Cousin's Coworker
So my cousin has this cute, slim coworker with a thick Euro accent. Both work accounting at some firm an hour away.
I met her some time at the beginning of the year while shopping around with my cousin.
Never thought much of her... until she started trying to act like my bratty cousin (love her though) and tool me: insinuating i should do favors for her because i'm a man (hold her purchases), my laid back body language was apparently gay, etc.
Fast forward to a few weeks, my cousin alerted me she would be in town for the evening with her friend. I asked her "which one?"
When I found out, I texted her "Gotcha, tell her she has to get me the first drink. I'll get her on the second". Of course we later meet at the club and Euro girl gives me shit for it. Don't care. After some reluctance, I told Euro we were hanging out, that I know I whoop her weak ass at bowling. She took the bait but thought or insisted (not sure) we would go as a group. HELL NAW. I made ot clear it was just us, then grabbed the digits anyways.
I bounced the group to another venue. A mix of interesting stuff went down. The one that stood out the most was when my housemate isolated my cousin off the dance floor. Euro saw everyone was gone then asked me if I wanted to join them outside or stay here. I told her we'd stay here. She got more receptive to my physical advances, but I didnt kiss her or do anything fancy. If anything i felt like i left her wanting more. I also put it in her head that other girls were hating on us, because a few of them were straight staring over like "GOD WHO IS THAT GUY??" and she was seeing that. On a side note she also never wanted to admit her age because i'm 22. Housemate later told me she's almost in her mid 30s.... lel. She looks MUCH younger.
At the end of it all, we grabbed burritos before going our separate ways. Now I should be seeing her tomorrow to seal the deal. Here is our text transcript, wish me luck!:
4/24/2015:
Me: Ghettoguru
Me: Whoop your ass at bowling
Girl - 4 hrs 11 mins later: We just arrived, I left ur cousin home and safe
Girl: I will whoop my ass at bowling.. Watch urs!!!!!
Me - 1 week 1 day later: I was going to make an anal joke, butt fuck it. What's up with you missy?
Girl - 53 mins later: Hello dance partner! All good here. Just going to the gym
Girl: How about u?
Me - 7 mins later: I just got off work really tired but im about to do work on my car :)
Me: I don't recall you telling me you work out?
Girl - 1 hr 24 mins later: Ha I told u!... I do spinning but lately I stared to do weights
Girl: Wanna have better legs!
Girl: (Sorry my mom called)
Girl - 7 mins later: What r u doing? Did u work today?
Me - 3 mins later: Sent a pic of a super buff dude with thick calves attached with "Your workout goals?"
Im fixing a door panel rattling in my car :p
Girl - 2 mins later: That is no fun ;-(
Girl: I am looking to buy a car
Girl: Was just online checking cla250 (Mercedes)
Girl: I think I will buy that!
Me - 2 mins later: Ohhh got fancy taste don't ya? Welcome to the club!
Me: It's fine, i like getting handsy on my baby
Girl - 1 min later: I do! I have expensive t
Girl: Excuse my poor English but what is "to get handsy on my baby"!
Me - 12 mins later: LOL you're too cute. It means that i like working on my car
Girl - 2 mins later: taste
Girl: Haha
Girl: I like Miami Campbell legs!!!! That is the target
Girl - 1 min later: Haha
Girl: I was just thinking could have been that
Girl: My English is poor
Girl: (I know you can do car work so I will keep u in mind!!$
Me - 11 mins later: Well i will demand a grilled cheese sandwich and a soothing massage after my work
Me: I like grilled cheese sandwiches and massages
Girl - 7 mins later: Haha u r too cute
Girl: Grilled cheese sandwiches, there is always a first time for such a demand
Me - 11 mins later: Wait wait, you're saying you have never made one before??
Girl: Nope, never
Me - 3 mins later: What am going to do with you urggghh
Me: We're getting groceries when i head up there lol
Girl - 3 mins later: Crazy guy
Me - 6 mins later: Thanks
Me: We're still down for drinks and bowling this coming week or nah?
Girl - 4 mins later: Yes, sure...let's organize
Girl: Have u talked to Rosine? SEE RIGHT HERE AGAIN SHE THINKS MY COUSIN IS GOING TO BE IN THE MIDDLE OF ALL THIS. NAH NAH NAH.
Girl: Pool is fine with me too
Me - 17 mins later: I haven't, i'll call you later
Girl: Ok;)
Me - 1 hr 37 mins later: Dork (I CALLED HER BUT NO RESPONSE, SO I TEXTED HER THIS RIGHT AFTER)
Girl - 2 mins later: What's that?
