Skip to Content
-->

Great dates that were so close but never materialized. What to learn

4 replies [Last post]
Offline
Joined: 07/29/2018

 

 

So this is something that happens to me ever so often but in different types of circumstances. This one in particular is a bit strange so maybe you guys ran into this before and have some input.

 

So an online dating date. Girl was very responsive before we initiated the meetup via text. Date 1 started off really well, the vibe was great we had drinks and laughing she was pretty engaged. She also looked pretty awesome in person than her pics. She mentioned to me that I looked different but cuter in real life so I think I should get a photographer but thats for another thread.

 

Anyway I pull her to another venue where they play cuban / latin music. Its a very sexual vibe there so we are instantly making out. I would say Im a pretty good dancer so we stayed for an hour or two and she was impressed having fun making out. We were probably the centerpiece of the vibes of the dance-floor.  We head out and I try to get her back to my place telling her I have wine my grandfother made. Shes hot and bothered but smiles and makes a joke that we came up with from the first venue. She refuses the first attempt. Instead of making the night end there I take her to another place. We chill there and have some more awesome convo in the outside areas, she tells me what a great night shes having, go in and dance a little more, makeout, etc. Shes riding me pretty hard by this point on the dance floor and I am completely filled with precum. I lead her out and I forget if I mention to come back again but tell her she can get an uber by my place since its on her way home way. She says its fine. Tells me she had really fun several times, I push her against an inner doorway as we wait for her cab that she called, Im pretty horny at this point, she was wearing some top but without a bra so I lift it in the dark and start squeezing her nipples. Her breasts are a perfect big size. She likes it but then pulls it down smiling saying not here. I offer again to ride with me first saying “listen no pressure you dun have to come in or anything.. bla bla” just playing it as it was just to save her money and get her closer to home (Im not sure if this was wrong or whatever, as Im still not the greatest at final mile, but I had asked her to come back already once and didnt wanna push the issue too hard. This was push pull from me so I just read it as her not being ready. Im going to make another post soon about this)

 

Anyway this is sort of where it gets weird. Now the next day she was responsive and we were talking but after that very very vague and difficult to reach. One word responses, there was definitely a distance a couple days later. Sometimes no text back at all. Now I still need to work on texting but being that this interaction was already solidified there didn’t seem any reason to really have to “game” so hard at this point, since I did fairly well on the date. 

 

Im also not sure about my strategy with communication. I usually try to talk to a girl here and there (after and before meetups) to keep her warmed up via text. Im not sure if this is correct or not or if there is any need for me to keep speaking until next meetup. In my mind I feel maybe its disrespectful to just go full silent till next meetup or maybe its fear she will go away. Still reading the membership material so maybe Ill gain some light there on this issue, but any insights here would be cool.

 

Anyway I was actually surprised when I sent her a text asking to to go out again that she responded and accepted. We went out to a new spot and ate somewhere. At one point I fucked up and got confused about where she lived in reference to another girl, lol and she laughed and called me out on it. Personally, I dont think this was an issue but maybe it could have been. We eat and go to a rooftop dance club and I have her really laughing pretty hard to the point people are looking at us. Had a joke that I wanted to be a gynochol when I was younger and was real into female sexuality. Topic of discussion is sex based, talk about toys and shit and stuff I may have I don’t tell her just hint I game with this stuff. I have a swing :) . We go back downstairs to dance and its much like the first date, very sexual, and at one point she told me “I want to see your gynocology skills one day”. So this is a que to me so dance like couple minutes more tell her lets go and lead her outside. Now again, Im still learning here but I get outside holding her hand and at this point I feel like sex is pretty immanent. I was going to call an uber but noticed there are a lot of yellow cabs about 25-30 feet away. Ok a little backstory, before the second date she told me she couldn’t stay out late and had to be up very early for a meeting. I reach out for a taxi and she starts to call an uber. So our bodies are pretty close again and I smile and whisper in like a pretty sexual way “cancel your cab” I smile and tell her to come back with me. Go in for makeout again. She was like “if I come we wont sleep at all” Anyway, I try one more time if I can remember and probably said. “cmon cancel the cab” while smiling. She then mentions how different we are and says you are so European. We are pretty different culturally, even the way we talk is pretty different. Im not sure if this was a mental resistance thing for her and I didnt think anything of it at the time but thought it was worth mentioning. 

 

Anyway, last couple of years my strategy in situations like this, when I know sex is close, I never pushed it too too much because it would work in my favor in most cases if I wait for next meetup. Looking back Im thinking maybe it would have been better to not do anything but call an uber as soon as I got out of the club. To me I dont think this minute detail should really matter so looking for input here. Maybe walking to the corner where the cabs were got her thinking too much. Or maybe she felt that I was not congruent at this moment. Dunno

 

Now, morning after was much like the first date. Responsive. I sent her a funny meme of a gynecologist later in the evening. My good friend thought it was a mistake but I thought it was funny as hell. Anyway still not responsive after that. We have light communication over the week. She’d respond three hours later, sometimes a day and sometimes not at all. Like I couldn’t even get rapport going. There was one instance when I had free tickets to a show and called her to come, it was super last minute. She was naked in bed and there was a little flirtation back and forth. I tried to get there with no luck. 

