closed for the season. After getting a drink at the bar I just started walking towards where the balcony door was and said to the manager "hey I know the balcony is closed for the season but I just want to show it her she hasn't seen it" and he walked over and opened the door for us. Haha a few mins later one of the couples dining inside came out to join us.
She relaxed and looked to me to lead the rest of the night. I went to a different lounge which had a private party--ooops--then went to a different one. Lead her around inside. Once this seat opened up (same leather loveseat from the Saturday date) I moved her over there and set her down next to me. She let go and snuggled up to me. Earlier in the night she was keeping her distance.
She had to get up for work in 6hrs, so we went outside and she called an Uber. Only part of the logistics I didn't have handled. So we were making out waiting for the Uber. I was, once again, super fucking tired. I made a play to go with her but she shut that down real fast. Overall it was worth it. She said last night that she doesn't go on second dates, but she wants to see me again.
Any chance we can see the conversations
Any chance we can see the conversations
I appreciate the help but I would be writing out pages and pages. Its all going to flow from my mindset, and if, subconsciously, I'm looking at a girl as a potential gf because that's what I want, then its going to come out that way, and she'll pick up on the subtle differences. Part of it is def grammar and punctuation. Its a pet peeve of mine to text in half-formed run-on sentences, even though I know that that's an effective style to evoke emotions. I'm working on it
This girl I fucked the other night did the same bullshit to me though, and I was a cocky dbag throughout that interaction. From first message until after I fucked her I was a dick. And she loved it, BUT she was making a play for relationship land.
She wanted me to kiss her but not pull her tits out (it was kinda in public but not really), grab her butt but not pull her dress up. Hold hands but not try to finger her, etc. I put her hand on my dick--and it obviously turned her on--but she pulled away. I only got the bang by being sneaky as fuck.
I made sure to meet up at a bar within walking distance of her apartment. She tried to tell me goodnight, but I told her I had to stay at her place.
She said no way. I laughed and told her that I was too drunk to drive (true). She's a nurse so I hit that nurturing instinct. She tried to get me to take an Uber haha, but I convinced her that there was no smart way for me to pick up my car before work the next day.
Finally she relents and makes me *promise* that if she lets me stay over I'll keep my dick in my pants hahaha. I said "I promise!". Go back to her place, she shuts me down. We take her dog out for a poo. Come back in, she shuts me down again. She announced that it was bedtime, told me she was going to the bathroom, and that I can get in her bed (studio apt so no couch) but I have to keep my dick in my pants.
*OF COURSE* I jump in under the covers and take my boxers off. Left my t-shirt on so she didn't suspect anything. She climbed in and wanted to spoon. Once in the spooning position, she tried to protest when she realized I wasn't wearing boxers, but by then it was too late. I put her hand on my cock and she started stroking it, I slid her panties off, and that was that.