Direct approach at work - appreciate some input
I need some advice/input from you guys. I'd love to hear from guys who've either been in the same situation or similar. All advice is welcome especially from the experienced (Manwhore :) )
Ok, so I need to show my intent and interest in a girl who I've been working with. There's mutual attraction and I have high/moderate value in her eyes. But she doesn't know that I want to ask her out or that i'm interested in her. The last time I was about to make my move, her friend cock blocked me. I was a little out of state and I kinda crashed and burned. However, I was able to maintain my frame overall. Problem was that I teased a little to hard and I qualified her really hard. When she qualified herself, I didn't reward her and I teased her a little more. I was being a dick. Anyway she was very shy and reserved around me after that awkward interaction. I probably made her feel self conscious.
She's close to another guy now. There's something there, although I don't know if they're dating. Thats not going to stop me though :)
I'm going to go for it come this week. Either I win or I learn. Fuck it!
It will have to be a very direct approach because we are no longer working in the same team together and I have very little time with her. Also, it must be discreet as this will most likely take place in the office/kitchen area/a place were we can talk real quick in privacy. Our breaks are separate so I'll have to make the best of a bad situation and do it discreetly in the office without the slightest hint of anything going on other than the two of us talking as we have many times before.
My plan is to walk over like a boss and just go for it by showing intent. I need to maintain discretion though because I can't afford to make her feel socially uncomfortable.
Any tips or advice? If you guys need more details, feel free to ask.
Do you remember the entire interaction on how it played out? The more fleshed out the better.
Did you you make eye contact, was she making eye contact?
How is ya's bond, like how well do you know her. Time wise.
Also do you already have her number?
Thanks for the response.
The interactions(over a period of days and weeks) before her friend cock blocked me were great. She was very attracted very quickly. Let's just say that girls from my own ethnic background and from that part of the world consider me good looking. I had a lot value in her eyes, no doubt about it. Eye contact was very strong and almost intense (from her) at times during our conversations. The first time I saw her after she thought I was going to ask her out, she was shy and playing with her clothes/hair as soon as she saw me. Gave me the that LOOK when I greeted her and held eye contact. Trust me she was very attracted.
The day I was cock blocked was very strange. Her friend was very nice and pleasant prior to the cock block, but the day I wanted to make a move, she gave me a hard time. My target wanted to engage with me, but also didn't want to disappoint her friend, which ultimately made for a shit interaction. Also, as I mentioned, I teased her a little too much. Her friend jumped in to "rescue her", but I didn't give up my frame. I believe that interaction led her to the conclusion that I don't like her or want to ask her out. It was weird after that. I recently sorta mended it by being normal and conversational with her.
Our bond isn't strong at all. It's early days and attraction is there. At least, it used to be there. As I mentioned earlier, she's cosying up next to another guy now. But that's not going to stop me from taking what I want.
I don't have her number.
My intention is to step to her with direct masculine energy and just go for it. Lay it all on the line and be direct. I simply don't have the time to come under the radar and all that shit. Either I win or I learn. :)
That's not a "direct" approach, that's an uneducated uninformed approach. Lol
But.. may the odds be ever in your favor. ;)
How'd this "friend" cockblock you? Have you done this sort of thing before? Do you know how this is going to go or what you're going to aim for? What's your overall plan here. Are you just going to stand there and "ask her out"? Where you going to ask her out to. How you going to go about doing that exactly
Thanks for taking the time to respond man!
Lol. Well...I may be uninformed, that's why I'm seeking input from experienced chaps such as yourself :)
I'll try answer your questions in order you asked them.
Friend cock blocked me by interfering in our conversation and "rescuing" her when I was teasing. Eventually she took her away. This happened twice! She was being bitchy (in front of my target) even before I started teasing my target. I found her sudden bitchy attitude a little strange, and it caught me off guard as she was nice and pleasant towards me when my target wasn't there earlier on. Maybe it was a shit test?? dk
I haven't asked someone out in an office type environment, if that's what you mean. I've gamed girls from work outside of the office a few times with some success.
