Former FWB - advice would be appreciated *Long Post*

Fuck.  

Ya throw in a smiley face or something like that next time.

What happened?

ALSO, tried that koala thing just now lol

Me: Hey can u settle a fierce debate ive been having?

Her: lol yes.

Me: Do lil koalas like drink tickets? Or is it just sexy lil koalas that do...

Her: What does that even mean??? hahahahaah

LMAO.

He used to call her koala. Now she's "just someone that he used to know"

Ok. I see what you mean entirely now. Even the slightest hint of passive aggressive will suggest shit like that. Complete vulnerabliity. 

Her: Lol I remember the sloth reference, but am I forgetting an inside joke about tubs?!? hahah
Me: Haha that was referring to scrubbing and cleaning each other's backs in your tub. What's new with you?
Her: I'm making banana bread!!!
Her: I know, it's super exciting stuff!!
Me: Stop. Banana bread IS exciting, and so good. Is that from Debbie's infamous cook book?? [Debbie is her mother, she showed me her mom's cook book.]
Me: Also, I've been getting absolutely crushed by the simulation course. I spent a good chunk of my spring break handling stuff related to that course :( 

Thinking I should just ask to see if she's free so I can get her on the phone, feel like it'll be easier to be more playful / feel her out via phone. I feel like I'm being a lil too serious right now and want to add some more playful energy.  

"Stop being a dirty girl with those bananas and talk to me"

triple text that sucker?

Edit: NVM she responded.

(30 min later)

Her: it IS from Debbie's infamous cookbook!

Her: And that sounds absolutely awful

Her: I saw al your snap chats of work :( 

[Now I can save that awesome text for later if she drags out 2 hours]

Gonna make some small talk, try to be playful, then maybe after a few more texts try to ask her out?

Did you do the sexy koala drink tickets text yet¿

Naw. We go to different schools and I don't know if her school does drink tickets so I don't think the text works. Or am I not understanding the text? 

You mean you can't use your drink tickets for her? 

Correct. My drink tickets are given to me by the school for the students of my school. Sorry I wasn't clear about that. 

Soooo.. there's no way you can use those drink tickets for her. E.g. you're going to be getting your drinks free, and.. what's she going to be doing? 

You should just use the free drinks text lol

Show up and the drinks aren't free for her. Oh well, buy her drinks...

Exactly. Like I CAN'T use my school's drink tickets for her school's drink tickets.  Also, I would actually have to get invited to her school event in order to even go and buy her drinks. But we're texting right now, so far so good. 

Yea lol this girl is taking her sweet ass time texting back now. She's also studying (finals aren't that close but things pick up as we get about 1.5 months from finals) Should I fire off that banana text or let it sit till tomorrow? 

I think you need to keep her engaged and get her emotionally invested in you, so I would say fire something off. I could be wrong though. Her studying can't be THAT important right now that she can't talk.

OOOOOOOOOOO this girl is heated still about the IG.

Her: Spring break is officallllllly over. Which means I'm officialllllyyyyy fucked.

Her: I just came back from the gym. Sorry for being so fit and skinny. *sassy emoji with the hand*

*sends meme of tyra banks whipping her hair*

So I was thinking:

"oooo sassy. i like it."

or "oooo i bet you make the cutest face when you're sassy :)"

My buddy told me to text "SLAYYYYYYY" (she's half black/half white and girls ALWAYS comment that shit on her IG.) However this response seems ridiculous. Feel like this will literally piss her off to no end lol

Maybe "SLAYYYY MY QUEEN" but eh fuck this just seems like more passive aggressive bullshit.

Edit: ":) ... did you miss me as much as I missed you?"

Thoughts? 

It sounded complicated lol

As for the texts' the one that sounds the best to me is this one:

"oooo i bet you make the cutest face when you're sassy :)"

Thats just what I think. Not sure about the "miss me" text.

Build upon "the cutest face" text and send multiple lines

something harder and shapes it: sort of like: umm just think about that makes me want to punish you or some shit like that.

I'm gonna go through the whole post all over again. I like where its heading though. 

I'm not a text genius like: Manwhore/Meow/Jihad/TheKing 

so take my advice with a grain of salt lol. More practice 

I'm starting to think the Slayyyyy text might actually be really funny, because she's also being a bit ironic and making fun of herself a bit by posting the meme of tyra banks whipping her hair. I just can't fucking tell if that would blow shit up. I think the cutest face text is a safe bet that is decent, but I want to see if I can move past all this haha. Holding off on firing off any texts until I get some back up. 

Sorry for blowing this thread the fuck up today. 

