Going out SOLO feels like starting over. FUCKING BULLSHIT.
I'm over it.
S A M E E X A C T problem.
You are not the only one. Every guy from the community except a few of them are completely lost if they go:
Daygame + alone + sober + in high pressure envirronement. No one approach a girl by himself in the train.
I have an insane gameplan though and I will persist and win as usual.
I was thinking you were a faggot in rsdnation. You're a beast, I will come down to Sweden this month and Norway Oslo the other so I would be down to meet up with you.
Hmm i've done this since i was 16 by sneaking into clubs alone and getting drunk then talk to girls LOL. But right now i have a solid social circle so i'm never really alone in any club around here that i go to... I don't see so many hot girls outside during daytime now in winter but i bet when summer comes i won't be comfortable at all going solo and talking to girls day time. There is no easy solution though, so i guess we just have to DO IT and not think too much about it.
Rael, where in Sweden?
Stockholm brother.
Dude this is just a mind illusion.
Basically what I've noticed is whenever I'm out of my comfort zone I will feel fear. When I feel fear my mind will start creating all this really good evidence that makes the fear seem more real. It makes you think more about how you have SO MUCH FEAR. It seems really real.
And if I just jump in and not listen to the fear (or even if I do, the important part is taking the action) what will usually happen after a while is that I'll become more comfortable. It's kind of like you're in a room with a divider made of beads that block your vision of the other room. Whatever the hell is in that room you don't know but it could be tons of scary things, you imagine the worst case scenarios. All you have to do is take the action and push past those beads and when you get to the other side you realize "hmm that wasn't that bad, this is just another room! wow what was the big deal about this?!" And when you become more comfortable the fear will and all it's reasons will begin to disappear.
Tyler talks about this in the Blueprint was a fucking game changer.
Basically your state is an emotional mechanism that pings your environment to determine whether or not you have high status and depending on what it perceives will give you access to either your low status/chode part of you or your high status part of you. The key he said is checking where you're at by checking how stifled you are.
Try yelling right now and notice if your body tries to shut you down and keep your volume low. Does it start making you feel dumb, anxious, does it start pumping you with ideas for why you shouldn't be loud? Good that means you're stifled and it's perceiving you to not have high enough status to do that. Start making noise, yell, sing louder, push past the negative thoughts/emotions. If you do that loud enough and long enough you'll hit a tipping point. You'll hit an emotional indifference threshold. Your not giving a fuck threshold. Once you've done that and your brain sees you haven't died or been hurt it will start giving you access to that dominant part of you.
The more you do this throughout your life the more unstifled (and therefore highstatus) you'll feel. The more high status you feel in multiple environments after a while you will begin to have a shfit in your sense of identity so that you see yourself as higher status.
One of the things that gives us permission to be high status is what Tyler calls Alliances. Which is basically being around people who you're confident will give you approval. When you take them out of the equation and your confidence wanes it just indicates you had situational confidence and it provides an opportunity to expand in that area and develop core confidence.
Dude this is just a mind illusion.Basically what I've noticed is whenever I'm out of my comfort zone I will feel fear. When I feel fear my mind will start creating all this really good evidence that makes the fear seem more real. It makes you think more about how you have SO MUCH FEAR. It seems really real.
And if I just jump in and not listen to the fear (or even if I do, the important part is taking the action) what will usually happen after a while is that I'll become more comfortable. It's kind of like you're in a room with a divider made of beads that block your vision of the other room. Whatever the hell is in that room you don't know but it could be tons of scary things, you imagine the worst case scenarios. All you have to do is take the action and push past those beads and when you get to the other side you realize "hmm that wasn't that bad, this is just another room! wow what was the big deal about this?!" And when you become more comfortable the fear will and all it's reasons will begin to disappear.
Tyler talks about this in the Blueprint was a fucking game changer.
Basically your state is an emotional mechanism that pings your environment to determine whether or not you have high status and depending on what it perceives will give you access to either your low status/chode part of you or your high status part of you. The key he said is checking where you're at by checking how stifled you are.
