Date report - She cut it short, need some feedback on this one
I'll probably post the entire convo up (especially if I can get the text uploader going) but not sure if its needed. So 25 year old career student who is just shifting into a therapy job. She wants to help little kiddies how sweet is that. The photos she had were pretty bad aha she is much better looking in person, and quite smart/sweet, good conversationalist, all the good things you want for dating material. Pro Yogi. She messaged me first on tinder "hi ice" and I took it from there. It was pretty superficial but flirty, we just touched on the basics (what we do for work). Set up a little roleplay where she was going to be my sexy secretary at work, she qualified herself and then I got her number - here is the last part of the tinder convo -
her: Im down for a VP position
me: text me your resume babe 555-5555, Im just going to step out this app is a little annoying aha
her: ugh thank god you said that....
me: help me take over the world huh :) (in reply to her VP text, sent in quick succession)
off tinder on text
her: Let's take over the world together?
me: that's the plannn
me: all fresh and clean after the gym? aha what're you up to tonight
her: HA still need to go.... watching netflix duh
her: what about you
me: haha I definitely didn't go yet either, just finished up work and crushed this amazing portuguese chicken
her: apparently we are really bad at getting that summer bod thing going. ooooo yum
me: my summer bod is already carved out of stone, ill just be glad to get some color before hitting the beach
me: hmm if we want to take over the world we should probably step up our workouts
me: netflix and cardio > netflix and chill. should do the trick
her: yes it should
me: where are you netflixing at
me: I just hopped outta the shower but I can shoot over
her: my apartment! are you booty calling me sir <---- (I was :) the shoot over text might seem out of context but earlier on tinder we were talking about sexy secretary outfits, it was pretty flirty and mildly sexual. Wondering how I handled the next couple texts and more importantly, if I handled it differently if I could have gotten laid that night. Logistically it probably wasn't in the cards but worth shooting for. Weeknight and was already getting late.)
me: if thats your idea of a hard cardio session then I suppose so
me: unless its past your bedtime, I also look scrubby so if you don't mind aha
her: ha:) its going to have to be another night since I am working out now. I dont mind scrubby ;)
me: haha you did get that booty to the gym afterall! Too bad we'll save it for another night then, your spring bod definitely looks hawt tho ;)
her: good things are worth the wait, aren't they?
me: usually the case, but Im not known to be the most patient person
her: got to learn a bit of paitence my friend
**flirted a bit more, she said she thinks she easy on the eyes and would've liked to see me all scrubby. I talk about being an angel and waiting cause it'll be worth it once I peel off her workout clothes... she says she the angel and Im the devlish one, I tell her its a product of working at home 'idle hands are the devils playthings' --- its around midnight and we've been texting for over an hour, we decide to go to bed**
That was thursday I think, before the weekend at least. She already said she is meeting with her girlfriends this weekend besides I already had plans. I text her early this (sunday) afternoon -
me: whats up cute stuff
me: how was your wknd so far
me: Im having a lazy sunday after drinking beer in the sun at the dog park all day yesterday
her: hey there
her: its been good :) yours?
her: perfect day for that
me: what did you and your girlies get up to
me: Im trying to plan out the rest of my day, if I want to hang out with a friend or stay in bed all day cause next week is a busy one
her: oh you know, just basic girl crap
her: usual sunday routine. groceries, workout, yoga
me: yoga too gawddamn that is a pretty picture
her: easy boy *smirk* ya Im a true yogi believe it or not
me: your fav exercise Im assuming
me: I never do yoga but its probably the thing I need most after working out
me: I do have a stretching routine if that counts
her: yes happens to be, ever done it?
