Clever ways of dealing with cops and not getting ticketed

I got pulled over this morning and got out of the ticket. I was thinking about how I have a knack for staying out of trouble and I figured I'd write up some tips for you guys to do the same. My dad works for highway patrol so I've been around cops almost my whole life. These are techniques I know to throw a wrench in the gears of how officers are used to handling things. They are almost like a clique of people and they see citizens as outsiders, if not potential enemies. Basically the main point is: a cop won't write you a citation if they like you. So the goal is to be likeable.

There are a few types of cops:

1: The normal cops who have almost that firefighter vibe. They typically stick to the rules, but are chill at the same time. I would say 80% of them are this type.

2.: The power trip cops who get off on it. In my experience every female cop and rookies are this type. I'm not even sure how to describe these ones, except if you've run into one you know what I'm talking about.

3. Undercover cops. These ones are wierd and rare. They are paranoid and seem to have psychological issues.

Techniques for being cool with the cops:

1. Know the cop:

This is rare that you get pulled over by a cop you know, but it's the ultimate. A cop will NOT write you a ticket if you know them and are on good terms.

Example of it getting me out of a ticket:

I was 16 at the time and I got pulled over by a cop my dad knew. I had met him once before. He totally messed with me lol. He called in three other cars and surrounded me and made the whole thing look like a big drug bust. I was really naive at the time and thought I was going to jail. Afterward he was like, "Say hi to your dad."

2 Smile. Be super chill and unflappable. Be respectful.

I can't stress this enough. This is the underlying thing I do with EVERY cop. Cops live for moments when they run into drama queens. If you are chill and give off the vibe that you're not going to do anything weird or crazy they will feel comfortable. Never give them a reason to think you're a potential enemy.

3. Pull over in a safe place.

How to do it:

My dad works for highway patrol. You wouldn't believe how many officers have been hit by vehicles going 65+ mph. Never pull over on the highway or road, if at all possible. Put your blinker on and pull over at the next off ramp.

Example of it getting me out of a ticket:

I got pulled over for doing 80mph on a two lane 55mph highway. Basically criminal speeding. I waited until the next place I could safely pull off, which happened to be the highway patrol station lol. The officer was like, "Why did you wait to pull over here?" I said, "because it's a two lane highway and it was the next place to pull over off the highway." He thought I was a drug runner (prolly because I was driving my nice '84 Olds Cutlass) and told me that he wouldn't write me a ticket if he could search my car for drugs. I was like sure, do it!

4. Carry a gun. (LEGALLY, if you're able in your state)

How to do it:

This is counter intuitive but it's gotten me out of more tickets than I can remember. Be really careful with this. If you don't give off the right vibe, this will fuck you royally. The vast majority of cops own firearms personally. They see the general public with guns as either "good person/thug" Giving off a thug vibe will screw you hard. Basically, when you get pulled over. Put your gun on the dash, keys out of the ignition, hands on the steering wheel, and tell the officer immediately. Cops appreciate that you appreciate the danger of their job and that you're empathetic enough to not scare them. This pays off.

Example of it getting me out of a ticket:

I ran a stop sign right in front of a cop late at night. I was sleepy and it was a side road. He pulled me over. I had my .357 mag with me in the car. I went through the procedure, weapons on the dash, have insurance and registration ready. After running all my info he came back up and said, "I was gonna write you a ticket, since you ran that stop sign, but you've been super cooperative and I can tell you're a good guy, so I'm just gonna let you off and say 'be more careful.'"

4. Carry a "Get out of jail free" card... Yes, Monopoly cards.

How to do it:

This one is my favorite and is for when the previous things havent protected you... and only for traffic/speeding tickets. This won't get you out of a DUI or other serious crime. When the officer is about to go back to his car and run your info, whip out the Get out of Jail Free Card and say, "Oh by the way officer, I have this..." hand him the card. Even better is if you ask him if it's valid in this state. He says NO. and then you flip it over and it has VALID IN THIS STATE printed on the back! You can buy these btw.

Example of it getting me out of a ticket:

This works GREAT for those power trip cops. He pulled me over because my windshield was "cracked." Unfortunately he was a rookie and my registration was expired and none of the above techniques were working so I had to whip out the card. He LAUGHED HIS ASS OFF all the way back to his car and came back with my stuff and said, "Get the heck out of here!" chuckling.

Anyways, there it is... there's really no reason why you should be getting tickets after reading that, unless you were doing something completely stupid.