Try yelling right now and notice if your body tries to shut you down and keep your volume low. Does it start making you feel dumb, anxious, does it start pumping you with ideas for why you shouldn't be loud? Good that means you're stifled and it's perceiving you to not have high enough status to do that. Start making noise, yell, sing louder, push past the negative thoughts/emotions. If you do that loud enough and long enough you'll hit a tipping point. You'll hit an emotional indifference threshold. Your not giving a fuck threshold. Once you've done that and your brain sees you haven't died or been hurt it will start giving you access to that dominant part of you.
The more you do this throughout your life the more unstifled (and therefore highstatus) you'll feel. The more high status you feel in multiple environments after a while you will begin to have a shfit in your sense of identity so that you see yourself as higher status.
One of the things that gives us permission to be high status is what Tyler calls Alliances. Which is basically being around people who you're confident will give you approval. When you take them out of the equation and your confidence wanes it just indicates you had situational confidence and it provides an opportunity to expand in that area and develop core confidence.
You're right. I remember that part.
I used to do it when i was still a little stifled with my wingmen next to me, i would just yell random shit or do pushups in the street or whatever.
I also do realize that when i'm out in the ''Karl Johans gate'' which is completely filled with people and there are street performers and people walking in groups, talking and then you have me, the solo PUA guy who hasn't said a word out loud in 10 minutes trying to game girls who are talking and laughing.
It's really hard, but it's possible and if it's possible, i can fucking do it.
It all comes down to me not taking action and i fucking know it. Lack of disclipline.
I'll sooner die than not overcome this.
Yeah dude. Any action is better than no action. Start with saying hi to people, anyone. Asking them how their day's going, where they're from. Start joking around with them. Anything to break you out of that pattern. The more action you take the more fearless you become, your state rises and when that happens a lot of things that were important you don't give a fuck about anymore.
Some good pointers in here and that rsd thread. I used to go out often enough solo to concerts/clubs, I went out often enough I came to know regulars in the club circuits and staff. Im talking years ago before I really knew what game was, here wasn't any pressure. Someone mentioned above that the pressure is an illusion and couldn't be more right. A lot of the time I was present and excitied to go out and chatting up people before hand really helps so your not overwhelmed by the enviroment when you are. Meditating/tolle that evening, calling or hanging out with a friend beforehand.. Chat up the taxi driver, randoms on the way. If your already used to day game, do some street game in the area. By the time you hit the line your already in social zone and continue chatting up people in the line/bouncer. No pressure, just be social. You can follow the energy of the venue, being chill at the start of the night and push things as things get more and more alive.
Pushing through the unease is definitely a big part of it and there are times where things are going to be uncomfortable and you can hit it anyways. But melting into the venue is great too. If your not feeling it, chill back against the bar and just be present. NOT an excuse just to sit there and chode out but just unwind and be social. I think alex talks about this, the 2 hour rule and whatnot
There is NO REASON why a girl wouldn't want to meet a cool guy during the day.
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
But yeah your reasons for not going out at night are really terrible, lol. Brad Branson and I discussed this several years back. We're both of the opinion that dudes that can only do daygame are pussies. Any daygame coach that ONLY does daygame, same thing. They're soft.
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
dude Sasha daygame ONLY does daygame and he's not soft at all
Dude is actually pretty legit - def. exceptions to the rule on that one, but yeah for the most part it's def. true
The only guy I know who do daygame by himself and sober DESTROY the club when he go with us.
I just come back from Miami and all the RSD guy were at Nikki Beach the last night, I've seen some scrubs getting physical (insanely uncalibrated and weird) on girls and this dudes will NEVER approach alone during the day.
Also Minotaur who coin the legendary Beastmode approach use to do daygame alone as well.
I know Sasha extremely well. He's not capable of doing night game, is actually someone we both referred to in the discussion. Rael you're referring to weird Rsd outliers, conditioned with asperger-like behaviors. And Minotaur would get drunk and do daygame at festivals, not the same thing. Plus he got his start in night game, you're talking apples and oranges.
