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Pickup Coaching
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beargrizz's picture
Joined: 09/30/2012

From a purely factual standpoint, I am a good looking dude.  People think I'm dave franco alot, lol.  Why am I saying this?  Am I a narcissist?  Not ultimately, but its a personality flaw of mine that developed due to social conditioning and it is holding me back.

I was watching one of MW's interviews with eddy baller and he mentions that attraction means nothing.  

Being highly attractive is ultimately a blessing, of course, but at first it is a curse.  The reason being is that society teaches this kind of person to extremely externally validated.  And I get tons of that.  I pretty much LIVED off of it.  I did not have to look within for anything until very recently.  So despite feeling so unfillfilled and empty on the inside, I was able to look "successful" in the outer world.

But does that help me in terms of growing as a whole person.  Helllll No!!  I get the look from girls constantly, and yes, these are the girls I typically approach and am succesfull with.  

But here is the thing, it can leave one with a very empty feeling on the inside.

It is SO true as MW mentions in this video, that FIRST AND FOREMOST, pickup is about RESPECT.

My mission these days is to respect myself.  Because deep down, well not even that deep down, I don't really.  It's a call to action, a call to shift from usual negative, over thought perspective of life that I have gotten away with DUE to my good looks.  Other people could not get away with this shit like I do.  But again, is that reallly a good thing?  No, it's a habit that an attractive person has to overcome to truly reach their potential.  Of course, it worked for me when I was young and a momma's boy, but in the real world it does not.  

So the conundrum for an attrative person is that when there is little to no self respect on the inside, yet a whole crap load of endless external validation, it can be a VERY slippery slope.  One that I really don't want to go down anymore.

Anyways, just want to say from first hand experience. that attraction without respect is nothing but a facade ultimately.  

Essentialy, the question is, are you someone that you would want to date?  

My answer to that question has been no inside and until that changes, which can only change in the NOW of course, the outer successes will be empty and ultimately even more dissolusionary.  

This explains why often the most attractive girls are the most nuerotic.  

We all live according to universal law, but we are taught such fucked up and shallow values.

If identity is found in one's appearance, as is taught to us, we are fucked as a species.  There is no true growth in that at all.  

Call it self-respect, or self love, but that is the one MOST singularly important value in all of life, yet alone pickup.

Again, Would you want to date yourself?  

If the answer is anything but a fuck yes, as it has not been for me, then an identity shift has gotta take place, or we will just be lost in a world of things  that mean nothing to us. 

Having a love and desire for life first comes from a love and desire for yourself.  period.


“Cleverness devoid of wisdom is extremely dangerous and destructive.
Enlightenment consciously chosen means to relinquish your attachment to past and future and to make the Now the main focus of your life.  Through allowing, you become what you are: vast, spacious. You become whole. You are not a fragment anymore, which is how the ego perceives itself. Your true nature emerges, which is one with the nature of God"
- Tollester

CreamoftheCrop's picture
Joined: 04/18/2014
Being an attractive man

Being an attractive man myself I faced some of the problems you had, but one problem I had due to my own ego was that I felt the need to present myself for people as this cool guy or be pressured to be someone I am not due to my looks. Total mind BS. 

Totally agree with your vibes right on broski. MW would explain to me to cut that fag shit out about looks cause at the end of the day it doesn't matter...and he is so so so right!