Breaking off the nearly 2 year relationship...
Wed, 04/17/2013 - 03:08
I think it's finally time I end this...
I love this girl to death. She's met the family, friends, and has been the girl I've had the strongest connection to in my life.
That being said..since we had a 2 month break I'm way to emotionally invested in her in bad way. I feel myself getting needy. Stupid shit that didn't happen before. Ie. she doesn't text me back --> emotional response. I don't lose my mind or go crazy but it's that little feeling that is there. This is not something you feel in abundance as I've been there several times. She comes to my birthday party at a club earlier this month. I hesitated to invite her because I normally don't see her during "nightlife." She shows up and we have a ton of fun. I'm ready to rail her at the end of the night and she takes off early for whatever reason. I didn't ask. Ugghh I hate admitting this but I pushed for her to stay but she pushed back so I backed down to "not make her feel bad." I'm left at the club at 1:00 with another horrible emotional response.
This is UTTER FAGGOTRY on my part. I'm so gawd damn disappointed in myself for letting this get so off track.
I figure one of the bigger variables here is that I'm slipping into scarcity as I had nearly 3 weeks of no to "weak" game from surgery. Now I just moved back to Toronto so I couldn't follow up with any of the hoes I met in Hamilton last week. I banged an Asian girl last week but my "fuck buddies" are literally at an all time low.
I figure there are only two ways to handle this properly:
-Break it off and man the fuck up. I'm finally in a position to go out 7 nights a week for the first time since I started gaming. Start from the bottom for the first time since I started game. 0 fuck buddies. Full on self trust(which I have) to build it back EVEN better. This would be incredibly painful for me. I've invested nearly 2 years with this girl. It will probably fuck me up horribly for a bit but make me stronger in the end.
-Don't break it off but stop seeing her for a bit until I create a new harem in Toronto. This would handle me acting like a FUCKING FAGGOT as these aren't my normal actions when my abundant self is at the surface.
Thoughts? Really looking for advice from dudes who have had longer relationships while pimping.
Steve
I love this girl to death. She's met the family, friends, and has been the girl I've had the strongest connection to in my life.
That being said..since we had a 2 month break I'm way to emotionally invested in her in bad way. I feel myself getting needy. Stupid shit that didn't happen before. Ie. she doesn't text me back --> emotional response. I don't lose my mind or go crazy but it's that little feeling that is there. This is not something you feel in abundance as I've been there several times. She comes to my birthday party at a club earlier this month. I hesitated to invite her because I normally don't see her during "nightlife." She shows up and we have a ton of fun. I'm ready to rail her at the end of the night and she takes off early for whatever reason. I didn't ask. Ugghh I hate admitting this but I pushed for her to stay but she pushed back so I backed down to "not make her feel bad." I'm left at the club at 1:00 with another horrible emotional response.
This is UTTER FAGGOTRY on my part. I'm so gawd damn disappointed in myself for letting this get so off track.
I figure one of the bigger variables here is that I'm slipping into scarcity as I had nearly 3 weeks of no to "weak" game from surgery. Now I just moved back to Toronto so I couldn't follow up with any of the hoes I met in Hamilton last week. I banged an Asian girl last week but my "fuck buddies" are literally at an all time low.
I figure there are only two ways to handle this properly:
-Break it off and man the fuck up. I'm finally in a position to go out 7 nights a week for the first time since I started gaming. Start from the bottom for the first time since I started game. 0 fuck buddies. Full on self trust(which I have) to build it back EVEN better. This would be incredibly painful for me. I've invested nearly 2 years with this girl. It will probably fuck me up horribly for a bit but make me stronger in the end.
-Don't break it off but stop seeing her for a bit until I create a new harem in Toronto. This would handle me acting like a FUCKING FAGGOT as these aren't my normal actions when my abundant self is at the surface.
Thoughts? Really looking for advice from dudes who have had longer relationships while pimping.
Steve
Wed, 04/17/2013 - 06:41
#1
Ok first of all.. are these
Ok first of all.. are these incidents of low compliance on purpose?
I am not exactly seeing the issue here. She left your bday party early so you're upset?? They wrote a song about this.. it's ok:
Very catchy. I'm dancing at my desk as I listen
I am not exactly seeing the issue here. She left your bday party early so you're upset?? They wrote a song about this.. it's ok:
Very catchy. I'm dancing at my desk as I listen
__________________
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
Wed, 04/17/2013 - 06:44
#2
I'm seriously going to have
I'm seriously going to have to listen to this one again. Shit. It's catchy
__________________
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
Wed, 04/17/2013 - 07:31
#3
Dude that song is so perfect.
Dude that song is so perfect.
It's more just me being disappointed in these lame emotional responses I still get. When I get a bunch of them I look at what's causing the behavior.
Really frustrating watching old behaviors come back. I think I really need to put my focus into social circles / new hobbies this Summer. One of my goals is to have enough good shit going on so that if I'm just seeing one girl(not anytime soon) or not getting laid on the regular these chode behaviors don't come back. It's pretty clear when I slip into scarcity with women I go insane.
As for the low compliance. I guess it's been sort of a pattern lately. It's nothing I would normally freak out about. It's more me just not liking the way I'm behaving. Doesn't really have anything to do with her. Not sure why this made me jump to "kill this relationship off."
I'll have to think more on this.
It's more just me being disappointed in these lame emotional responses I still get. When I get a bunch of them I look at what's causing the behavior.
Really frustrating watching old behaviors come back. I think I really need to put my focus into social circles / new hobbies this Summer. One of my goals is to have enough good shit going on so that if I'm just seeing one girl(not anytime soon) or not getting laid on the regular these chode behaviors don't come back. It's pretty clear when I slip into scarcity with women I go insane.
