Change Your Life: Shift Your "Locus of Control"
The past year, for me, has been a pretty significant one. The kind of year where you look back to who you were 365 days ago, and think to yourself, "Wow, I was a totally different person". The kind of year, where people who know you, have come up to you, specifically to say, how much you have changed over the course of the past year.
It's addicting, fellas. The one thing I want the most for this next year, is to continue to grow as a person. It's addicting as FUCK. When you see yourself make such massive improvements on your life, entirely becuase of efforts that you've made, even if those efforts weren't always the way that others thought it should be done.
So the quesiton is, how do you grow as a person? How do you make "Deep, Identity Level Change" ? The answer to this question is endless and totally not something I would ever even THINK of trying to answer fully, lol. But what I will do, is give one way to completely change your life. One way to change who you are, what you do and the way you see yourself.
Again, I need to preffice this - Pretty much anything I ever write about, takes time. The stuff I write about is like the SUPER deep-level change stuff. This is the stuff that truly will change your life. It's simple. It's very simple and the effects are profound. But it will take TIME. It will take LOTS of time.
I'm talking about changing your locus of control. I'm talking about shifting your gaze inwards. It's simple. You're going, "Really?".... Yes. Really. Change your locus of control and you will change your life. Turn the flashlight inwards and you will change your destiny.
For years, my locus of control was externally focused, but this year, that switched. I can literally FEEL the difference. It's very obvious to me. It's as if I'm holding a flashlight and before it was pointed outwards, but it's been slowly rotated, until now it is entirely shining towards me.
Shifting your locus of control will allow you to start paying attention to yourslef. Pay attention to yourself and you will learn about yourself. Learn about yourself and you will change yourself.
So many questions exist about how to treat women, how to relate to women etc. etc. - honestly, all of this shit could be directed inwards. Learn how to treat yourself properly and you will be successful with women.Shift your locus of control.
Damn. I know how simple this sounds. But it seriously is so ridiculously profound and such a SIGNIFICANT shift to make, that it literally changes your life.
Do it. Do it now. Develop an internal locus of control.
Put yourself first. Love yourself. Be proud of who you are. You deserve it.
And dont just take those words and see them at their surface level - Go that additional step further, and dig deep into them. Dig deep and see how this stuff manifests itself on very small levels.
I remember reading in some study done by Daniel Kahneman (his book is the shit) that an overly internal locus of control can lead to some psychological issues, such as being too hard on yourself when there is a geniune external reason for failure.
I think what you said above isn't implying anything that extreme though, I personally think the healthiest way to be is complete self focus, but remembering the huge element of randomness and unpredictability in life.
I remember reading in some study done by Daniel Kahneman (his book is the shit) that an overly internal locus of control can lead to some psychological issues, such as being too hard on yourself when there is a geniune external reason for failure.I think what you said above isn't implying anything that extreme though, I personally think the healthiest way to be is complete self focus, but remembering the huge element of randomness and unpredictability in life.
eah, I totally see what you're saying, that's def. a good point - but, for most people, I think that's kinda like telling a fat person that if they get TOO skinny, there might be health issues.
Also - when you develop that internal focus, it stops becoming, how can I show respect to others, and switches to, "How can I show respect to myself", and as you learn to show yourself respect and pay attention to yourself in that way, the self judgment is mitigated by a respectful approach to dealing with yourself and your emotions.
Also- a healthy, internal, locus of control would allow you to understand the difference between something you "want' and your "expectations" - when you have the right understanding between those two terms, you may view "failure" differently.
Cool discussion. For a pair of fags ;b
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
Deep stuff here. If you don't mind me asking, have you set any specific goals in terms of what oh want to learn or create over the next year?
i only ask because I see shit the same way, but I can't learn everything at one time (only 24hrs a day) and always find it hard to choose where to focus my time.
-Oozz
That comes back to personal organization once again. When you have a couple white boards, a breakdown of tasks and time allotted, you can get a TON of shit done. It's pretty much the only way to get more than one major project done at a time.
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
Deep stuff here. If you don't mind me asking, have you set any specific goals in terms of what oh want to learn or create over the next year?i only ask because I see shit the same way, but I can't learn everything at one time (only 24hrs a day) and always find it hard to choose where to focus my time.
-Oozz
Too many projects//goals dilludes the success you'll have at any given one of them.
I tend to focus on one thing at a time, in each area of my life:
1. Work
2. Getting in shape
Those are my ONLY two focuses right now.
And what you're going to see, is that in less than a year, I'll have ridiculous success at each of them. And the majority of that is because I lock the fuck into one or two goals and don't spread out my resources.