her: dont worry, its not something you need to be good at
her: its amazzzinggg can't live without it
me: it does, does it? then I am a practitioner too
me: regular yogi and didn't even know it
her: well, I'll be the judge of that
me: hmm you're going to judge my yoga routine huh
me: only if I get to inspect your moves
her: nooo I would never. Just critque you
her: maybe ill let you
me: im all open for feedback, sounds fantastic actually
me: although there are much more intersting practices we can get up to once your all limbered up <----- (So we already went pretty sexual the other night and I almost went straight over to get laid (I think lol) was going sexual again the smart move? I know the general consensus here is no sexting before sex, and since I went for the homerun the other night IDK if this was overkill or not. I probably just should've set up the date and left it at that. More details during the date report but I think putting the pretense of tantric sex in the air before meeting up might have messed it up lol. Because the date was more of a drop off from here, instead of a steady escalation. Although I didn't know we'd be hanging out later this day, I might have gone for the homerun/booty call again... so Im not sure if this was a good move or not)
her: you think so *smirk*
her: has it been easy for you to get girls when you chat them up like this? <---- (i've seen this from her at least once before if not a few times in the tinder convo... She is very open and even initiated flirty/sexual banter but then disqualfies herself as anti-slut defense kicks in, or pumps the breaks/shit tests me if I kept things ONLY sexual and didn't talk enough about real stuff. Wondering how I handled the next couple texts too.)
me: I know so *smooch*
me: why do you ask, cause its working so smoothly on you ;p
her: ahhhh you think its working well kiddo
me: Im probably not as promiscious as I seem <---- (So yeah, as I mentioned at this point we didn't talk too much about ourselves and mostly just stuck to flirty and sexual banter with some superficial real talk mixed in. Its why I definitely was coming off as a horn dog with not much interest in her specifcally)
me: definitely into quality over quantity
her: ahah cause you seem promiscious
her: well thats good, Im into the same
me: well I am relaxing on a sunday afternoon thinking about your yoga moves and damn...
me: can't seem to help myself
her: I dont blame you
her: im not a beginner
me: gunna drive me crazy today, I want to see these pro moves. kind of a turn on
me: plus you help children during the day and practice yoga by night, you're at least a half way quality person *wink**smooch* <----- (Qualified her here. Aka I like what I see so far, although I don't know you too well... yet)
her: only half way?? well you need to get to know me better
her: never thought of yoga as a turn on
her: but now I see why
me: *wink* yeah I think I do
me: are you kidding? my goodness
her: *coy smile emoji*
me: no one has ever put your skills to the test then huh
her: well its just always been exercise but I get it now ;)
*I say she looked petite in her pictures, she asks me my height, and I ask for hers. then shift into #realtalk, she has a distant area code and I ask her where she is from, she talks about hometown, where she moved to school and what she is doing now in my city. I ask if she knows many people here or has been around the city much. we make future plans to do all the tourist stuff - bars/restaurants/sight seeing/concerts, all of the above, etc. First time we chat about ourselves sans flirting*
me: have you done your groceries and worked out yet
me: I just need to pick up coffee, none left for next week
her: i have yes
her: coffee mmmmmm
me: I was all out this morning, had tea but its not doing it.
me: lets grab some and you can teach me some yoga
her: sure!
her: but Im strictly teaching you <----- (Not really sure what she meant by this. No tantric sex? Just yoga lessons? Ok sounds good, just sailing towards a meetup anyways)
me: just go easy on me, its my first time
her: aha ok fine
*blah blah blah, address, chat about the neighbourhood, etc*
Date o'clock! I park near her place (I don't have an exact address, plus she is in an apartment) and text her to come meet me. She is waiting outside a starbucks and I made her jump jokingly since she had her head in her phone. I give her a nice hug (no kiss on the cheek. always a derp move, since it works so damn well any time I do it and I'm pretty sure this specifically has resulted in very fast escalation for me). I walk down the block with her to show her a cute coffee spot that she doesn't know is there. She buys me mine since I met her and says she believes in going dutch <3. We take our coffees and chill in a nearby park. Talk about work, school, people watch and play with some nearby dogs. It is getting cold so we walk back to my car to grab my sweater, walk around the block chatting, then chill some more on a nearby park bench. All of these locations are within a five minute walk of each other and near her apartment. I'm pretty sure the conversation was on point. Got to know each other, flirted, we laughed - or least I made myself laugh aha, but it did lack a bit of DICK. Especially considering the texting and roleplay we had going on. It was congruent to what was going on the date, but maybe a slightly different vibe then who was texting her. And this is what I mentioned a bit earlier in the cliffnotes in the text above - I wonder if taking it sexual again was a mistake, because it actually deflated going into the date instead of a smooth escalation.