Girl: That is an insult
Girl: Means jerk, a person that socially misfit
Girl: Is actually bad
Girl - 1 min later: Have u just call or was a pocket dial?
Girl - 2 mins later: ????
Me: I actually DID call
Me: !!!!
Girl - 4 mins later: Called but I didn't pick up
Me - 1 min later: LOL i didn't recognize the number
Me: Dial again
Girl: This cell has poor signal that is why I use my work cell phone
So she gave me a buzz and chatted for 15mins. I immediately called her out on calling me from a different phone and accusing her of having a bunch of side dudes, shit was funny.
She said she has a bigger/ better ass than my cousin, I was HIGHLY skeptical of that and told her I would have to do some inspection myself. She said she still owed me a drink lol. She wasn't sure about our arrangement because she was afraid my cousin would get mad if we didn't invite her. I told her my cousin wouldn't care, God knows what the truth really is. To be honest, I would rather my cousin not knowing what i'm cooking up. Finally I told her it's best to hang out the week after (which is today). She called me out saying that i'm scheduling her so far away because i'm busy with other girls LOL. That was her gut feeling because her ex cheated (who was also black) and would do something very similar. In a sassy manner, i flipped it around like "WOOOOW! WOOOOWWWW! I can't believe this is happening right now! unbelievable.... Now you're trying to punish me and judge me based off of something your a dude a have no connections did, blah blah blah" (Bateman did something like this recently?? I lost the post) That seemed to do the trick.
5/9/2015
Me: Sup dork ;) we're still on for tmr or nah?
Girl - 56 mins later: Hey kid! Sure
Girl - 5 mins later: Plans?
Girl - 31 mins later: Are u working today? I may go to sephora
Girl: Just want to know to see if I can stop to say hi
Girl: :-)
Me - 22 mins later: Ya
Me - 5 hrs 2 mins later: Plans for what, Tomorrow?
Girl: Yep
Me - 1 min later: Let's meet up in front of ***** on lower state street before heading to The ******
Me: And/or **********
Girl: Sounds good
I called her immediately after her text. It was brief.
I pretty much talked about my long shift and how sore I am from walking all over the place. She agreed to giving me a massage ;)
'k see where it goes. I've got thoughts on this but you may pull it off..
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
Ha I pulled it off a few nights ago at her place,
I'll give a write up some time this weekend
LOL 1 month later.... sigh.
The first 1 on 1 meet happened back in April so I don't remember everything.
She drove about 60 miles over to my place that Sunday evening. I briefly showed her around topless before driving us 15mins to the bar in my car ;)… The whole ride there we were doing some getting to know each other. It turns out she’s a terrible driver. She damaged her company car 2x in a week , then had the audacity to offer to drive my car back if I got too drunk. HA! Ok.
We got to the bar. She slipped me cash for this drink called "sex on the beach" for both of us. I called her out on having kinky thoughts and told her to behave. We got our drinks, coins, and headed to the pool table. No more than 5mins in, one of the guys working at the bar walked over to us and laid a sealed magnum condom on a table. He thought it may have been mine. I responded with a casual “Oh… OK” before turning back to the pool table. It was really mine lol. After an hour and a half of talking shit, spanking her, losing to her at foosball and pool, I got bored. I ended up kissing her on our way back to my house after downing some ice cream.
Side tracking here real quick: Basically in the past I’ve had a few girls that were on the fence about following me back home nearby for whatever reason. I would say something to the extent of “ok I’m going home”/ imply that I don’t care if they didn’t follow. I would turn around then walk away without looking back. 3 out of 4 girls ended up running after me and following me. I can’t put into words why it has worked in those instances, maybe some of you more experienced guys can explain. Anyways that is EXACTLY what happened here because she implied she was going home. Easy for her to pull that off since our cars were parked side by side. I walked away. “Where are you going?” she asked (She prob thought I was going to hug her goodbye lol). “I’m walking back inside” She followed me back. We got in, I told her she can get comfortable and feel free to use the bathroom. Use the bathroom she did. We made out some more in my shared room. My T shirt and her blouse came off. I was greeted by some big titties I couldn’t stop playing with. She protested to mr putting her hand on my hard dick, talking about how it's not fair and that i can't do this to her LOL.
