FR: Got Slapped Last Night
Last night was an off night.
What I saw even more clearly is how critical it is for me to go out with a clear intention of what I'm going to do and what my gameplan is. I'm not at the level where I can just go out and automatically execute properly. If I don't have a clear intention old habits dip in, it leaves too much space for me to act haphazardly and let myself be influenced by the environment. I also lose interest in talking to girls because I know where I'm at without clear focus and intention of where I want to take the interactions I'm essentially leaving the responsibility of the pull up to the girl and well I might as well go home at that point haha.
So before I go out tonight I will have a clear gameplan of what I want to work on.
I end up going to 4 different venues in 3 different parts of the city, finally the 4th one is good.
I start approaching but I'm not in state and don't have a clear focus of what I'm going to do. I approach anyways. My heart isn't in it. I realize my mind is playing that trick on me where it tries to convince me that my current energy level is appropriate for the environment when in reality I need to step it up.
So I decide to go in 3x harder and more intentional to break myself out of that pattern and expand my range of expression. Go up to this girl on the dancefloor. She shoots me down super hard, super clearly, right away. I don't flinch, I smile back. My friends are watching this and out of the corner of my eye I can feel they're like oooh shit dude just blown out. She sees I'm not buckling and holding my intentionality, she flips and is now into me.
My dancefloor game sucks. Did I mention my dancefloor game sucks? lol. She's dancing with me is into me but then I start to get this feeling like this is shifting into another test. She's holding my hand and she's using it to basically dip to the floor and do all this crazy dance moves. I realize I lack any clear intention of where I'm leading this interaction and that this is becoming a test because the way she's dancing she's basically leading the interaction and she's boxing me into a passive position. I think well fuck this this dancing is getting kinda gay, and I came here to break myself out of this pattern and be more intentional. I try to escalate by moving her close to me. She's resisting like no you can't come in closer I'm doing my dancing using your hand for me to do all this crazy shit which at first started out like a hot stripper kind dance move and now it's making me feel like it's some strange old school "Greek goat roast by the fire while getting shitfaced with the bros" kinda dance. Uhhh, da fuq just happened here?
I try to pull her in she pushes me back, tries to hold the frame of no I'm gonna do my Greek goat roast dance moves. I'm like okay this is getting ridiculous. I can feel there's a level of emotional calibration I'm not tapping into like I'm standing on a froze lake and I can see shit moving below the surface but the ice is too thick to see it or to be able to tap into that level. I don't work on dance game so a lot of shit is going over my head, I can't see what but I can see shadows of whatever it is. I'm like...fuck this weird dance move, dance like a normal person girl, get over here (I don't actually say it out loud). She gets pissed, slaps me. I think it's hilarious. It kind of feels good too for some reason. I think part of it was getting off on the fact at this point I don't really give a fuck, when I first started going out this would have made me feel like an idiot or like there was something wrong with me. Now it's hilarious. A gay dude she's friends with jumps in try to tool me, lol, I fuck with him and tell him hey it's kinda fucked up but I kind of like her even more, that was kinda hot. Set isn't going anywhere, move on keep approaching.
I approached a lot of girls but the main thing I saw from last night was I'm approaching but I don't have a clear intention. A clear direction to take this.
Tonight I'm going to work on approaching with strong intent, screen for girls who live nearby, I'm gonna keep the social vibe, have fun with her friends vibe but then also throw in clear verbal sexual intent in a way that's humorous. I want to have 2 sets like this that I ping between. Feedback on this part would be appreciated yall.
New Things I incorporated:
I did some vocal projection exercises before going out. I felt like my voice was much louder in the beginning of the night almost without effort. I felt like my state was high at the beginning even though I had rolled into a 5 girl sausagefarm and had a feeling the next bar would be lame as well. I scared the shit out of a girl in a group of 3 approached because my voice was so much louder than normally haha. Needless to say she wasn't very receptive.
I got slapped by a chick yesterday aswell because i teased her about something. But she was giggling and shit, not pissed off.
Dude, I've gotten slapped 3 times witin a minute by a chick when I grabbed her boob once. It doesn't mean shit if you don't make a meaning out of it. In fact, she'll love it when you can hold your ground, unless you act like a perv.
Yeah as fucked up as it sounds (and I know there's some 'feminist' lurker on here just WAITING for it) slaps can be rather friendly, lmao. That's just the way some girls flirt. In THIS case what was happening is that she'd already initially rejected you, but ended up digging your tenacity and "accepted" you.. just without any attraction. Well when you started acting in ways that assumed attraction.. she was basically just attempting to swat you back into your birdcage. Remember girls feel HIGHLY entitled to shit on males they perceive to be in particular categories.
I noticed when I got hit or slapped by chicks, it's in a joking way or they do it in a way to try and gain power when you just seem so much more centered than they are used to. I often hold my frame and/or call them on the hit and the almost always switch their attitiude up if they were being bitchy or they get even more flirty if it was a flirty type hit. Obviously depending on the way they came at me, I address it appropriately.