Congruence and choosing what emotions you feel

You can be the guy who banged a girl in a closet, and there’s a guy right next to you who’s getting sexual harrassment charges for being creepy, because.. his behavior is just not acceptable in the workplace. He didn’t give himself permission to be this way, acted incongruent- therefore he didn’t deserve to be acting like that. Girls picked up on this. I just read Tyler’s article on the “Secret Society”. That’s what I’m talking about here..

http://www.rsdnation.com/node/65491

Something happened at work recently that made me remember this article from Manwang.

I’m working at a restaurant currently and I chat with the hostesses here and there, there is no intention behind my interactions with them. In fact to the untrained eye I’m just being friendly, however there’s a lot being conveyed in the way I carry myself when I talk to them. I carry myself with confidence and congruence, I don’t have to “game” them, with enough exposure to me they will eventually get attracted. This is a direct resut of MW's training program, that shizz works wonders to turn you from chode into having sex ooze from every pore.

One of the hostesses ends up getting my number from a co-worker and texts me, I close a date within several texts. She’s an 18 year old and I was going to tell her to keep shit discrete but I didn’t get a chance to before she started telling the other hostesses that I asked her out. Now I am going to have a conversation with her about not discussing anything that goes on between us at work, to keep it our secret. However given the situation I decided to angle this to my favor.

Another hostess who clearly has a crush on me came up to me as I was working and tells me that she heard I asked “someone” at work out, so and so said. She had an accusatory tone in her voice. I play it off totally cool like “on a date?” Were just "hanging out" then proceed to jokingly invite her (lame attempt at seeding a threesome lolz), she continued to ask me about it. I gave her one more confused look then decided to suck all the emotional momentum out of it and change topics, she was chasing me around for the rest of the day like a puppy.

It’s about emotional projection, when the second hostess came up to me her tone was accusatory lmao, if I had allowed her to que what emotion I should be feeling (which would have happened to me in the past) the outcome would have been totally different. Instead I consciously made the decision to maintain my reality:

1. What I did wasn't anything out of the ordinary 

2. Has no sort of significance

3. Acted out of congruence with my frame

4. I am non-reactionary,

This is a 22yr old gurl, she can come and accuse me of this cute shit, I think it’s adorable, I think she's a little jealous that she's not getting daddy's attention. This resulted in her taking on my frame, then her seeing how non-chalant I am about matters like this allowed some space for her to chase.

This is the convo that ensued after our shift:

Before I left I shared a slice of pizza with her.

Her: Thanks for the (pizza emoji)

Me: Np cupcake :)

Her: we should “hang out” next time after our shift

Me: lmao deal

Her: :)

Her: when are you working next?