As for the low compliance. I guess it's been sort of a pattern lately. It's nothing I would normally freak out about. It's more me just not liking the way I'm behaving. Doesn't really have anything to do with her. Not sure why this made me jump to "kill this relationship off."
I'll have to think more on this.
Wed, 04/17/2013 - 21:02
#4
Right that's what I was
Right that's what I was hinting at. This chick did nothing wrong but you're trying to throw the blame/punishment onto someone else instead of yourself; namely her, when you just need to untuck your balls from your vagina. This is pretty regular behavior honestly so nothing to trip over. People are always looking to put the blame on something else. Another thing I think you got going on here, which I've experienced a few times myself, is the mismatch of your guys' investment towards a relationship. I think this girl "chased" you for a relationship for awhile, and you denied her, and so she got on that FWB page, but then in your current situation of less abundance you inadvertently went for the relationship, e.g. that extra investment from her, and she either didn't see it, doesn't want it now, or needs to warm up to it, but you're pissed off it didn't happen now. 'Cuz that's how neediness is ;)
__________________
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
Wed, 04/17/2013 - 22:07
#5
I agree.
Additionally, I
I agree.
Additionally, I think there is a balance, that some people have to strike between "Taking responsibility" and "Taking too much responsibility"- it's always important to look internally to solve a problem/situation but at the same time, it's also important to recognize that it's not always "You" that needs to change or behave differently- obviously that is a component of it and there is always, at the very least, something small, that you could have done differently
But it always takes two to tango so it's important to recognize that there is only a certain point you can go to before it's like- well, *shrug*
Additionally, I think there is a balance, that some people have to strike between "Taking responsibility" and "Taking too much responsibility"- it's always important to look internally to solve a problem/situation but at the same time, it's also important to recognize that it's not always "You" that needs to change or behave differently- obviously that is a component of it and there is always, at the very least, something small, that you could have done differently
But it always takes two to tango so it's important to recognize that there is only a certain point you can go to before it's like- well, *shrug*
Wed, 04/17/2013 - 23:12
#6
Right, I didn't bring that up
Right, I didn't bring that up because this is Steve I'm talking to, however I recognize I should have added that for the good of the forum.
__________________
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
Thu, 04/18/2013 - 00:53
#7
@Manwhore
Loved the
@Manwhore
Loved the mismatch in the investment breakdown. Makes neediness click in my head on a different level than I thought of.
The "expectation" that a girl will remain at a very high level of investment at all times is retarded. She did say a few months ago "I finally think I accepted we're never going to be in a monogamous relationship." It evolved into a relationship where we both see other people and are COOL with it. Her investment is naturally going to be lower. The reason is she has forced herself to no longer believe I'm going to be the dude to have kids with her ect... Or at the very least it is in the very back of her head.
So...to rehash. When I get needy aka CRAZY I subconsciously push for investment at a relationship vibe she's just not in right now.
After much consideration I believe I'm going about this the wrong way and need to man up in other ways. I'm going to build up my harem and revisit this later on if something changes.
A few key points I learned from this:
-Cultivate larger social circles and more hobbies outside of Pickup to remain in a state of abundance regardless of getting laid on the regular / being with one girl.
-Be aware of taking out things on others when I'm not living up to my standards. This is really pathetic behavior and I need to weed it out.
@Buddah
Agreed. If it ever go to the point where she became high maintenance I would cut it off. The truth is she's very LOW maintenance. I see her once every 1-2 weeks and she's not really needy at all. All she asks is that I respect her and appreciate her time. I have no problem with this as I demand exactly the same.
Thanks for all the help guys. I really appreciate this one.
Loved the mismatch in the investment breakdown. Makes neediness click in my head on a different level than I thought of.
The "expectation" that a girl will remain at a very high level of investment at all times is retarded. She did say a few months ago "I finally think I accepted we're never going to be in a monogamous relationship." It evolved into a relationship where we both see other people and are COOL with it. Her investment is naturally going to be lower. The reason is she has forced herself to no longer believe I'm going to be the dude to have kids with her ect... Or at the very least it is in the very back of her head.
So...to rehash. When I get needy aka CRAZY I subconsciously push for investment at a relationship vibe she's just not in right now.
After much consideration I believe I'm going about this the wrong way and need to man up in other ways. I'm going to build up my harem and revisit this later on if something changes.
A few key points I learned from this:
-Cultivate larger social circles and more hobbies outside of Pickup to remain in a state of abundance regardless of getting laid on the regular / being with one girl.
-Be aware of taking out things on others when I'm not living up to my standards. This is really pathetic behavior and I need to weed it out.
@Buddah
Agreed. If it ever go to the point where she became high maintenance I would cut it off. The truth is she's very LOW maintenance. I see her once every 1-2 weeks and she's not really needy at all. All she asks is that I respect her and appreciate her time. I have no problem with this as I demand exactly the same.
Thanks for all the help guys. I really appreciate this one.
Thu, 04/18/2013 - 01:28
#8
Don't push her away that
Don't push her away that would be lame-o. And if you do feel free to send her to my pof profile, that'll handle the rest of the job.
__________________
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
Thu, 04/18/2013 - 03:40
#9
If I did that I'd have to
If I did that I'd have to copy your profile and then bang your mom off pof from your own content.
I'm that mother fucker.
I'm that mother fucker.
Thu, 04/18/2013 - 20:35
#10
Steve wrote:If I did that I'd
Steve wrote:
If I did that I'd have to copy your profile and then bang your mom off pof from your own content.
I'm that mother fucker.
hahaha
GOT EM