I really want to know what you guys think of this thought I had and experience lately.

Manwhore has described being masculine as leading and shaping. I really fucking like this definition of it being “shaping”. For me that word hits home.

Keep in mind the girl I am referring to is an ex. We only really broke up because of her religion and a combination of a lot of things really. I had been into game for about 6 months when I met her. She is muslim and was a virgin when I met her. In fact she had never kissed a guy before me. She was 19 I was 22. The relationship started off beautifully, because we had no intent of getting together because it was “forbidden” lol. There was no pressure, because we didn't even worry about the possibility of it happening, we were just kind of fascinated by each other and slowly fell into getting closer. We dated for a total of 2 years.

Time went on and the ignoring of all the problems of her religion and family caught up.

She is incredibly feminine. The way she was raised was with the idea that you are to please the man you love, but you really have to be a man to make her feel secure. At the time I was not ready to cope with all the things to come.

She of course is going to feel a sense of guilt, yet freedom from all the things we were doing. She moved to the states at the age of 16 from Egypt. Everyone from Egypt would freak the fuck out if they knew what was going on. What their little egyptian princess was doing with me a eckart tolle believing white boy. Although for her on a deep deep level behind all these bullshit rules things felt just perfect for her inside, but reality is still there and I needed to deal with and lead her through all these struggles we would go through.

A lot of the pressure from the idea of her going to hell for sex before marriage and that her family would disown her if they knew what was going on. They did find out we were dating and the reaction from them was no joke you are not my daughter anymore. My intent was never for her to leave her religion. It is a part of her and she is who I fell for, but I wanted to make her see some parts of it are not god. Yes I mean god not good. I wanted her to see that 2 people being together and just loving is never going to be wrong.

I had the challenge of giving her strength to walk into the abyss of love and trusting in us more than rules. Also figuring out how to deal with all these angry family members. All the stressful things she was going through with challenging everything was reflected back at me, looking for strength from me.

 

Turns out I was not ready to get through this. I tried my best, but the collective force of all that family, her, and the holy quran broke me. I really broke to the point of self harm. No pity needed guys. I’m just trying to show how stressful this was, but I see this could have been handled if I had the tools and awareness.

At times I could feel myself shaping things the right way. It is a lot about being proactive instead of reactive I have to form my opinions on things ahead of time. If you are shaky or unsure about what you actually want, she isn’t going to trust you and follow If you aren’t even sure of things yourself. The mentality I am moving towards is “I know what the fuck I want, I do not need to see the opinions of others before coming to my conclusion.”. Although I would say always still take others opinions into consideration that is just fair, but you need to trust in your own strength and make her feel it. The biggest mistake I make is doubting myself.

Another important aspect I found is you need to push the girl towards consciousness. You have really have got to allow her to be her and open up the deeper parts. I honestly Am not quite sure how to explain this and I barely know what it is myself. It is really just about not manipulating. You have to shape the situation when things arise, but with a state of consciousness, not really trying to rush to conclusion. It is really quite a natural state, but a lot of things get you out of that state.

Anyways that is a fucking ramble. The relationship recently ended, but is still open because we both still want it to work despite all that happened. But with the way the dynamic was set up at the end of the relationship, there was no way for it to work if it continued that way.  

Tell me what you guys think. Should I just get out of that mess and start pimping again, take some time off improve myself then start looking back into it, Or give the relationship another shot. This question is sort of contradicting since the main point was to trust yourself, but fuck it.