Fucked up a lay due to a lack of presence

I always use a bit of sexual disqualification here but all y'all probably don't even know what that is. You CAN'T look at her with puppy dog eyes, don't chase her, act cool as fuck. It'll happen again 

What's the ensuing text conversation like? 

yeah I have no idea what sexual disqualification is, but the eye contact im definately getting better at 

nothing special, jst joked about the rest of my night and stuff. Then I said we should do it again at her place - not sure if this counts as me chasing. She responded saying we can't if her parents are there.

Dont really text her that much coz i see her few times a week.  So i hit her up if I wanna chill and she usually says yes  

'k this isn't enough for me to help you I would need more details dude. 

shit not sure whats more important the text convo or what happened. 

so the ensuing text convo

me: this was bad idea 

her: why whats happening haha

me: your friends tryna wind me up

her: about me ?

me: nahhhh, jst in general. this place is empty

ditched her to go to this lounge with some work colleagues. They found this funny coz 'theyd cockblocked me'

her: haha sounds mental

me: so can we chill round your again soon 

her: not when my parents get back theyre funny bout lads coming round

me: shiiit 

me: we can always do it whenever 

her: yeah definitely 

*didnt respond to this 

early next morning 

she had work that morning so i was tryna go hers for a quickie. realising id fucked up the previous night 

me: eyy what time you going in again

her:start at 12 cba to walk there 

me: sooo what you gonna do 

fucked it up here should have been like call in sick ill come spend the day with you

her: dunno yet ill check bus times not sure if i can make it 

me: okay is your friend still at you place 

her: no

her: shes just leaviing for work 

me: wanna come chill at yours before you go work 

her: im meant to leave in 30 mins and im not even dressed 

me: itd take me and hour at least to get there 

she doesnt reply, realise there was no value in it and didnt merit a response. My text game is fairly simple and i try focus on having a good time in person!! can defo improve however 

Fuck her right in the pussy

that would be very appealing lool

i decide to  hit her up saying lets get more ice cream. She says 

Her: I don't want to get too close in fairness it's like we can chill as friends but whenever we're together it feels like more xx

urmmmm?? Dafuq. Think I'm doingg well in making a connection when I'm with her. Like we pretty much act like any old couple. But haven't responded to this yet I'm still baffled 

This girl has given lots of signals of being very receptive to you. Yet you still manage to fuck this up. If I had to guess I'd say you were an above average looking guy with ZERO game. How close am I. 'Cuz if this was me or several other guys on this forum this girl would already be laid 'n buried. 

im actually quite average in looks, don't have much in terms of game but I'm just incredibly social, lack in terms of physical and sexual escalation I think. So maybe she sees me more as a friend than a fuck 

There's something else going on otherwise she'd have shut you down sooner with the friendzone call. Have you dated or banged other girls she knows about? What do you mean by "incredibly social"? 

No, nothing she knows of. She's heard rumours, had a few shit tests, like her accusing me of being a player, stuff like that. 

I mean I just have a fun vibe/personality. So talk and a lot of the pretty girls at my work place, & they are pretty comfortable around me. But nothing more. 

Ive made out with her a few times if that changes anything!!

Your real problem is escalation. Your text game failings are only in reactiveness to the fact you didn't fuck her when you should have and she thinks you're a chump now. 

yes that's part of the problem, but I missed clear signals yet now they clear as shit in my head. 

Another point, she told me the real reason behind her text, I'm going off to uni in another city in jst over 2 months, so "she doesn't want any heartbreak." How dyu deal with a situation where a girl is receptive in person but the polar opposite over text ? 

yes that's part of the problem, but I missed clear signals yet now they clear as shit in my head. 

Another point, she told me the real reason behind her text, I'm going off to uni in another city in jst over 2 months, so "she doesn't want any heartbreak." How dyu deal with a situation where a girl is receptive in person but the polar opposite over text ? 

That's a rationalization, an excuse. Because her attraction has abated. It's not real 

Makes sense, considering she said this after the night of reckoning. MW you're a wizard. Think I'm gonna cut my losses and move on from this one 

Well it's easily doable but yes it'll take some active management on your part. Aloof and dismissive of her friendzone frame, tease her, etc., make her want you again, then escalate when you've got the opportunity. I mean if you just go for easy pussy then yes this is beyond your reach. 