So where things got into booty call territory last week, this week would have been better if I just chatted and set the date without getting flirty. If this was just a regular date, or had I not brought up the sexts, things would've been ON that's for sure. Pretty good date overall - bit of flirting, connected on a bunch of mutual interests, got to know each other, nerded out a bit, laughed, taught her some stuff (authority), etc. But instead of getting down to business we are now on a park bench talking about psychology (it is a small part of what her degree is in).... When we left my car we started walking towards her place, so I thought it was natural if I just walked towards there, she would let us in for yoga times. But she suggested we sit down on the way and in retrospect started to look/act a bit different. She was no longer really with me on the date but just making small talk. After a couple minutes she confesses she hates to do this (cause we were only together a bit over an hour) but she isn't feeling the greatest and needs to go chill at home. She seemed genuine about it - but Im also spectical because this is my go to move to bail on a coffee date if things aren't going well LOL. She apologized like three times and even said she got gut problems. So either a) she was being sincere, liked how the date was going and just needed to cut it short or b) my paranoia about the lack of dick/incongruence to the texts is correct and she cut it short on purpose cause she thought I wouldn't escalate on her or she didn't like the vibe I was putting down. So she apologized the last time and said she'll walk me to my car - no talk about future plans. I say she is the one who is feeling sick, I'll walk her up the block to her apartment... She insists though. Hmm, not wanting to show me where she lives? We chat some more and at my car she gives me a pretty long hug and buries her head into my chest, I give her a quick peck on the cheek before saying bye. The physicality suggests she likes me but IDK something feels off as well.
I texted her an hour after me: home sweet home. I wouldn't have lasted much longer either, I didn't eat before I met you. I was ok with the coffee but am starving now. <--- So maybe not the greatest post-date text either. Was pretty in my head analyzing things when I sent that too, although i cooled off and relaxed a bit after being home. All good now.
That was a couple hours ago and shes usually pretty quick to reply. This is the one time where after a first date and things don't go sexual that I am glad to imagine the girl crapping her guts out or with a head in the toilet LOL. Thoughts? Would love some feedback on the texts and what went on during the date. Wondering if I came off as douche (again) over texts but that is what she was searching for, and I came off as nice guy during the date. And if my suspicions are correct, if there is a possibility of recovering this for another date? I can provide more details/texts if needed but I think I covered everything. Thanks for reading guys.
The melatonin I took was kicking in half way through typing that up yesterday lol, after sleeping on it I am near 95% certain of what I fudged up on the date. Small but critical mistake. Curious to see if anyone can see what it was or if we're on the same page.
Looks to me like you're overanalyzing. The txts were fine but you built up this yoga thing way too much and it seems like it got to your head on the date.
IDK where this idea of not sexting before a date is coming up because I'm 100% certain MW was talking about a specific context. There is absolutely nothing wrong with sexual escalation over text...never ever. Just see how down the girl is when you're texting her and be cool about it.
Read some of my old txt convos (the ones that went good lol). I'm like always talking about spanking girls and giving them anal or something lol. It's how you manage the sexuality that counts.
Did you escalate on the date? Pick her up and shank her? Teabagging is a nice choice as well. I don't see anything with that going on. You got in your own way zippityzoo :/
Jihad said most of what I wanted to say.
Why'd you meet up for coffee tho? lol. seemed like you were on the fast track, agreed to a date where logistics aren't ideal, and most importantly didn't handle biz in person. i think the underlying reason as to WHY you didn't step up is the true reason i think your date went south. [ Entitlement issues w/her? ] Seemed like you played it safe versus playing to win.
Try reengaging her at some point.
Isn't no sexting before sex one of the 19 rulez? Rules are meant to be broken, I've done it before with success. But I do think its a good principle. (You even brought it up in one of those LRs and said it was risky lol but it worked out and she had a crazy hot body)
Definitely overanalyzing but wanted to post up the texts and report anyways, the rest was just my thoughts on the drive home. But only after - leading up to and on the date I wasn't really in my head at all, but I wasn't exactly horny either at least for most of it. Maybe we texted about yoga too much but meh, some of it was just banter and the rest was just sexts/flirting.
Soooo yeah - I read those 2/3 tinder LRs you have quickly again I think they all have sexting before the meetup. They also had this ONE important thing, which I even mentioned was missing in my OP. Pretty sure this is where things were at a tipping point. On both of them you greeted them with a damn kiss on the cheek! Gawddammit that move is so key for me its unreal.
