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Yeah. This is also, funny enough, where verbals come back in. 

It's strange how when you center all your mental focus on the other person, people OPEN UP. 

A big reason why I had trouble getting girls to invest in the past is because I wasn't listening to the girl.

I was listening to the WORDS, but I wasn't tuning into the EMOTIONS behind them.

I wasn't looking in her eyes the right way.  I wasn't reading her emotions moment by moment. 

LISTEN to the girl.  Not the words, but the sub-communication behind them.  The EMOTIONS she's communicating. 

Feel what she feels.  Don't react to her emotions.  Be PRESENT to them. 

Hey guys , first post, mainly registered to write this :).

Empathy seems like a big theme for me this summer, as I tend to be really judgmental and reek of not "accepting" what others feel, but used to think of myself as someone who really gets what others feel and is sensitive blah blah.

My main point is this, the key for empathy is UNDERSTANDING that if you were in the position of some person, in their body , and had their experiences, you would be THAT SAME EXACT person.

I kinda knew that so far but only intelectually, as it clicked for me one day recently.

The whole time I was thinking ye ye, I understand what they feel , BUT IF I WERE THEM I'D BE BETTER AND HANDLE MY SITUATION SMARTER , thus condescending and judging where others are coming from; REACTING, instead of accepting and working with it, so in a sense I was using bastardized version of empathy where I accept their reactions if they suit me, or otherwise judge them for what they feel, either conciously or subconciously.

Interesting cigarettes..

I've found that the closer I allow someone to be to me, the more stringent I am with their enforcing of personal standards of excellence. No fatties or lazies or weaklies