Congruence Paradox

Are you not naturally polarizing? Or how about.. How are you naturally polarizing? Once you get in touch with that you can relax all the game shit. Because even a simple "smile" will tell a hot bitch from Paris all she needs to know ;) 

To be honest, I think I am quite polarizing even when I'm not trying all the gamey stuff. I'm not shy to express my opinions and emotions. The things I talk about with not just girls but friends in general are seen as 'different' and i guess, 'interesting'

and the way I talk about them too, I think, can be provocative.

Having said that, something is clearly off..... maybe my sense of entitlement with the hottest girls is not there yet... so I don't ruthlessly push it like I should. Realised I'm not really taking risks and making things happen with them physically or emotionally.

I kinda get a sense of what you mean about the smile...lol but I guess that isn't something to emulate as much as it is something that comes naturally when I reach a certain level of game?

It should be something that should start coming naturally quite early in the game, hopefully lol. But yes most guys are extremely unexpressive with their faces. 

If you're naturally polarizing you got to start going with that that's awesome.

Most guys start out shy, hiding their true selves to avoid rejection (they are out of congruence with their true self). So they are actually being fake, they aren't the same guy when they go out as they are when they are at home playing video games in their underwear. This is why the general 'just be yourself' advice doesn't work for these guys because the 'self' they think they are (introverted, shy, loser, etc) is not their true self. It's just socially conditioned BS.

The 2nd phase is breaking out of this - beating approach anxiety, doing over the top self amusement, having strong opinions and expressing them, making crazy polarizing statements. Like yelling FUCK THAT or BULLSHIT to whatever the girl says. Doing crazy pua style moves and escalation, going for the pull as quick as possible, etc. This stage is much better than the first because you're learning to express yourself and learning how to game but it can also come across as insecure, immature, overly excited, needy or try hard.

The 3rd phase is going back to being boring. Be as boring as possible while still getting the girl. Then you will find your BASELINE. The bare minimum effort required. Once your baseline is established then you can throw on any crazy stuff you want that's congruent to your true self - not because you need to - but only when you want to for your own amusement. You're just being congruent while still being a chill boss, playing it smart and making it relatable and calibrated. Your current mood/state doesn't matter as much here because you can know you can still be boring. You dictate the energy level - not the girl.

Entitlement imo comes when you stop judging girls solely by their looks (drop the 0 - 10 looks scale and just use 0 -1 scale, 0 you wouldn't fuck them and 1 you would) - you have equal fun with any girl in the club - and through progressive desensitization. Just approach and be around hot girls as much as possible until it's not a big deal.

^ True. Not sure about "third phase" though lol 

But yes you should be able to escalate on the finest of bitches whenever it is... "required". 

Do you understand the concept of "prizing your dick"? Do you understand the deeper meaning of it? I think most guys ascribe some sort of superficial haughty look they give to a girl every once in awhile. Derp 

MW, what are you not sure about in the 3rd phase?

I assume you're asking me about the 'dick prizing'. Dick = A literal fuck ton of Value. Offering good emotions, being real, your own uniqueness and your dick all = Value. The deeper meaning of it is your core masculinity and ability to create life. The Masculine/Feminine polarity that creates attraction and brings life into existance. Not to mention the insane whole body orgasms that girls get from getting fucked.

I wasn't talking to you

But no trying to label it as "going back to as boring as possible" is absolutely ridiculous. 

I don't mean you stay boring. I mean you go back to just being "normal" not gamey, so you find a natural baseline. Being the Gorilla instead of the Wolf as Brad would call it.

That is some solid advice guys, thanks.

I think there's a big difference between understanding something on a cognitive, intellectual level and actually embodying that understanding.

I think I understand where 'prizing your dick' comes from.... kinda like 'The way of the superior man' that talks about how you are providing women with a gift of your masculinity when you fuck them. It is what they WANT and so it's them wanting you more than you wanting to take sth from them.

I also get that it has to be more than a  temporary 'frame' you set ... that it has to be a deeply ingrained part of your personality ... rather than a gimmick that portrays high value.

Having said that, understanding this intellectually is so far from REALLY understanding it... which comes from consolidating these ideas into action and into your bodily movements.