I'm aiming to let her know that I'm curious about/interested in her and that I think she's gorgeous and from there set up a soft close leading to a solid number. That's what I'm aiming for.
I'm not going to just ask her out without soft closing first. I learned this from RSD Todd and I've had success with this approach before.
So this is what the plan looks like. I'll describe it best I can. Please bare in mind that I may have less than a minute to do this. If I get more than a minute I can banter and have fun before I show man to women intent. Probably not likely though!
So after I say "Hey", I'm going to ask her if she's got any interesting goals set for the year. She always asks me the same questions I ask her. I'll respond by saying "yea, gonna be bold and direct and take what I want", with a smile/smirk.
I'll then transition into the soft close: "are you a smoothie, cake and coffee or ice cream girl? I love my healthy smoothies!" (test for compliance by saying this)
I'll say "great... listen I'm going to take you out for a smoothie, I'm intrigued by you and I think your gorgeous, but I'm curious to know wether you're as nice inside as you're outside". A little cheesy but she will love this coming from me.
I'll then number close and talk to her, if time allows. This isn't a script and I'll go with the flow. But that's the sorta thing I will say.
My directness and compliment will catch her off guard. Frankly speaking, given the situation with how little time we have around each other, I need to just lay it out like that, discreetly and without making a show of her or myself. No one will hear our conversation, I'll make sure of that.
Sensei Jonathan, thats the game plan. lol.
I haven't done anything like this before. Please feel free to give me a line or two...or even a dialogue if you think I need it. Lol. I'd appreciate your input.
The issue is that's a "do or die", e.g. an ultimatum. In a scenario where there's nothing to lose, e.g. at a club or whatnot, it's got a solid chance of working out. Shit in that kind of environment I say all sorts of naughty things. But in a work environment with both your futures on the line?? No matter how attracted to a guy a girl is, some will run away screaming, most will simply take the easy route and politely bow the fuck out. Then tell other people to protect herself against any sort of potential fall-out with a "new guy". That's where shit might go awry for you.
Aren't there other girls you can practice your ballsiness on? Like ones you meet out??
Go the social route with this girl. It's easy. Put together an "event" like a happy hour or a work house party and invite everybody. So easy. And this way you can bang more than one of them. Trust me on that one ;)
And how exactly were you teasing her btw? I can understand some female friends are way too sensitive, especially ones that don't have a lot of experience being social, but for her to be nice then flip the script makes me want to know more about the specifics of the situation.
Hey man thanks again for responding!
I should've been clear that this job is extremely casual work. It's not a professional environment and there's no future here for either of us. It's so casual in fact that I only work a few evenings a week. She works just two! And I only see her for one of those shifts, sometimes! It's a call centre and people come and go as they please. The company recruits almost every month. Kind off job you take to supplement your income. Things going awry for me is extremely unlikely. Plus, and here is the reason why I have a sense of urgency, I'm likely to move on from this place in like a month. I've been marketing my business adn we're expecting our efforts to bear fruit, so I won't have time to go back there.
I can practice my ballsiness on other girls. And I do. I did, today. But, if I don't step to this girl, I'll never know. The answer is always no until you ask.
You hit the nail on the head about her friend. She's definitely socially inexperienced around guys. No doubt about it! She was being awkward even before I started teasing! I attempted to start the conversation with "We're you guys been, haven't seen you in ages". She was like "you saw me the other day, what are you talking about". I'm obviously being socially conversational and making small talk. I then ignored her friend and started speaking to my target, asking her about university and shit, she was engaging and talking with a smile on her face. I then went in for a hand routine I learned that has worked for me. Again her friend, jumps in with "how can you judge someone like that by just looking at her hand...blahblahblah". Dude it was fucking stupid the shit she was coming out with. My target wanted to talk to me, but didn't want to seem disloyal so she moved away from me after she was dragged away by her friend.
Sensei Jonathan... I'm probably going to see her tomorrow evening after more than a month. I intend to go for it as I described. I'm putting all on the line and I'm ok with that.
Any final words of wisdom/advice for me before I crash and burn? Lol.