Night game builds and hardens you because you've got to be more awesome than the flashing glitter, louder and more dominant than the thunderous music, and compete and overwhelm a number of factors that most guys simply aren't capable of handling. I'm not saying it's the only way, and there are plenty of night game boys that poop their pants during the say, but there are mega lessons to be taught thru night game.
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
Wait so sasha not only sticks solely to daygame, he's not capable of night game? I know you guys are buddies, he is definitely a solid guy with solid game but I think im going to have to take my sasha poster off the wall
I thought he just preferred daygame being in major cities and the sasha 'daygame' was just his angle. I watched one of his videos and the subway stop he mentions here has consistenly amazingly hot girls, probably the best area in the city. Its kinda far but once I was there on a thursday evening and it had more hot girlies than an average nightclub
I struggle with Day Game.
I find it interesting how day game is considered easier than night game.
Ask yourself why.
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
The whole ''being sucked into the enviroment, feeling lower value'' thing is such fucking gold.
I'm over not being able to game solo.
I win.
@Manwhore - I'll do night game the night i turn 20.
Why do approaches have to be such tension-bui8lders? You can make them easy. Also.. are you waiting for their reaction to feel good about it? Walk up and POUND them with positivity. Direct them into how to respond to you.
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
Double negative affirmations.. There is NO REASON why I can't approach cute girls during the day. There is NO REASON why they wouldn't want to talk to a cool, fun guy.
I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student
- Autismus Terminus Finis (Root Cause/Cure of Autism Epidemic)
- Called Off My Wedding & Other Turn Tail Signs Of The American Male
Double negative affirmations.. There is NO REASON why I can't approach cute girls during the day. There is NO REASON why they wouldn't want to talk to a cool, fun guy.
It's hard to drop yourself into a hectic enviroment and socialize with people when you're not even supposed to (Karl Johans gate at 4pm = night club)
What i do now is instead of looking at the enviroment as a whole and telling myself ''it's ok bruh, don't be a pussy, forget about everyone else durr durr'' i just pick out ''targets'' and see only them. I approach and after my first set i will just feel awesome and it won't matter.
It has has barely anything to do with me feeling like i'm not a cool guy girls want to talk to. It's just an inner voice telling me ''No here and not now, you're cool, but you're not the coolest guy here''
There's a whole bunch of idiot thinking going on in this thread.
First off by thinking going out solo is difficult, or the night game / day game thing, then you're creating that reality for yourself and putting up barriers for yourself.
Ice had the best insight so far - you've basically got to shift your perspective.
If you guys weren't focused on the difficulties or the fact that 'you're out solo', then it wouldn't even be an issue.
Change your thinking and focus on something else instead of the limiting factors.
If it helps, get a confidant that you can text or call and speak to on the phone while you're out. That will give you the same feeling as having a wing or friends to fall back on. (I know a guy who runs a big company, he calls up business partners and talks bullshit when he's not feeling the social vibe - it can help.)
Or just change the dynamic completely, you're there for something else - there's an event going on and that's the reason you're there, or there's something important after this and you're just killing time real quick. The fact that there's downtime gives you an opportunity to hit up girls and sets, just as something secondary to do. This will also give an added benefit when you're pulling girls, there will be the feeling of there's something else more important - so she'll work harder to keep you around instead of going off to your main objective.
Anything other than this focus on what you don't want bullshit and complaining about it, rationalizing it. When you do this, you're creating negative mental rehearsals in your head... then you go and live it out in reality. Stop 'trying' to push though and overcome the limitations, instead shift the dynamic and make it easy for yourself.
MW got this right on the affirmations. Here is the main mindset issue being discussed: YOU DON'T 'TRY' AND GET AWAY FROM WHAT YOU DON'T WANT IN LIFE - YOU FOCUS TOWARDS A DESIRABLE SITUATION/OUTCOME and work towards that.
When going out solo I find the key to having a good sessions is to approach or at least be social as soon as possible. Don't wait 15 minutes for your first set.. On the way to the mall, open. As soon as you get downtown, open. Since you're by yourself you can't just talk shit with your homies between sets; instead, you're gonna have to make everyone your homie. Old person on the bench, cashier, bus driver. Say "good morning" to em as you pas by. Even something as simple as that can get your momentum going.