Also, anyone can put a girl's hand on his dick but the real prizer of his dick will do it from a truly genuine place and his outlook on himself and women will manifest itself in all kinds of other situations.... and women are obviously extremely apt at picking up on these genuine signals.

Now,  I have put these ideas into action and do understand them on some level... it's just not a constant, permanent part of my personality like I want it to be -- and especially with the really cute girls.

MPGAMEr: I totally get you -- I am over-complicating it. Congruence means congruence to my desires, feelings and intentions in the moment... rather than backing off into socially conditioned self and labelling that as my congruent self. WARMING UP is something I really need to do with more focus.

Oftentimes, I warm up in the club and that's obviously not the best way to go about it. I also see what you're saying about the stages of game.... I fluctuate between those phases all the time... sometimes in the same night... sometimes over weeks. I think I am aware of my innate set point, because I know

my most natural self amongst friends and girls I hang out with... but being truly comfortable with that and always drawing from that solid base in a chaotic nightclub is something I need huge work on. Thanks again :)

So... let's get specific here. WHICH scenarios are you guys finding it harder to "stay congruent" in? Loud clubs.. turbo hotties.. group sets? Unfamiliar situations? Spill it 

Mpgamer just something I wanted to add 'cuz I wrote this up and figured even if it was a bit strong it was better than deleting it.. the reason I didn't put up the last Q&A vid is because I had a huge problem NOT being mean as fuck while addressing your question in the vid. LOL! I made 3 different versions of it and each one I was way too scary with it I didn't want to make it public.

Anyway while we're on the topic of congruence I want to say that once again your question in the Q&A made it clear you were taking the humanity out of the whole motherfucker.

People are always saying "concentrate on the fundamentals", and it's true. But those aren't the fundamentals. You've made these completely one-sided interactions. Where is the woman in this? Go back to being as boring or "normal" as possible? Or try being a human being and having a real and GENUINE interaction with a girl. As of yet I've not seen your gasp of this.

The fundamenals are achieving a state of "no mind" and a good social flow/buzz, having friendly FUN interactions with the people around you, not heeding perceived expectations (which aren't real), being present in your body, and naturally leading through charismatic (inspirational) leadership. From here you get into emotional leadership and seduction. 

Now that's probably a bit more than the fundamentals but THAT is how you want to be thinking. The strong vocals and such you correct on the go.. you don't concentrate on those. Anyway sorry for preaching but this definitely represents your next leap homeboy.

So.. let's discuss a "hot girl's" reality. What's different about it? What is at stake for her? What is different for her? What sort of characteristics does she look for in a guy? Let's not frame this like the rest of the community does.. making them out to be bitches or self-absorbed or stupid or psycho. An object that needs to be gamed.. let's actually see things from her perspective. You'd be surprised what actually matches up. 

I find the hottest girls tend to be nicer, friendlier, more down to earth and appreciative of a sincere compliment or statement of intent.

Congruence=If she could read your intention, does it line up w what you're expressing or are you trying to manage her perception of you?

I go in with a pure, positive, innocent intention. I go out to get retarded w my friends and have fun too. I open them and compliment them, I want to make them feel good about themselves and comfortable meeting a new stranger who's curious about them. I genuinely enjoy finding out things I admire or like in the girl. It makes the seduction congruent because I'm genuinely getting emotionally and sexually turned on by her if we click.

I think what's rare for hot women is meeting a guy who's intentions and self-expressions match. Their level of attractiveness brings up all different kinds of insecurities in different men that manifest in basically no guy being real, fun and normal around them. They don't meet a lot of guys that make them feel comfortable and relaxed around. They don't meet a straight guy who does that and also moves the interaction into a more intimate and sexual direction.

So because of that if you're nice, real, expressive,complimentary, respectful and appreciative of all the cool qualities in her she's very appreciative because that's rare/uncommon in her reality

^ Bad ass.

Loud clubs for me, because constantly speaking at 100% volume strips all emotional nuance from my voice. 

I think the issue is that a lot of guys don't even know who they are, so they don't have much to work with if they're trying to be congruent. 

Take vocal training it'll fix that. It's part of my training program