Being Alpha Without Being a Dick
This is taken from another member's field report thread. But I wanted to share it becuase, it gives a very good idea of an issue I think a lot of dudes have- HOW TO BE ALPHA WITHOUT BEING A DICK
This is something I've talked about a TON in previous posts - But another good way to put it is "Positive Alpha"
I also come across as awesome, so there's that.
But yeah - a lot of guys who are newer to the game, come in and think that you gotta be a dick to get girls, but you actually don't have to. There is a way to be incredibly alpha, while simaltaneously being nice to everyone (unless, of course, they fuck with you)
Friday, July 26th
Made it to Manhattan. Did a lot of touristy things and did some approachs. Met up with buddhagames for some day game action. He did really well. I got stifled since I could tell his level of game is awesome.
Only day gamed with him for around 30min before he had to get back to work. I solo'd for a bit after and did some more approaches, but nothin really stuck
Met up with imthaifool and some of his friends from inner circle. We did street game. Did a shit ton of approaches, but the women here are harder to break. Well, at least they're more direct about not wanting to talk to you. Sort of annoying, but I definitely was not "on". Still took crap loads of action though.
Walked down to meet up with buddha again at 1am. Again was feeling pretty in my head. I'm working on stopping this crap, since it was a lot of fun hanging out with him, but it would have been even better if I was approaching. He was cool about it though, and he even opened some sets to throw me into it to get warmed up. Stayed out till around 2:30 (bars close at 4) since I was concerned how dangerous it'd be to take subway really late.
Buddha is (as expected from advanced members) a really cool guy and fun to hang out with. Very positive too. The thing that stuck out the most was how dominant he is, both physically and behaviorally. Very alpha. Leading and escalating, getting in her face, just came naturally. It was interesting because I learned that you can be alpha, dominant, and still be cool. I definitely don't hold myself as an alpha male as much as I should (since I was afraid of being a dick). But, now I realize that they're not related at all, and you can be alpha and cool at the same time.
I will actually be posting a "how-to" as part of this, by the end of the day.
Natural byproduct of being comfortable in your own skin.
Being overly aggressive or overly passive is a sign of immaturity.
This is my current roadblock. Im far more internally oriented than I used to be, I really have no problem saying and doing what I want. Which is good, but I've been coming across as a huge fucking douche lol. I'm so about me that I'm forgetting to truly connect with people, I'm lacking empathy and compassion at this point.
Meow, you should really look at Juliens game if you haven't. I was on a pretty big dry spell at the beginning of the year when I actually enjoyed (or thought I did) being a dick to girls. Part of it was because I thought they were below me and I thought I was self-amusing lol. In reality, I was just putting way too much pressure and expectations on the girl to live up to my unrealistic standards. I got this sorted a while back when I really dialed in on making a connection. Julien's game is awesome because he's super good at being direct but also being able to chill and listen/flirt. The three biggest improvements I've made since that dry spell:
1. Intense eye contact
2. Being non-judgemental (this includes talking freely about sex, sexuality, etc.)
3. Pushing for the close HARD.
In the past, I would talk to a girl. Turn her on. And then, think "Meh, this girl really isn't my type. I could do better." And my subcomms would come off as douchey and uncalibrated. For example, I would cut off threads prematurely, back turn girls for no reason, and be more focused on having fun with friends than HAVING FUN WITH EVERYONE.
Hopefully this helps...
Also, I think a lot of this is GENUINELY enjoying the girls company and really feeling that "us vs. the world " mentality.
Open > Connect > Close
Meow, you should really look at Juliens game if you haven't. I was on a pretty big dry spell at the beginning of the year when I actually enjoyed (or thought I did) being a dick to girls. Part of it was because I thought they were below me and I thought I was self-amusing lol. In reality, I was just putting way too much pressure and expectations on the girl to live up to my unrealistic standards. I got this sorted a while back when I really dialed in on making a connection. Julien's game is awesome because he's super good at being direct but also being able to chill and listen/flirt. The three biggest improvements I've made since that dry spell:1. Intense eye contact
2. Being non-judgemental (this includes talking freely about sex, sexuality, etc.)
3. Pushing for the close HARD.
In the past, I would talk to a girl. Turn her on. And then, think "Meh, this girl really isn't my type. I could do better." And my subcomms would come off as douchey and uncalibrated. For example, I would cut off threads prematurely, back turn girls for no reason, and be more focused on having fun with friends than HAVING FUN WITH EVERYONE.
Hopefully this helps...
Dude. That's me, my self amusement has developed into some seriously fucked up superiority problems. I checked out some of Julien's shit and I really like it.
thank you :)
So what's the part of Julien's game that has to do with relaxing and connecting with girls? Lol. That is not the normal assessment of Julien's game
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
So what's the part of Julien's game that has to do with relaxing and connecting with girls? Lol. That is not the normal assessment of Julien's game
I'd be intrigued for Julien to roll up on a girl of mine.
worst fr of all time.
So what's the part of Julien's game that has to do with relaxing and connecting with girls? Lol. That is not the normal assessment of Julien's game
Lol true. He does have one video that resonated with me about connection. It's called the moment of realness or something along those line. One of his earlier vlogs, it's really solid.
His manifesto made a lot of stuff click as well.