Also, stop being picky about who you open. The pickier you are, the more excuses you're going to be able to make about why you can't approach. If you see a chick in your age range just say hi, you don't have to have sex with everyone you talk to.
This is NEWBIE shit. When you're in the situation you're in now, you're gonna have to go back to basics and follow the steps that helped you in the first place. Stop thinking you're above the process.
It's hard to drop yourself into a hectic enviroment and socialize with people when you're not even supposed to (Karl Johans gate at 4pm = night club)
I know Sasha extremely well. He's not capable of doing night game, is actually someone we both referred to in the discussion. Rael you're referring to weird Rsd outliers, conditioned with asperger-like behaviors. And Minotaur would get drunk and do daygame at festivals, not the same thing. Plus he got his start in night game, you're talking apples and oranges.Night game builds and hardens you because you've got to be more awesome than the flashing glitter, louder and more dominant than the thunderous music, and compete and overwhelm a number of factors that most guys simply aren't capable of handling. I'm not saying it's the only way, and there are plenty of night game boys that poop their pants during the say, but there are mega lessons to be taught thru night game.
Yeah cold approach night game is fucking tough. It hardens you the fuck up and teaches you to think on your feet.
I went to my buddys frat party tonight..... it was soooo fucking easy compared to night game.
Grabbed like 3 numbers at the party and then on 1 on the bus home.
Made out with 2 cute girls, 1 who was a virgin, the 2nd i got her upstairs to the bathroom door but she wouldn't walk in(I think I hesitated a tiny bit at the last second because I knew I wasn't supposed to up be there, they literally forced me to bring my frat friend up when I had to take a shit up there earlier in the night to accompy me).
Had another asian chick who was pretty down but I lost her somewhere... something about her checking in with her sorority sisters and I wandered off.
Night game on the other hand is wayyy more difficult.
Seriously if you do night game at get decent at it, daygame and social circle game are much easier.
spagheddy wrote:
It's hard to drop yourself into a hectic enviroment and socialize with people when you're not even supposed to (Karl Johans gate at 4pm = night club)Dude this made me laugh. Who says you're not supposed to? Who's gonna stop you? Who cares? I sat down in the cafe with this girl the other day and started chatting her up, 5 minutes later her boyfriend comes along and sits down next to me. Lol! Guy is like "So how do you know her", I'm like "oh actually I just started talking to her, are you from X too", I chatted to both of them for a bit and the guy seemed to be more ruffled than I was (not much really). Big deal. But no-one even cares dude they're too stuck in their heads. Whenever some crazy shit is going on I always make a point of looking round to see who's watching and it's always the same, no-one has even noticed what's happening lol. You're the one who's awake.
Read my fucking post before you go RSDTyler on this shit.
SultryGorilla wrote:
spagheddy wrote:
It's hard to drop yourself into a hectic enviroment and socialize with people when you're not even supposed to (Karl Johans gate at 4pm = night club)Dude this made me laugh. Who says you're not supposed to? Who's gonna stop you? Who cares? I sat down in the cafe with this girl the other day and started chatting her up, 5 minutes later her boyfriend comes along and sits down next to me. Lol! Guy is like "So how do you know her", I'm like "oh actually I just started talking to her, are you from X too", I chatted to both of them for a bit and the guy seemed to be more ruffled than I was (not much really). Big deal. But no-one even cares dude they're too stuck in their heads. Whenever some crazy shit is going on I always make a point of looking round to see who's watching and it's always the same, no-one has even noticed what's happening lol. You're the one who's awake.
Read my fucking post before you go RSDTyler on this shit.
Yo I wasn't hating just sharing my own experiences, cool stuff if it's not a problem for you. Though the rest of the thread suggests the opposite that's what I was referring to! Lol
Haha its not bullshit at all. It's simply life telling you you got some emotional challenges to fave up to. I was with my 70 year old mentor yesterday day gaming, he consistently picks up on girls when "solo" because he never sees it like that. He simply knows his value and what he is looking for and that's it. Doesn't matter AT ALL what the venue is. He sees things for wat they are.