Girl becoming distant after several dates and hook ups?
Context:
Met a girl off Tinder. She's 20, hot (solid 8-9) and very high value on a large college campus. Anyways, we grabbed ice cream, came back to my place to chill in the hot tub and have a few drinks, and ended up having sex. Setting up the date was pretty straightforward, she was responsive, the interaction was fun and flirty, and she helped move things forward.
One week later, we hang out again. Go hiking, come back to my place, have sex for a few hours, then grab food and watch a movie. Again, she was really into the text interaction and helped move things forward.
Then, things got weird. She was super unresponsive to texts, taking 1-2 days to get back to anything I sent, so it took two weeks to get the third date. She was sending me detailed/long texts so it's not like there was nothing to work with, but it was still a little odd to go from the previous two interactions to her taking super long to respond. Anyways, we got drinks, but then one of her friends was in town for just the night so we parted ways so she could meet up with her friend. She stayed with me for like an hour after her friend called her, but on the way back to my place she was like "Oh we're going back to your apartment? I should probably go meet my friend now" and basically shot off.
Today: It's been like 9-10 days now since the third date, and basically since then she's gone completely silent. Like hasn't responded to anything I've sent her for 3+ days now. I'm seeing other girls and don't necessarily want to make this girl my girlfriend or anything, but I'm still confused at what's going on. I'm used to girls becoming more attached as we hang out more, espcecially after hooking up. My question for those with more experience...any idea what's going on here? Do you ever call her out on her unresponsiveness or just play it cool and hit her up in a few days?
I think she may be concerned that I now only see her as a fuck buddy, so was thinking of sending something genuine/not gamey at all. Something like "Hey, my mouth usually gets me in trouble, but there's something I need to say. I like you. I've really enjoyed hanging out and getting to know you and I'm not just looking for a hook up. I have no expectations, I just feel like we connected pretty well and it'd be dumb to let it go to waste. I don't know where you're at, but if you're feeling the same, we should hang out soon. Hope all is well. Talk to you soon".
The goal here is to build a fwb type situation that could maybe turn into an actual relationship at some point.
That's way too long-winded and blocky. Plus not that sexy. The real issue here is you don't know what's going on you're just projecting and could end up doing the wrong thing.
So you guys have been doing activities together, not just hanging out at your apt. having sex, yeah?
What exactly have you been texting her the last 3 days
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
Yeah we've been doing things other than sex. Given that she's been taking a while to respond, I've basically been getting straight to the point with texting. I normally make things more fun and flirty, then set the meet up, but if she's going to take forever to get back it seemed like that would just delay things. Maybe that's the wrong approach though? The last exchange went something like:
Me: "So that new swimsuit you bought...I might have to see it" -I don't mind this, but it was probably an ineffective way to reinitiate after a week of no talking. That being said, she had talked about going to pick out a new swimsuit and there are a lot of places to take the convo depending on her response.
Her: (1 hour later) "What new swimsuit?" -Basically the worst response I can get. It stumped me.
Me: (30 minutes later) "You said you were buying a new one for xxx."
Me: "My dreams are crushed. It's ok the other one looked pretty good too".
Me: "So when you free this week? We should get out sailing before the lakes freeze over".
That was three days ago, no response. I realize how weak my part was there. Ugh...not proud of it.
As far as me not knowing what's going on, I completey agree haha. I won't send her that message. You're right, it's projecting onto her and has a high likelihood of ending any sort of relationship with her. What do you think of that message that goes like "You don't call. You don't text. The kids are worried sick..."? I'll have to find it on the forum. I've definitely lost that fun, flirty edge I initially had with her. Maybe a few days of her not responding can actually work to my favor as I work that back into our interactions.
Naw there's nothing "wrong" with your texting. At some point you should be able to cut the fluff, there's definitely something going on here. Not sure why her swimsuit response stumped you maybe there's something going on you're not telling. Did you see it on her social media?
I'd be like, "I got something to confess. I've been cheating on you."
2nd text: "I just feel like pikachu understands me better"
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
^lmaooo im stealing that one
Lol I went with that, will keep you updated. The swimsuit thing "stumped" me at the time because I just didn't know how to respond. She told me on the third date that she was going to buy a new one the next day...there's nothing going on other than that. If something is going on, it's just that she's lost interest/is seeing someone else.
Yeah something like that's in the mix. It's why we went the route we did.. it flushes out the issue without spilling your guts lol
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male