Being Able to Approach Anywhere and Anytime is Real Daygame
I think one of the biggest takeaways from the recent trip to Colombia is the ability to approach anywhere.
I think it really sunk in after I banged a girl I met on a coffee run... and maybe it sunk in even more after going on more dates with girls met during daygame just going around my daily life (as opposed to doing daygame sessions).
Before, I used to rely heavily on momentum to do daygame. Very fucked up. I was stuck in a "not enough" mindset.
Now I feel comfortable talking to a girl just going about my day, with zero "momentum". Just as I am, 30 minutes after waking up, maybe a bit tired and probably not the most charismatic.
I think what it ultimately came down to was a few different things that I think are major issues-
1) Lack of owning my desires as a man.
Subconsciously somewhere I thought that me approaching a girl during the daytime was "bad". Obviously consciously I knew this to be not true, but it played a factor. I guess at night it's easy to justify that its assumed that guys are going to talk to girls. In the day it used to feel weird in some sense, even though I'd power through it. It was a very subconscious feeling which went against all logic.
In Colombia I really learned to own my desire as a man to have sex and bang girls. Colombia is good for that. When Colombian men see a big booty girl go by, they'll turn back and admire dat ass (but ill take it a step further and approach).
One of my buddies was like that too, constantly and unashamedely looking at eye candy. He gets laid like crazy, and he 100% is unabashed in his masculinity and desire for sex.
There's a lot of subtle conditioning that goes on in Western society that shames men for wanting sex
Ever since coming back to Toronto, I see the facade. People are unhappy. The girls are stressed out and uptight because they're not embracing their feminine role. Many men have hunched shoulders and zero masculinity. People seem stressed and unhappy.
I can't help but laught at it in public.... its an absurd joke. These people are missing out on life in their self imposed prisons. Me approaching these girls is offering them a way out.
2) Lack of self belief
Once I started getting results doing one off approaches during the day I started having more belief in myself, and I started to realize that me just chatting up that girl waiting for the bus could result in something great for both of us. I saw myself as "enough" without having to be charismatic or witty, etc. Me 30 minutes after waking up is perfectly fine to talk to a stunner.
3) Improper technique
When I'm doing one off approaches, its indirect. Right now I'll literally have a stock opener in the back of my mind. If I'm on the street it'll "Hey excuse me. Do you know a good restaurant around here". Etc. Its easy to think of a question.
If I tried to go direct I wouldn't do them because going direct requires a lot more balls. It's easy to ask a question and transition that to small chat. And from a girls mindset, it eases her into the conversation. It's less pressure. It works for me and in Colombia I did much better with indirect than direct.
Guys go direct with success, but for me indirect works because I have less anxiety and because it feels more natural. And it doesn't matter how dumb the question. The girl and you both know that the question is just a pretext to talk.
4) Do it for the DNA
My buddy says whenever he sees a really hot girl, he feels that he has to approach her no matter what. It's your duty as a man. This is a good mindset I have adopted.
Awesome. How did you get started? I've cold approached a couple girls day time but i can't do it anytime anywhere for the sake of picking her up
Fuck yeah man! Initially I had very strong aversion to going out for a 'day game session.' Felt completely unnatural and would force me to rely on momentum to get the confidence to get past my own shit. Then last year it sunk in when I banged a dime by doing these one off approaches. After that it became a reality that yeah you can go open to close pretty damn quickly despite just waking up with coffee breath. Whether it use to stem from a lack of self believe or thinking that the stunners float around on clouds all day, its nice to have to not rely on feeling 100%. But I usually go direct just because the first thing that comes to my mind when I see a super cutie is 'hey your super cute.' Going indirect sounds pretty money Im going to start trying that
p.s: we are unhappy because its already may and have yet to see any short shorts or cleavage come out
yeah I'm going to start experimenting with direct.
I think the reason direct didnt' work in Colombia was because girls usually take 30-60 seconds to realize that you're a normal cool guy (cause I don't think girls get approached much, so they might think its something sketchy). So with direct you're already overwhelming them.....
So going indirect just buys that extra time to get comfortable with me and realize I'm a cool normal dude.
But here in Toronto, I realize my fluent english is allowing me to overthink which is blowing opportunities...... (cuz I'm trying to get to a perfect transition into a real convo instead of just introducing myself)
My indirect opener in Colombia went like this (in spanish obviously)
"Do you know a good restaurant around here"
Her- yea, blahlbhlah
Me- do you study here?
My lack of advanced spanish meant that I wasn't thinking about smoothness, and it was easy to switch talking about ourselves. Also it was super easy to hook since I was a good looking foreigner lol.
So I think I need to be a bit more aggresive, and to the point here in Toronto. It took me a few approaches yesterday to realize that but I think I'm hitting a good zone for here.