Dealing with LMR - Thoughts Appreciated
Hey guys – got another situation to pick your brain(s) about.
So after really considering everything that was said in my previous post – regarding not needing screening and instead just really taking responsibility for the interaction (again, versus say blaming the “screening process” for failing) – I found that my success really jumped. On the last 4 dates I’ve been on since, I’ve had great success/sexual experiences with all of them.
Last night’s problem however was a bit different for me however. Basically, without getting into the small details, everything went down pretty textbook on the date. Fun, physical, flirtatious, sexual etc.. Except for the fact that she wouldn’t kiss me in the bar. I went a couple of times to kiss her – first time I felt her body had suddenly stiffened and didn’t want to PUSH her head into me, second time she cheeked me. Afterwards we left and went back to my place for a drink – which she happily agreed to.
We had a smoke, poured up some drinks, and then started touching her body and was finally fully making out. Before she kissed me she asked me if I was clean – which I am. I asked her about it briefly after and she agreed that she was afraid of STDs when she didn’t kiss me earlier. We then went on the couch, turned on the TV and had the drink. We were kissing and feeling up on each other’s bodies quite a lot – I was rubbing on her bagina from her jeans, and after a minute or two of that went to go under them, and then grabbed my hand and moved it back to her back/stomach. This was washed, rinsed and REpeated a number of times. After the first try, she was like “I don’t want to do anything tonight..” – it wasn’t abrupt at all, but a few moments after we slowed down after the first “session”.
Again, tried a few more times and nodda. After some time she said she should go home, but then we kept hanging out on the couch and were kissing/touching again. Same deal. Eventually she left, everything was on good terms. Just said that’s cool – no worries. Took her downstairs and got an uber or her. Joked with the driver about how she has special needs (;p), kissed her and sent her on her way to where she parked about 10-15 minutes away walking (she drove about 30 minutes to come see me, parked downtown). She then sent me some silly snap chat of her driving home and a was saying “I’m home J you’re pretty fun” in text after.
Now to me – I think it had to do with how I was escalating. Primarily, the fact that I kept going for HER body, placing the responsibility of it “happening” more on her. Furthermore, she didn’t want to be that vulnerable with me that MOMENT, and instead needing more warming up to, sexually. In retrospect what would’ve been more useful (I think), is to put the focus on ME. As an example, putting her hand on MY cock, so the responsibility was instead on ME, making it simpler for her to relax and get into it. From there, I’m guessing things wouldn’t happened a bit more, smoothly.. I think she was just feeling too much of the pressure was on her, now that I really think about. (MW we talked about this before – you mentioned this briefly one time with me).
This kind of thing hasn’t really happened for me too often as of late (as they wouldn’t even make it as far as coming back) – but it’s definitely god damn mind boggling when it does. Like JEEZ! But anyways.. Would love to get to the bottom of this. Those were my thoughts (barring the fact that she just had some personal issue of her own that was blocking her) - I did find it odd that she agreed to drink at my place afterword.
Any thoughts you guys might have would be greatly appreciated !
Yeah you need to start incorporating "prize kino", e.g. simply prizing your physicality. It takes place even before that, with proximity, how you move your body, place your hands, look at her, the poses/stances you make. This all imparts a message to her.
But you ALSO need to sort of "call her out" on it. Don't get into an argument, keep your masculine polarity on point, but flesh that shit out and straighten her the fuck out she needed it. I had a girl try it the other night on me. Hell no, I made her see things my way. She'd gotten the wrong idea about something it needed to be corrected.
Hmm, interesting. Is there any info that gets a bit more in depth on this topic? For example, in retrospect, I definitely spent too much time touching her, holding her, being body to body with her on the couch, etc. At a certain point, again in retrospect, she knew that I'd keep macking on her without her deserving it/needing to even ask - which isn't good. It got too predictable. At the same time, I didn't want to completely pull back entirely as I didn't want her to get the impression that I was being really emotionally affected by her not going further with me (I personally feel those "freezeouts" as they were called are pretty hit or miss/can do more harm than help). I'm still not too clear on this topic, although perhaps what’s more important is your second point, which leads me to it:
I was totally considering doing this in the moment - but feared that getting logical/”confrontational” with her at that precise moment would be the clincher ending any possibility.. How do you do something like this effectively? Are there any articles/examples on this too, anywhere? I thought of basically telling her, listen: you drove down here to come see me, had a decent amount of drinks and then agreed to come back to my place all the while we're flirting hard/making out/groping each other..like wtf? this is highly unusual behavior, and I don't appreciate being toyed with.. However, I can't seem to see how from there it would go in a positive direction, as now it kind of might put even more pressure on her- BUT - at the same time can see how she might then have no choice but to realize she's being a shit head and being called out on it, which she’d probably like and then respond well to. I guess at the end of the day, she’s not retarded and knows that her actions more than warrant a calling out on. Although I don’t know - Having these contradictory thoughts in my dome. Any info on this would be super helpful to me – I can imagine a lot of guys go through similar issues to this and aren’t aware of a most optimal solution to handling this.
Is this something I can and should bring up over text to her, or should I just try getting her out a second time and then confronting her about it if it happens again ? I almost feel like it will now be super difficult to get a second meet up with her, especially downtown near my place (as she lives at home 30 mins away) – although it certainly isn’t out of the question.
Any input is incredibly appreciated.
I wrote an LR years ago on the topic: http://manwhore.org/logically-convince-girl-to-have-sex/
Other than that I cover this in my training program. Your biggest problem during training was you were scared of my female assistant. She can be a bit intimidating but you HAVE to get over that. Same thing here.. you must go into this stuff with a chick but you don't go argumentative and you don't assume a victim stance like what you're describing above. You keep it lighthearted and fun but yeah you call her out.
Spank you - much appreciated.
Oh dude thought of something else super major. If you want HUGE lessons in this then listen to my podcast with Jessica J. Over and over again she's trying to throw ridiculous shit tests around I'm constantly batting them away while keeping us on track with the conversation and learning points.
Ah prize kino! You know I've done this before with a stripper without realizing it by softly rubbing my cheek with my knuckles - subtley displaying that I'm hot shit with smooth sexy skin.
I noticed you mentioned this in a field rapport where you talked about dick prizing. I understood it as a mental shift you had where you weren't giving your own Dick it's due - value and worth. Once it clicked you were like fuck it this bish gotta work for the D and it shifted the whole dynamic.
This post really crystalizes that whole thing, not just dick prizing but whole body prizing. Prize Kino should be a regularly used community term.