Show me the entire text convo from when you took over you're not telling the whole story

"I'm starting to think the Slayyyyy text might actually be really funny, because she's also being a bit ironic and making fun of herself a bit by posting the meme of tyra banks whipping her hair. I just can't fucking tell if that would blow shit up."

Yeah not sure on that last part as well.

username to this:
Curiousity Slays

send her something like this:
"You know what they say (comma) curiousity slays.

or

hear me out just hear me out maybe you could get some fresh pics out of this.

"Slay you say (comma) need to see about this"

Might not be appropriate towards the conversation or the direction that you want to take it.

 "I think the cutest face text is a safe bet that is decent, but I want to see if I can move past all this haha."

sometimes you gotta risk it to get the biscuit

"Holding off on firing off any texts until I get some back up."

Fire texts get moist when hot lol

"Sorry for blowing this thread the fuck up today."

Its fine dude don't worry :)

Me:

wt

oops. 

so what’re you doing besides being a cutie making some yummy banana bread? 

and ya …. my friends warned me it was a soul sucking class … but i was stubborn lolol

Her:

Just trying to catch up on some work. I feel like after spring break, things get crazy

well at least you got a warning lolol

Me:

Has your spring break started/ended? Yeah, that’s usually the sign to start buckling down haha.

Ugh, I just ate two burritos… food coma is settling in. Not good haha

Her:

Spring break is officiaallyyyyy over. Which means I’m officiallyyyy fucked

I just came back from the gym. Sorry for being so fit and skinny *sassy emoji with the hand*
*tyra banks meme*

Also she posted snaps on her story that I opened that she was out of town last week, along with other social media. So it's kinda easy to infer she was on spring break last week. However, I wasn't sure tho nor did i want to sound creepy lol, and some of her classmates are wreckless and flat out just skip class so I thought maybe she might've just skipped town for funsies aka tacked on an extra week of spring break.

Ok at least you weren't secretly being an asshole which is honestly what I was expecting lol. But what's this spring break shit and buckling down? What's this fucking shit about a food coma? Dafuq.. you sound like you have a dad bod and wear socks with sandals.

I mean.. maybe you do. But you're not supposed to sound like it over text. Geezez!

Dude, I really just don't understand how instagram plays into all of this lol. You wanted to comment "slay" because you saw it or her insta or something? That sounds very reactive. I know it's super hard to realize all of this when you feel an emotional attachment, but you need to stop focusing so much energy on her and ground yourself here.

The gym was her way of letting me know, fuck you I'm gonna get fit and show you for liking those IG models yet not liking my pics while we were dating.

Yeah that's fair, it is pretty difficult. As for the burritos - lol far from dadbod just trying to make some gains. She knows I gym and have been packing on size but I feel you. I'll go with the sass text and report back.  

In LS we HAVE to buckle down after spring break. Even though finals is 1.5 months away - that's when EVERYONE buckles down. Basically everyone goes out about 1-2x per week prior to this, then BOOM, everyone stops going out because it's time to prepare for finals. Literally this is when shit gets super serious because there's just a shit ton of material to cover/review. 

You understand my point about those texts? You were ramping things up, creating emotional momentum, it was working.. then you went full dad bod. Never go full dad bod 

Yeah I get it. I was building emotional momentum, showing I cared, reminding her how awesome I was then said some shit that wasn't as cool. 

I fired off the cute when she's sassy text this morning and she's deadaired me (probably thought I was playing games). She's in class till just about now/today is her busy ass day so I may hold off for a few more hours before I fire off that banana text. 

Actual texts:

Me: Ooo I bet you make the cutest face when you're sassy :)

Me: Yeah haha I hear that. I basically have to redo my cert paper (30 pages ish) before may 12. :/

Me: So I have to actually start showing up to that old lady's class now because she noticed no one would show up. She put a seating chart *laughing emoji*

Context: Obviously both of us would skip our classes, particularly smaller classes that students consider a joke and don't require attendance.  This class is notoriously known as a joke and I told her that. Also generally, as last year students, everyone is sorta "checked out" and only doing what they need to do to graduate.

After 13 or so hours I sent the banana reengagement text. Me thinks she's upset I didn't respond (she also saw me on FB messenger briefly so she probably thinks I'm playing a game, when really I just wanted confirmation on what to send) It's been an hour or so since I fired that off. She's definitely actively ignoring. 

Figure she's gonna ghost and now I gotta call lol. 

Wish I could help you bro...but my textings kinda gay rn too :)

You can do it! ^_^

Hahahaha. I mean ... maybe. Me thinkie a phone call manana or the day after will have to happen. I've never pushed this hard before to mend things before so this has been a pretty cool learning experience too, although it looks like i'm on the ropes haha. 

