Date Goes Horrible But Girl Still Hits Me Back?
I had a date yesterday which I'm pretty sure went extremely bad (my wing called it "cringeworthy", yet the girl texted me today thanking me for yesterday and asking how my night went.
Basically it was a pretty cute brown girl I met a couple of months ago in daygame, and we've been texting each other since we met, and she's been out of town, but she finally was in town so we made plans to meet for drinks.
We meet at the street corner, I immediately hug her. We go to the bar to a dark booth near the back. She sits across me, I should have just told her to sit next to me, but I didn't. However, we got a couple o beers, we were vibing pretty decently, getting to know each other.
I figure that I need to get her to sit beside me so I tell her to come sit next to me because I wanted to show her photos. So she sits next to me while I show the photos, but then she moves because she says its easier to talk from across...
Anyways, after like a hour, I decide that the best is to bounce her back to my place because its better than sitting across at this bar.
I tell her we're going to pre drink with my buddies because we're all going to go out to a club and she should come pre drink with us. I also said my friend had a Tinder date and we were going to help wing him(he didn't end up pulling his date). She was enthusiastic about that. Anyways I take her to my place, we go in. At this point I'm already pretty buzzed from a couple of beers, and I'm pretty sure she's more sober than me.
Our place is a basement, and a bit messy. I had cleaned it up a bit before the date, but there was still a lot of shit around. I didn't know it but this girl is 6 years older than me.
My buddy is there, and I have him chill with us so she gets comfortable cause I can tell she's a bit uncomfortable. We make more drinks and basically chill in one of the rooms. I didn't realize this but basically I'm getting way drunker than her cause my tolerance is shit as compared to hers......
Anyways my physcality is supposely really bad, and I'm drunk so I'm kindoff uncalibrated. Basically, I did a lot of shoulder touches and hugs, I honestly have no idea why I was doing that because it would have been better if I just talked because according to my friend it just made her uncomfortable. Basically, she wasn't into it at all, so there wasn't much escalatoin going on. I take her to my room and dance with her and try to makeout with her but she turns away. I can tell its pretty much done so I just chill back.
According to my main wing who saw some of it when he was chilling with us, she was not into it at all, and it just seemed like I was being very needy. He said I just wanted it to happen way too bad, and that I didn't seem to really like my girl.
I pretty much expected her to not hit me up but she did. I'm not sure what's going on. From what it sounded like, I completely fucked up this date.
What my buddy said-
-I was way too needy and it seemed like I really wanted to make it happen. I wasn't giving her any room to chase.
-She wasn't receptive to my physicality at all. It seemed like I was trying to make physicality happen to turn her on.
-It didn't seem like I actually liked her, and that I pretty much just wanted to bang her, and she could probably sense it. To be honest, I did like this girl, but every time I go on a date nothing ever happens so I guess I was just way too focused on making it happen.
What I think I did wrong-
-No physicality at the bar or on the way to the place.
-I should have just chilled at our place, and gotten her to chase me a little bit.
-I should have been prizing myself. I was being a thirsty hoe. I need to really get go of caring whether it happens or not. According to my wing, I'm thirsty as fuck whenever I pull girls back to our place and that kills my game.
At this point, I"m wondering why she messaged me back. I'll feel it out but I have a feeling she's just being nice. I'm just feeling like an idiot over the whole thing, and I realize I need to go on a LOT of dates to make them go down smoother.
Maybe she likes you and is being forgiving about it because of that.
I feel like you're stressing yourself out trying to game more and not allowing yourself to be present and just enjoy the conversation with them which screwed up this interaction a bit. And you're also not trusting that the girl will naturally be attracted to you as a function of spending time with you and you keeping it man to woman while building comfort. I think this is creating a lot of anxiety, self doubt.
I just had 2 girls I'm friends with 3 way call me last night and tell me they want to go to a sex party together with me and my best friend. Both had been fucked by a friend before so I written them off sexually but still enjoyed conversation with them and just naturally was sexually expressive at time. With them it's not even about gaming them just genuinely enjoy their company and talking with them, we were all on the phone for an hour and we're gonna talk again. Cool girls.
Check out Alex's videos. One is the 10 commandments of game the other is the you are enough manifesto or something. Really high level shit that had me see a lot of what I thought was the girl thinking I had bad game was just symptoms of a girl feeling nervous around me.
Its weird, I went on another date, but this time I didn't go for the kiss at all. I was being the opposite where i was too scared to go for the makeout because of how badly I escalated next time. It was dumb.... Still feel it ended up fairly well considering I was meeting her in her suburb (Since i had an interview there right before), so I didn't really have logistics or anything. Pretty sure I can see her again and this time drink with her near my place, and then try to bang her.
I guess the sweet spot is somewhere in the middle. I suck at dates, but I'm going to try go on a ton of them so I can figure them out and make sex go down consistently. I've been a horrible closer lately.