Connecting Emotionally with them women folk
What up fellas! This has been a sticking point for me lately. How do you guys connect emotionally with a woman, especially when you intend to fuck her the first night (and prefferably keep seeing her).
Well there are many different ways about going about this, here's what often works for me:
3 Main things you gotta fulfill:
- She feels comfortable with you
- She feels relaxed & trusts you
- She realizes you understand her
While going about hitting these criterea having a light-hearted playful attitutde, with an open mind, but still serious is important as well. You are always relaxed and nothing is ever a big deal.
Start off just talking about random things, Where would you travel if anywhere? Just get a vibe going. Then start to go deeper more personal. Then ask about family, brothers sisters. Ask about her relationship with them. Give her positive reinforcement whenever she brings something up that obviously she doesnt tell everyone. ASk about her friends and her relationship with them.... Talk about your own experiences and reflect on them, hopefully you have good stories to reflect upon; but really she should be doing most of the talking. Start to paint a vague picture of her character and have her build up upon it.
Give her the chance to ask you similiar questions too, dont be afraid to open up to her a little bit. She still needs tp feel like she knows you too. Embrace being a goofball and make it clear that you enjoy when she is dorky.
Main idea here is to just dig deep. If she opens a terminal dont be afraid to explore it, ask difficult questions that challenge her. If you get to a point where she is really thinking hard about her answers, that probably is a good thing because it means she wants you to think good of her. Always reinforce positively. Give her motivating ideas to draw from her experiences. Ask about what she is looking for relationship wise, what she likes in a man.
You are doing something right when she tells you "Wow we seriously just met, but it feels like we have known eachother for three months already." - haha I dont even need to explain what that means. IF you can give her the vibe that she feels like a better person aroound you, or wants to be a better person, or knows she will probably become a better person by being around you, then you are golden.
Combine this intamacy with goofing around and eventually you will be having some sort of deep intimate conversation whle amidst a wrestling match of some sort. When you do start escalating give her the old "I only get turned on when girls want it too, I dont want to make you do things you dont wanna do yet" "We can just goof around you trust me right" ... meanwhile doing every move to get her super into it. I mean once you get to this part and are making out, escalating is the easy/fun part. Everyone's got their style. Eventually lay some wood.
Talk about how awesome that was and her personality really surprised you and tell her how she actually is pretty awesome. Tease her and shit and make everything light hearted and what not. Make it clear that its light hearted and that you arent Shrek and Fiona but you still take her seriously as a person. Open ended yah know?
TLDR: Just be chill and keep it real. You shouldn't even have to fake anything.
Post Script: I am sure you know this already AP but for other readers out there; you shouldn't be trying to emotionally connect with just any girl, it depends on the case and ussualy I leave it for the higher quality chicks. If you feel like the girl you are talking to isnt worthy of it then honestly just up your game because you would probably have more success with a higher value chick. Just Belieb in yourself.
I'd say the focus in that ^ is a bit "old skool".
There are other principles at work that make the whole thing fly. E.g. the psychological principle of "Going first", as well being able to define and/or teach her something about herself or simply compliment it in a powerful way.
So I was talking to a Spanish speaking girl last night, I brought up Spanish poetry which I know a little about and she lit up, instant connection. I guess because both of us are actually genuinely interested in the convo, and it's not the same "what do you do" blah blah everyone goes through. (That is the OPPOSITE of connection lol.) Also I find talking about cliche "romantic" things like poetry is usually a safe bet for emotional connection
being able to define and/or teach her something about herself or simply compliment it in a powerful way.
That's the golden nugget of this thread right here.