Just go meditate and get your head right. Not sure why you didn't just make plans w/that girl btw (in the other thread) haha.

Eh she is being a complete ass.

Gave a thumbs down to the "Stop being a dirty girl with those bananas and talk to me." then said. "Ew wtf what a weird thing to say."

Edit: Hm. Let's think.

That can be taken in two ways: 1) an OBVIOUS sexual JOKE was weird, or 2) you're being needy weird. Could be both. K. don't be reactive.  However, I still don't fucking know what to say lol. 

Edit 2: Actually none of the above, just seems like she's trying to throw me off. 

Hm. "Look what you do with your banana bread is your business. I'm only judging you SLIGHTLY haha." 

Dude. There's zero context for that banana text now. That banana making bread context was yesterday. It's utterly ridiculous to use it now. 

You and Jihad trying to plug in texts where they don't belong is absurd

The "What you did with your banana bread is your business, etc" is pretty decent. 

I thought it was still good for like 24 hours or so but fair, it is stretching it. Ok, firing that off. 

Edit: 

Fired off. Presumably getting deadaired. That's fine.

Game plan: Call in 2-3 days. Act chill, like it's all good.  

Edit 2: Just realized she may not anwer 'cuz she's pissed or whatever. Call --> voicemail --> text on top a few hours later. I've never done the voicemail thing or texting afterwards - what should I generally be doing? 

I like a lot of what jihad did "Hey it's Aequitas - just got out of the gym. Shit was fucking packed... anyway, just seeing what you're up to and wanted to chat for a minute. Anyway, I gotta get some work done. Shoot me a text. Later." 

However, this might need to be tailored to the situation and might not be what the situation calls for. At this point, I'm basically calling it quits if I don't get anything back from a voicemail/text. 

Hm. Just so happens girl snapped a pic of some dude with a dog (she's taking care of it) today before I texted/called. Kinda annoying but whatever just press on as usual. "Hey - you free to talk for a minute?" "Yeah sure what's up?" - Just called. Had the phone call about an hour ago. Tensions seemed a litlte high at first from both sides, but then it was chill. Seemed like business as usual, just chatted her up. Caught up, was mainly a lil serious but with sprinkles of jokes. Laughed a bit, chopped it up. She was hesitant to talk about personal stuff with her mother - like she cut me off and redirected the conversation to what I've been up to when I pressed about details. About 20 minutes in she cuts me off - "Hey my mom is calling me right now, i'll call you right back." She's obviously not gonna call back at this point. 

Conversation seemed fine. I'm willing to call again - i m not deterred, however, man this situation is simply dragging on so god damn long. Lolol. I'm sorry for annoying the fuck out of all of you with this same fucking situation. 

Game plan: Fire off another call tomorrow, except this time no god damn warning. 

Edit: Also if anyone thinks i should throw in the towel, do not hesitate to be like "dude fuck this man this is too much."

Go after her if you want, but also go after other chicks.

Doing that for sure. 

Well the issue here is pretty much the same with everyone across the board. You basically require someone with topnotch text game to babysit the convo and fill in everything 'cuz it's not happening on your own. That's defiintely not going to be me

I need to get this texting subscription service up and running, but for the work required I don't think most of you guys would be able to pay for it. 

Actually, I just looked at my last post to you again and I didn't like how simple and dumb it was. Like any 14 year old could have said that wtf. But honestly dude, the fact that you are even asking that question is a sign that you don't need it to be answered. Like is she so entrenched in your head that you can't do your school stuff? I doubt it cuz you seem reasonably advanced and you're mentioning that you banged other chicks and you have work to be doing anyway. If this chick is a significantly rare Pokemon like you say she is then fuck yeah dude, of course you should be devoting more effort than you usually would to get her!

Haha no she's not so entrenched that I can't focus on school. However, I am not going to lie and act like if she does something dumb when we're playing some dumb social media gamet that it doesn't affect me for like 10-20 minutes or so. Just meditate for a hot second, laugh about the absurdity of the situation and then it's back to business as usual. I have two girls in rotation but they currently aren't occupying much time. I have a few numbers and leads I'm working on as well but I'm primarily focused on school with one bang during the weekend from a regular. Word man, I feel you. Thanks for the honest input.  

I know, man. And honestly, I'm super grateful for how far you held my hand in this so far along with everyone elser. It's not fair to you. I gotta sink or swim on my own from here on out. She fired off a snap that a bunch of her friends are basically over now, didn't even realize. Fired off "We can talk later. Have fun :)". 

