Attempting to bang a young, emotionally wounded hot young indian ting
I'd put up texts, but there's literally a small novel of them - TONS. tone is very flirty/teasing/utterly retarded with some more normal style convo. was explicity sexual talk about things when she was in person with me.
Been a week to the day that we first kicked it. This is bothering me particuarly so as she'd be probably the sexiest/coolest chick I've banged to date. UGH. haven't been trying to text her as much and she's slown a bit down recently as well with what happened to her recently (work, above) and me becoming a bit butthurt by her actions. LOL. I know.
Also considering "calling her out" after reading MWs article on expressing disapproval to a girl for certain behaviors.
A girl's really not going tu make plans to meet up that's on you. Yes you probably want to call her out, so.. what sort of display of disapproval could you craft here?
Seems to be a couple factors here. Youve been too available. You've engaged in her drama too much.
The mother issues seems fake/unimportant.
She sounds a little like a drama maker (arent they all)
A week really isn't a long time between first dates. I'd say if you do two first dates in one week that usually works against you.
I think for you youre going to want to jump into some subtle conflict with this one.
She has a lot going on so give her some space but also be the man she desires to sneak around her mom to get to you.
Be that tasty man-sicle thats a challenge for her.
If shes on tinder you know how much male attention she can get?
Seems like she found out that you'll chase her even if she's dramatastic.
I wouldnt call her out but leave her.
Invite her something very low pressure. Like a movie at your house/ I dunno.
Make it sound like no risk/no pressure. Just fun.
Then if she brings up some excuse nail her some form of...
"Look I dont really have time for drama, its something I exed out of my life you seem like you might create more for me, or it seems possible that youre letting other people bribg you down and im not into that"
Thats my advice but its really hard not knowing more information.
Id have to be in your shoes.
It seems like a common case of you've been too available and your not a challenge.
She could continue her drama and get back to you weeks later and youd still be there. Thats not what invokes love. Desire invokes love.
Challenge invokes desire.
Something very suggestive but not accusational. Dont be offended but be inquisitive
Fuero/k.dawg knocks it out of the ballpark.
that's an awesome answer man, thank you for that.
I'm thinking something along the lines of... :
hey babe - I want to bring something up.. you know like I shooting the shit with you and had fun when we chilled, but I'm starting to suspect that maybe your talking to me out of boredom/for your own enjoyment. I hope my suspicions are wrong about you.
I lead a busy life and the only reason I was available to see you this week was because I made the time to (trying to get her to see this and do the same...) - not because I was sitting around bored as fuck waiting for the first person to kick it with. you know me well enough to know I ain't attacking you boo, just being real.
I saw some of your examples of saying something like "talking to guys to make you feel better about yourself" and being more icy about the whole thing - but from the tone of things so far I believe that would be too much of a shock for her to handle without getting defensive and it seeming like I'm personally accusing/attacking her.
Gotta find the balance. I would possibly even leave her. Invite her one more time then say it if she refuses. Or find fault in something she brings up if u drop it out of the blue it may look planned/like your dropping her. This is a little extensive but whatever signs she shows junp on it. This is a little long^ and kinda shows you investment is high.
I wouldnt call her babe
*not leave her but leave her alone until u want to go out again.
now i have time lemme break down what youre saying here so you can see the investment
"hey babe. i want to bring something up...you know i like shooting the shit with you and... "
-only call her babe once youre mutually in a relationship otherwise call her a babe f you want, but not your babe. implies you think shes your girlfriend. she'll run." i want to bring something up" just bring it up you dont have to introduce the topic. thats asking permission. the end is also showing way too much interest and availability.
you've had these deep text convos whith her that are shooting yourself in the foot. ideally you want a handful of texts to make her laugh get her hooked then suggest a meetup.
"i lead a busy life....i made the time to see you...." thats also showing youre invested. the tone is so serious for one date. you want to still be laughing and teasing. youre not going to get her to cognitively go "he's given me time i should give him my time" the only thing convincing to women is actions, subcommunication and theyre own emotions. they live in an ethereal world
with a tinder date you want to be even less invested than with a pick up because you lose some points for being on the internet in the first place. most guys online are on there cuz they cant approach. Online, women fill out these emotional fantasy like needs of dramatic conversation that the more you engage in, you think youre doing awesome, but actually youre falling into a trap, the less they want to meet up for real because they got everything they needed just by text.
theres a good chance youre already speeding into the friend zone engaging in so much of her drama and being so cuddle buddy with her. the whole thing is eggshell walking around her feelings.
i would decrease contact by 95% right now. then text her when you want to meet up again. in 3 to 5 days. if she refuses hit her with a much simpler version of this,
"look, are you just leading me on because you're bored."
"i kinda get the feeling that youre just tease. "
"more drama, seems like youre pretty good at that""
if you can make it kind of playful even better because that will really sub-communicate that she has no power over you youre awesome, your fun, youre not pressuring her, you have standards and you can call her out and easily step into conflict where necessary.
this is so common so im elaborating so more people can get some of these points
Thanks man - that's solid.
i was supposwd to see her today but she bailed yesterday because she made plans with her half sister (who she hates apparently) to go out and do shit during the day - and apparently now it got pushed back to tomorrow.... Any thoughts/comments welcome on moving forward. Texts hVe been much more infrequent from me - every 2-4 hours.
Wow this is awesome. Youre still in danger zone so be careful but you have the right attitude completely. Shes not really hearing you which is worrying, shes kinda on autopilot. If you continue to see her youre gonna need to continually smack her outta auto pilot that she has going. Shell love you for it.
I would maybe not keep trying to meet her every day. Maybe be like "look ill give you a few days of space to deal with what you got going on" And do it. Hit her up sunday or something to hang out at night. Only you know the right schedule. But youre still way available if its like, ok not today tomorrow. Not tomorrow the next day. Shes calling you babe which is a good sign but really shes letting her drama overpower your masculine frame. Thatll be detrimental
great, thanks for this.
Lol Envee. Look at our two different perspectives here. Probably 'cuz I'm just fed up! >:p
Lol I laughed when I read his and then your post XD I hear you though.
Fuero come out of nowhere. A true comet.