Something else that may help you be okay with committing to only one or two things, is that, what's amazing about really focusing on just one or maybe two goals, is that you begin to use that SINGLE focus, as an avenue into exploring yourslef as a person. Look at what someone like Tyler has done through the avenue of Pickup - he has a SINGLE MINDED effort on that one activity for a long ass time, but it is through that ONE activity that he has been able to grow as a person.
Not being able to settle down and commit to something is one of the hallmarks of immaturity. You don't have to stick with it for life, but find something you want and then just fucking GO FOR IT. You don't have to do everything at once, in fact I would HIGHLY reccomend that you do not do that.
I just got THREE white boards: A huge one for general vision stuff, a smaller one for my daily stuff, and another one i want to put weekly stuff on. I'm going to move to a new apartment in a week, so I haven't screwed them all into my wall yet, but still using the daily one, and oh boy it's great.
Yo what do you guys put on your whiteboards? I'm curious. This is something I'm going to do.
Also - I'm basically never at home, but a more portable version may be good.
I'm actually trying to keep my goals limited to one or two goals at a time and also keeping the tasks that I have to do for each, VERY simple.
So ideally what I would do is get these whiteboards and just keep the shit I write on them VERY simple. Use it as a general guidline.
I don't have the habit in yet, but here is my plan:
Big white board: Values, reminders to myself, inspirational ideas, anything to help keep my mind oriented toward empowering things / things I want to cultivate.
Medium board: Important things to get done for the week
Small board: Schedule for the day
I'm sure this will change with time, but it's my current plan.
Hm. Nice.
Are you in college, do you have a job? Work from home?
This seems like it would work for someone who works from home, or is in school
Buddha it's insane you don't have a white board.
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
Without a white board you're basically beholden to being in an inspired state to really get things done. Know what I mean?
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
Hey Good thread Buddah, I'm also focus on work even if I still go out at night, have no job but have fun
Cool discussion. For a pair of fags ;b
Shush you little fuckpig ;)
I can see how whiteboards would be a massive resource, I may invest in some when I move in Semptember. I'd probably just get one for long term goals though, HabitStreak is currently keeping all my short term goals on track.
Hm. Nice.Are you in college, do you have a job? Work from home?
This seems like it would work for someone who works from home, or is in school
I'm in grad school, so I do a lot of work from home.
I understand the idea that it might not be as valuable if you're mobile. However, I'm hoping that going through the ritual of planning a day, deciding priorities, and actually writing it out, etc, will be helpful even if I don't have the board in front of me every waking hour. But, I'll let you know how it works. I'm expecting to have to experiment for a while.
^^Nice
Again, for somebody who isn't at home, the whiteboard isn't in their environment, so it loses most of it's pizzaow
That's a bomb breakdown though, siht. I agree with you, I think the important aspect of it, is that those 4 elements are being addressed, and whether that is with a white board, or a poo stick, it doesn't really matter, as long as you have those 4 elements addressed.
It's probably more important to just do something that YOU PESRONALLY can commit to and that works for you.
oozzaNSR wrote:
Deep stuff here. If you don't mind me asking, have you set any specific goals in terms of what oh want to learn or create over the next year?i only ask because I see shit the same way, but I can't learn everything at one time (only 24hrs a day) and always find it hard to choose where to focus my time.
-Oozz
Too many projects//goals dilludes the success you'll have at any given one of them.
I tend to focus on one thing at a time, in each area of my life:
1. Work
2. Getting in shape
Those are my ONLY two focuses right now.
And what you're going to see, is that in less than a year, I'll have ridiculous success at each of them. And the majority of that is because I lock the fuck into one or two goals and don't spread out my resources.
Something else that may help you be okay with committing to only one or two things, is that, what's amazing about really focusing on just one or maybe two goals, is that you begin to use that SINGLE focus, as an avenue into exploring yourslef as a person. Look at what someone like Tyler has done through the avenue of Pickup - he has a SINGLE MINDED effort on that one activity for a long ass time, but it is through that ONE activity that he has been able to grow as a person.
Not being able to settle down and commit to something is one of the hallmarks of immaturity. You don't have to stick with it for life, but find something you want and then just fucking GO FOR IT. You don't have to do everything at once, in fact I would HIGHLY reccomend that you do not do that.
Good places to focus. I'm similar in that I prefer to to delve into only a few things at a time, but go very deep. Otherwise, I feel a bit lost by doing too much, that's just me though. Have your ead the book Mastery? Shit is really good in terms of learning how to focus your energy and improve in a skill.
I'm definitely going to invest in a whiteboard.
I just got one a few days ago. And it's amazing for just writing down quick notes if you don't keep journals. Also a good reminder for where you want to be. For me it keeps me in check, and creates context for things I need to do for that day.