To answer your question, yeah I did escalate a bit. We were only together an hour-ish and during that time I rustled her hair, stood with my crotch against her's while we sat on a stool and had my hands on her, we were stopped at a crosswalk and I forget what I was saying but I put my hand around the back of her neck, pulled her in and kissed the top of her head. Then wrapped my hand around her waist and led her across the street. Maybe it was all playing catchup? Idk cause if it wasn't cut short I would've definitely made stuff happen. The kiss upon meeting is so damn key, it just frames the rest of the time right.
Why'd you meet up for coffee tho? lol. seemed like you were on the fast track, agreed to a date where logistics aren't ideal, and most importantly didn't handle biz in person. i think the underlying reason as to WHY you didn't step up is the true reason i think your date went south. [ Entitlement issues w/her? ] Seemed like you played it safe versus playing to win.
Try reengaging her at some point.
Word, thanks for the feedback guys.
The coffee date, with the booty call thing a couple days prior it did seem like she wouldn't have been down to just invite myself over to her apartment. Whenever the sexts (on the stuff I posted here and on tinder) got too real or playerish, she backtracked (Im not like that, is this what you say to all the girls, does this work a lot for you). Then it was confirmed when I met her in person, although she was down for kinky sex she definitely seems like the type to meet in a public area as a rule. Coffee then yoga at her place seemed like a pretty guaranteed option to get things going logistically.
Nah I don't think there was entitlement issues. Back at her place I would've taken her down smoother than a cobra. I think the lack of biz handling traced back to not kissing her on the cheek and getting handsy *right away.* Seems insignificant and minor repeating that point but has literally been the difference between super fast escalations and not getting laid on the first date in times past.
Probably should have overcame that regardless. Maybe she just needed to go home and eat TUMS in peace. Haha.
Definitely just going to hit her up in a couple days and either try to go to her place or take her out for a COCKtail
Isn't no sexting before sex one of the 19 rulez? Rules are meant to be broken, I've done it before with success. But I do think its a good principle. (You even brought it up in one of those LRs and said it was risky lol but it worked out and she had a crazy hot body)
It IS..! Lol. The original, but years ago after all you mofo's stole my sexting lines and started using them on new girls with such amazing success I had to backtrack on that. Crazy the way that all went down
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
I'm honestly pretty sure about 85% of all "sexting" in the community, which dispersed to sites like bodybuilding/misc and other such places then hit mainstream, originated from this forum. ;). I really didn't see any other communities or resources coming out with anything the last ten years.
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
The texting is good but every once and a while your sneaking in some lower value concepts. For example you said something about "Netflix and cardio > Netflix and chill." Sounds like you sexually disqualified yourself. Then the "I'm probably not as promiscuous as a seem...quality over quantity" just sounds kinda apologetic.
The texted worked though so no worries. I think jihad and Aequias nailed it on date advice.
^ She was already netflix and chilling, so switching it to a combined activity and adding cardio was a hint towards a bootycall. But I see what're your getting at otherwise.
So I texted her right after the date then again a couple days later with something like: (I was late to meet her for coffee cause I was stuck in traffic so the last thing we texted about what traffic and the cool ass billboard tied to the truck I was stuck beside)
me: Ugh the one down side to summer, construction season on the highways. Struck in traffic again
me: Can't wait till I can build an elon musk tunnel across the city for my batmobile
me: hows your day been treating you so far
Tried to reenage a couple days later.... No reply. 8==/==D ): She is definitely disappointed I didn't dick her down the first day, slipped in terms of physical escalation.
Should I reenage again? And again, and again until she replies or asks politely to delete her number?
I've listened to the first half of the hangout, but still have to take notes from Jihad's (and aequitas?) discussion on text game. There was some gold in there based on the different texting modalities I want to intregrate into my texting.
As long as you didn't give her a weird vibe or she felt like she didn't like something about you in person I'm thinking you could reengage again.
I would've saved the third reengage text for after she responded to your tunnel text. If she didn't reply within a few hours a follow up usually works for me. Either some playful/silly or disapprovalish reason for her not replying.
If you didnt follow up engage again later, something with a little more 'umph'.
Anything new to add?
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male