Well first off dude, you've got to handle this cockblock. Really. Her friend is part of her sexual decision-making process and all you've done is sorta chode around while she takes you apart. That's not being unreactive, that's just the opposite. Is everything you do scripted? Kind of seems that way. Like I said I'd go the social route, but otherwise the lil plan you hashed together isn't bad go with that.
I haven't had an opportunity to talk to my target in front of her friend since that day. I've spoken to my targets friend individually since that day, again casual and pleasant and we've exchanged waves across the office. That's about it.
The routines and shit, scripted. But when I'm bantering, teasing and having fun, I just make shit up. Of course there are certain principles I try to adhere to that I've learned from the community. That's not a bad thing as it's worked for me loads. I can't say I'm a natural. I try to take what I like from the community and fit it within the framework of my personality.
I doubt I'm going to have time with her and her friend. But if it that situation arises, though very unlikely, what's the best way for me to handle it? Generally speaking, I'm pretty good at holding my frame and dealing with shit tests.
The odds are against me. Lol. She doesn't think that I like her, loads of time has passed since she was crushing on me, her friend is a bit weird with me in front of her and my target is close with another guy(don't know if they are dating) who works there now. But fuck it! You either win or you learn.
I'm glad you said my plan isn't bad! Not exactly glowing praise but I still find it encouraging. Thanks.
A blast of positive dominance in her face. Kind of like a cumshot, but I don't think this girl deserves that. "Yo! Chill homegirl! I know you're looking out for your frend but damn you're being a little invasive. Her and I are just fine let her live her life!" This way you're typefying her behavior as negative, prying, and driving a future wedge into any such behavior.
This girl you're interested in strikes me as a bit of a sheep? E.g. she's attractive but a bit shy and lets her friends speak for her, etc? A wide-eyed look to her in social situations where she's getting positive attention, etc. If that's the case I'd leave off the qualifying part of your lil spiel there at the end.
Btw why do you call her a "target"? This is getting into one of those areas where mystery method/routine game does more harm than good. You're trying to normalize your social interactions, not further separate yourself.
I guess I could say my girl or the girl as opposed to target. But she isn't my girl, yet. I'm a bit of a pedant! Lol.
I'm ashamed to admit that I've never cum on a girls face. It always ends up in her mouth! I saved it up once for four days with exactly that intention...somehow it ended up her bum. Fucking hell man, what kind of a Muslim boy am I. Lol.
Dude you're so right about her being shy and a follower. I'd throw in people pleaser as well. She's demure and shy, and very inexperienced with the opposite sex. She comes from a conservative Muslim family. She's the same ethnic origin as me. I remember when I jokingly teased her about something people from our country do all the time, the look on her face made me think, shit this girl might actually think I'm being serious! I've never gamed a girl as inexperienced as her. In hindsight, it's no wonder when I teased her later on, she seemed very self conscious around me after. Lesson learned.
Qualifying spiel? You mean when I said "but I'm curious to know wether you're as nice inside as you're outside",? That bit?
Here is the thing though dude, I put the qualifying thing in there because she knows she's beautiful and I've seen small but noticeable ripples of arrogance from her over the course of our conversations on a couple of occasions. But its very subtle...nothing huge. She get's a lot of validation from female friends/family and extended family. I happen to know that there are quite a few families that are interested in her for there sons. You could say that in my culture they would consider a girl that looks like her as a fucking dime piece!
What do you reckon? All things considered.
Legit bro, I find your advice and input really helpful man. Thank you :)
Don't mean to be a debby downer but I know yours and hers background all too well ;) So let me chime in proudvirgin.
You got a lot more working against you on her end aside from your own "plan" and "canned stuff".
If this girl is already being viewed at that marriage age where you have to worry about her family and other outside "grooms"....this is just a can of worms my friend. Getting a girl like this to put out is totally doable but not worth it, especially with where you're at with your level of game. This is by no means a diss but a reality check.
That's not pedantic that's anti-social. And if that's the case I guess I'd leave your lil script the same. Cheerio