Game plan is still the same. Shoot a call again tomorrow and see what's up.  

Lol. Fuck. Going to be completely vulnerable on the forums because I think it is important. I don't care if I sound like a pussy. Just called the girl again and we had a 20 min conversation. It did not go well. Started strong, but then it got rocky when we were talking about her favorite colors and I didn't remember (granted she didn't remember mine either). Some parts of the conversation were very light hearted but the important parts of the convo:

Her: Hey sorry for not calling back I ended up having company.

Me: All good, I get it you had company. 

*later on*

Her: So are we just gonna talk about my favorite colors or why did you call me?

Me: What do you mean why I am calling you?

Her: It is random that you're calling me. 

Me: Because I miss talking to you. We used to talk a lot over the phone. 

Her: Oh. Ok.

Her: Well I do have to go I have an assignment etc. 

Her: I can call you back.

Me: ... but are you actually gonna haha? <- ODFJSD:FJSD:JFDS FUCKING LAME 

We go back and forth about calling and try to figure out a date. She basically back pedals and is like "I don't want to lock in a time because if I can't follow through I'll feel bad." "I'll try to call you." I just make some lawyer jokes "haha you'll use your best efforts" her: I'll use my reasonable best efforts. 

Me: Haha, that's fine. I get it, it's finals.

Her: But, I've answered all your calls. If you call me, I'll answer your phone call.  

Me: Oh ok, yea sounds good, we'll figure it out sometime next week. 

Ugh. I can see certain parts where I fucked up completely.

Fuck ups: 

- Should've been more light hearted

- should've NOT ASKED HER if she'd call me; SHOULD hAVE NOT ASKED HER IF SHE ACTUALLY WOULD.

- Should have fucking TOLD HER I WOULD CALL HER. But, again, hindsight 20/20.

Good: Only saving grace is she said she'd answer my phone calls. 

I don't even know just how good that is though. It's tough finding that fine balance between being persistent and being needy. I get she is busy but shit, that just seemed ICE COLD, man. 

BLAH. 

Terrible. Lmao 

Hey bro maybe you should hit up Mervtheperv for coaching..

.... yeah. Absolutely fucking awful. But I don't want to sugarcoat it lololol. Shit ain't always peachy.  

Fuck my nigga.

Isn't it funny how the needy/oneitis mindset can set in and turn the game upside down. It's a plague lol. The worst part is once you feel this way about a lady it's so tough to shake. 

On the bright side it's these setbacks that better you. A few months ago I had the girl that I REALLY longed for and it got hella fucked up. Well that pushed me and my game got way better. Even an experienced dude like you will benefit from this, this will remind you why you decided to developed your game.

HAHA funny story for y'all. My buddy fell for his girl HARD. They dated for like a month and broke it off. Dude goes out and has a fuckin threesome with an old fuck buddy and her friend. He said the threesome made him miss her even more. I was like WAIT WAT?

Oh please. No reason why oneitis has to screw you over. Doesn't screw me over I just go harder in the paint

Yeah, definitely oneitis shouldn't screw one over. I've gotten better at it and actually feel like in the beginning/mid stages I do exactly this, which is leverage my emotions to my benefit; meaning i feel like my game is on fire because i'm so into the chick - but when shit hits the fan and mending a relationship I suck. This emotional control shit is so fucking crucial to the game. I SEVERELY underestimated just how important. I used to think physical abundance was the answer to getting emotional abundance and consequentially emotional control, but it isn't so simple haha. At least it hasn't been for me. So dumb of me lolol. I touched on this earlier in either this thread or some other thread.

No noteworthy positive progress, but figured I'd update anyway for the sake of transparency. 

Texted a lil since second call via IG DMs, messaging memes to each other, but things fell flat very quickly. Tried calling last friday (a week since last call) but she let it go to vmail and I didn't leave a voicemail. Was actually not prepared for her to not answer, should've planned for it. So much for "always answering" lol. Since the call went to vmail she's been flat out ignoring my snap stories. Me thinkie she's salty and really just wants to move on so she's taking measures to ensure this happens. Doesn't help that her girlfriends are very likely chirping in her ear telling her not to talk to me. Girl still has my hat and I have her tooth brush but meh, the wall is just solidifying the more i chase. 

Spitballing but I think I should've been way more vulnerable and really put myself on the line as opposed to the lame "i miss you" shit I said. Did not think that was anywhere near enough in retro. I feel like I rattled her, but really the timing is just so off right now. (My last set of finals are hovering over my head, as are hers, she's moving to a diff city 3 hours away after graduation and I may or may not end up there as I have interviews there and at my current city)