Urrgh… whatever. I rolled over and she was more than happy to give me a massage. I work and stand 8hrs a day okay!? Not too long after one of my housemates basically barged inside the house and scared her off lol. I could have been handled this better. We kissed goodbye, then texted over a period of a few days. I eventually went MIA because she hinted at my cousin we were flirting. My cousin found out and blew up my phone. Since my cousin is in her career stage she does not want any potential drama. To top that off my girlfriend was about to visit from Sweden, so yeah… Fuck.
The end of November was around the corner and my cousin moved on to another job. To top that off my girlfriend went back to Sweden. We've always had a mutual agreement to see whoever we want when she's away. With that said I hopped on Facebook one day and found Argentina on there. We messaged each other for a brief moment on there before moving the convo to the phone:
11/21 FACEBOOK
ME: So uhm.... Did your butt stay smaller than *cousin's name* since I saw you? Or did you actually commit to the gym and growing it out?
HER: Is it smaller really? Though I can afford some sort of competition. How is work kid?
ME: I don't know it's been months lol. Work is busy and fucking awesome! I just got promoted, so you're going to have to call me sir when we see each other again ;)
HER: I am so happy for you. Then you are officially a sir!!! Next time we should go dancing!
ME: Haha you got my attention. Send me your number i got a new phone. In Santa Barbara or Santa Maria?
HER: Haha ok *Number* Dancing?
ME: Yeah
HER: Santa Barbara! I want to go dancing. How you been? How is school?
ME: Cool! I just moved downtown
HER: Nice!! With your same roommates?
ME: Yeah it's temporary. We plan to get our place in January, we'll see how that goes
HER: Congrats! Happy for you! I just bought a car!! A loaded C300! Is in production so it's coming for Xmas
ME: Never test drove the new C class but I assume it's nice
HER: Yes. Is white outside and inside in black with white leather seats. I will show u
ME: Good, you can chauffeur me around. Open the doors for me too
HER: Geez ur so demanding :P. Not sure about that last one but I will take you for a ride. What are u doing?
ME: Mhmm i'm still waiting on that grilled cheese sandwich and ANOTHER massage. It's boys' night out.
HER: Haha well u were the one who deleted me off ur chicks list
ME: LOL.
ME: I see you trying to make me feel bad ;)
HER: Lol, Why did u? Can't believe u trashed my number
HER: Thought we were cool friends at least :(
ME: Oh stop it you remind me of my little niece ;P
HER: Is ok i still have urs. So I will do a grill cheese sandwich
ME: Ok
HER: Has to be before I move to L.A. Looking for jobs there.
HER: Actually u were the one to grill the sandwich and i was the one to give u a massage
ME: Ah ok well i'm driving up to go see *cousin* for Thanksgiving. What's Wednesday evening looking like?
HER: I'll be home
From this point on it was a matter of calling her to finish setting shit up. I rolled over to hers on Thanksgiving eve, gave her a kiss on the cheek and got comfortable.
She had everything set up and ready for a young boss. Heater on, blankets, cheese and salami platter, and wine. I should mention at this point that this girl makes a lot of cocky (unreal at times) claims and secretly operates on validation hardcore just to test me. That shit gets annoying after a while imo. Anyways As a result she loves my challenge and skeptism. She likes the fact that i'm grounded in what I believe and there is not much she can say/do to veer me off. She hasn't changed since i first met her lol. So at some point we were cuddling on the couch with her trying to keep me warm, i got horny. I mean i had hot body in super soft PJs with ass backed up against my trousers while watching TV, i wasn't going to resist. I ended up pushing her off me then lifted her to bring her upstairs. I told her she had some showing around to do as i hadn't seen her masterbedroom. Then the weak objections started flying my way to the extent of "What about the movie? We were supposed to finish it!/ The food is still out/ the lights are still on" I shrugged and told her would be back in 5mins. We got to the masterberoom were she all of a sudden turned into this vulnerable kitten, talking about i'm making her nervous. We ended up fucking once i slowed things down because i was going too fast. Jesus man, I was already naked by the time her shirt came off :/.... Lights were off while this was happening and I figured she was insecure about her body. During the sex I emphasized her sexy i thought her body was and how it turned me on. What eventually happened was she was WAY more comfortable being naked around me every time I would show up. I walk around her house naked all the time :D
Anyways dreat experience with a great woman overall. We've been fuckbuddies for a minute now and she's cool with the fact that i'm in an open relationship. I just may have to seed a threesome once the main boo makes it back ;)
Thanks for the write up
I liked the part about just walking inside and assuming she is going to follow, great way of setting the social narrative.