 

My texts used several different methods like references to our dates and other things. Personally this felt very strange to me. Being that our meetups were so positive I found it weird that she was so crappy with the communication. I asked her out the next thursday for a friday meetup. She said she had a birthday. I told her kool have fun. I texted her two days later and at this point Im just so out of ideas. Again still working on text but I sent a “hey chica, how was your weekend” with no response

 

This was four days ago, so need some help here. This feels really awkward and a shame for all that attraction and tension to not materialize. Now, the way I look at it is that many girls have several several guys they are speaking to or x boyfriends whatever. This could just be a numbers game but cant help that theres somethig wrong here. Haven’t had sex in a bit and was excited to sex this girl but maybe I was throwing some needy vibes her way. Maybe we got too sexual too quick. Maybe she thinks Im a player? Maybe a dweeb. Im so fucking confused lol

 

Sorry for making this so long winded, will try to keep these as short as possible but feel theres alot to be learned in the different aspects above. 

 

Can I do anything to reclaim glory here or should I just leave it alone?

 

 

 

Offline
Joined: 01/18/2012
So that first little foray

So that first little foray sounds like a typical "player" scenario. Probably about as good as most naturals will ever get, you see opportunities and you're familiar with a woman's body, but your timing and rhythm I'd still consider to be pretty chode. And zero idea how to create or spawn momentum, buildup, etc. on your own without any crutches. Clearly better off than Superb the "shitty natural", but still not an actual seducer. 

You want to stop using any crutches. Women know them, they do not like them. Do not use "salsa" as a means of escalating on a woman. No masks, no sleight of hand, no "slickness". Women may even remark on it, but you don't talk about it in those terms. 

Plus your way of handling logistics is crap. In fact so bad that you probably owe more to this than anything else. 

Both of the above points are covered very well in the membership material. Though the physical stuff not till Month 4 I believe, but the logistical stuff you'll start getting a better sense of pretty soon I think. Lots of content on that in there from several different angles. 

And then yeah just pouring on the sexualized convos with women is bound to get you nixxed. I rarely talk overtly about sex beforehand with women. I create a ton of sexual tension, I may even make some STRONG hints, but if you start being overt about it it takes out a lot of the mystery and intrigue of it for women. Kinda like finding out the girl you're on a date with is still fucking her ex. You can deal with it, but it certainly takes some of the allure away. Plus you need to have the right emotional backdrop, and you don't seem to have much. Which is the problem with the whole "player" syndrome.. they don't know how to share about themselves or lead the conversation emotionally. So they're stuck sorta spinning their wheels all the time just trying to take the conversation sexual and start touching her. It's a dead giveaweay. 

Texting 

Yes you want to keep conversations going. If your texting is at the level I'm seeing described, you should really just start crafting little stories and plotlines into your texting with her. It's hilarious, and spawns so much good stuff. Take a look at "Silly & Sincere" as well as the other texting styles in the membership area. 

__________________

I go in and I'm crisp, clean and my vocals are fucking coming out like music. - Anonymous MW student

Have you read the "Best Of MW's Forum" threads on Verbal Seduction, Physical Escalation & Sexual Mastery? Begin your education: Best of Manwhore.org/forum:

The ONLY Real "Drills-Based" Seduction Training:
Tap Or Click For More Information

Offline
Joined: 06/02/2018
Ared you the valentino got

Ared you the valentino got invited to work at a alphabetical company in this field, but rejected it and started your own youtube channel?

__________________

Breath technique is no different from fidgeting.

Making a voice, not a sound.

Offline
Joined: 07/29/2018
Hey MW, thanks for the

Hey MW, thanks for the explanation there. A lot of what you are saying above makes good sense to me. Thinking about it, I know that in alot of my dates I can probably start making out with them earlier. Consiously I know that the dance floor makes it much easier for me since you get sexual there and I can see that as being an actual crutch. You shouldn't need that to move foward, it should just be supplemental. Using the wine as bait was probably another one. There are probably others I have that I can't really put into words just yet. Many times its a mixture of me not knowing what to say and being too passive about moving foward, which would if done seductively would eventually segue someone back to want to engage into a great sexual encounter with me.

I actually ended up calling this girl and it seems she deleted my phone number because she didn't know who it was. It was a strange convo as she said she was in Toronto and sounded like she wanted to get off the phone as fast as possible. I texted her after just as a last resort thing telling her to have fun and about a gig I have coming up pretty soon in bk. She texed back something like "exciting sound like fun" or something. At this point I'm leaving this one as is. In retrospect there could be another guy but it could also be that my window just closed. I felt like I was close but I didn't flow it as great as I could have. Texting was bad and maybe some of the connection points when we were hanging out.

Yea on the talking about sex thing, I figured that might be going too far at times. I'm also thinking that talking about sex can also put you into this wierd place where she now is friends with you on a level that isn't sexual. It's funny because I went on another date this past week that I may post about (will probably start reading more of your membership content before I do as it seems there are probably things on there I can learn from before posting here). For some reason this new girl we were talking about relationships and that my past one was just good sex and didnt mean anything and that sex isn't everything. This girl started asking me alot of questions about it like "why was it good, what did she do, how long I last" etc. I thought it was wierd and eventually told her it was too with a smile that we should chill and didn't wanna get too personal. Not sure if this was because she was a bit immature, inexperienced or whatever.

Logistics and texting will definitely be on my list of things to read about.

Just wanted to note that regarding the membership area: (I was having some issues accessing some content. I'll send you a pm of whats happening. Not sure if its a bug or something I am doing wrong.)

Offline
Joined: 07/29/2018
wujizimin wrote: Ared you the

wujizimin wrote:
Ared you the valentino got invited to work at a alphabetical company in this field, but rejected it and started your own youtube channel?

Nah I just picked the name because I thought it was cool