Your texting is way too cut 'n dry, too logistical. Ya want to add the flavor you bring to your social life to your text convos. Understand? Texting is part of the seductive process, you don't automatically win because you got a girl's number you've still got to be interesting and fun. 

Have you hit this girl back up yet? 

Yeah hit her back but I was bashing at a wall, she insisted we stay friends and I didn't mix things up so I just fell in her trap.

After her bombshell of a text, I replied like 2 hours later 

Me: yo I say we discuss this in person cuz it's way better 

She didn't reply to this so I hit her up the next morning 

me: guessing that was a no no 

she replies immediately

her: there's nothing to talk about 

me: there's a lot to talk about 

her: no nothing can really work out

kinda gave in after this, realise I should have just called her or waited till I saw her at work 

Yeah think my text game in general is pretty dull, and I mirror her responses too much, and don't really connect with her that much.

Yeah you diagnose your issues pretty well, lol. 

I mean if you're not willing to put in more effort than that being creative and/or trying to fix these issues, especially when you know what they are, I don't know why you'd expect anyone else to put in effort to help you. 

I think sometimes it's not being able to overcome limiting beliefs when the actual situation is presented. Text game is easier to work on, jst by reading the articles and lay reports. 

But how does one improve infield game without the training and drills etc. Meditation and Tolle help, but you can invest all your time in all the wrong things and it won't help

Well you just keep at it constantly until you start getting good at it. There's a lot of great content out there now it should take you guys a lot less time than it did even for us top tier motherfuckers to figure shit out. 

But yes proper training and drilling takes YEARS off your learning curve. Plus sure there are definitely lots of secrets that most guys will never be privvy to unless they're told/shown. 

So dude if text game is easier to work on why haven't you? There's hundreds of examples of it on the forum, dozens of guys have come on this forum and learned topnotch text game and gotten crazy results with it. Why haven't you? 

mang thats the problem, there's a LOT of content, some of it irrelevant and some misinformation. So newbs can be taken backwards by this, myself included 

I had a period where it got better. Not excellent but good enough. Then i got in a long term relationship and stopped reading the articles and visiting the forum. And it clearly took a massive hit 

Alot of content can definitely make you confused. 

IMO, the best way to learn is by just putting yourself out there as much as possible, and then try to understand what you did wrong or right (for example by asking on this forum, watching rsd videos etc). Don't just get caught up theory and THEN try to use it infield. 

In this case, you could have pushed yourself by escalating more. And if that didn't work out you could have asked here what you did wrong. Now it seems like you didn't even try so what help do you expect, lol. 

Yeah? What would you guys paint as misinformation or shitty information? Very interested. 

I'm stuck in exactly the same situation. Read that many different ways to text like don't use puncuation and wait longer then her to reply, keep them short one or two word answers, or only text to set up logistics because you come across as needy. My heads done in lol.

Yeah I've read quite a few articles. There was one on being concise and making a connection. But not waffle on things you can talk about in person in detail.

I bought a program once, called the girlfriend activation system, that was shitty. Might have pussified me a little. Think some gain popularity through ads but lack actual content. And it's not easy to distinguish

this definitely my issue with this girlfriend activation system, it has a lot of theory. And tells u to almost follow exact steps, it's a lot of shit to remember 

Yup thats why i like manwhore. The articles are simple and tell you what to do without alot of contradicting theories that will only confuse you if youre a beginner. Theres also more emphasis on becoming that guy that simply gets laid by changing yourself to be more charismatic, a better leader, learning to connect with people, rather than a bunch weird PUA stuff. Would buy his skype training no doubt if i could afford it.

Ahh that's Christian's (Jonathan) product. He's a good guy, is legit but yeah he's in a different place. We had a conversation about game about 5 years back.

The reason teaching and learning "hard" pickup skills is so important is it hits the areas the vast majority of dudes need to work on before they're someone that naturally attracts women. Most guys simply aren't ready for a relationship because they can't keep a woman attracted and invested for longer than five minutes. I'm not trying to slam or disparage men, it's simply a byproduct of our society's slut shaming and male sexuality shaming. We're all a bunch of children running around without the tools to talk to each other when we first hit adulthood. 

Thanks. I agree :)