here's my last few convos. what can improve?
i would be super thankful if you guys could comment on my last few texting convos, and give advice on what should i change or add to it. i've been getting decent results with it lately, getting girls to meet me, and fucking some of them. but i am aware that there's still so much to learn. also i only post excerpts because i feel that no one would read the whole thing.
what i see retrospectively is that i should be trying to invite girls out sooner. i usually get my numbers during the day, and talk to the girl for five to ten minutes so i try to get some connection first... but i should be pushing the boundaries more to see what's possibe.
me: i hope that introverts don't have to do some sort of ritual sacrifice after meeting someone new ;b
her: :D we usually do voodoo... but i didn't manage to steal your hair
me: i was wondering why my leg jerks on the way home
her: ;d that wasn't me
me: too late, you already gave yourself away
me: and we slap girls over the ass but i forgot to steal your butt
her: :D thank god...
her: there was more than enough touching for one meeting.. :d (i met her during daygame, and when i was taking her number she's like: 'you didn't ask my name before', so i ask, give her my hand and kiss her on the cheeks... she's kinda like: 'noo' but i repeat it when im saying my goodbye)
me: i am a gentleman. i'd gently kneel and...
me: ask it for its hand
her: :D ;d great
me: btw it looks like a scene from mad max outside. make sure not to get into some sort of postapocalyptic storm on your way to XYZ so you won't end up in primordial ages
her: :D i am not afraid of that
me: wait until you start texting me while a raptor is chasing you
her: if a raptor was chasing me, i wouldn't text you
me: you just hurt my feelings
her: :D you know what? i don't care
... i decide to let the convo breathe at this point as she didn't deserve a response to that text
me: I am afraid that i am not enough of a complicated case but as a psychologist you'll definitely find something pathological (she studies psychology, and fell for a few damaged guys)
her: you can find something in everyone so you're definitely not going to be an exception :) and i just realized what did you do in neighbourhood xzy? do you live there? :)
me: if i was freud, i'd study your aversion to pink. i'd probably find some sexual deviation)
her: i don't think that freud was too concerned with aversion to pink :D but you nicely diverted topic from mine to yours
me: maybe you'd find out something scary :P
me: yeah i live in lovely xyz. you?
her: i know my psyche all too well and trust me...it's scary :D and yeah i live just on the corner of ***
me: of course it's scary, you're a girl ;] well we can go feed some ducks, but i'll be slapping you over the ass
her: mine is more scary ;P and you mean the ducks that aren't to be seen here? :D you'd have to end up with just slapping me over the ass, and i don't think my bf would like that...
me: what are you talking about? i saw a duck there few days ago (i decided to completely ignore that boyfriend bit...also it later turned out that she is indeed completely bonkers but i fucked her a couple of times)
... some more fluff goes on and then she agrees to meet up, and i fuck her within three hours.
me: you might come back as a gangster if you get lost in new york, and walk into some ghetto (she told me she's planning to go to NYC in december)
her: do i look that way? :D
me: you look like satan's child who tortures puppies in free time ;b
- no response -
me: you never write, never call, and our children want to know when their mummy's coming back. what should i tell them? (three days later)
her: you really made me laugh yesterday!! when i saw the message on my display i was trying to figure out what is it supposed to mean.. for about five minutes. and then i realized it's from you :D good morning (next day)
me: then you a) have some additional families i don't know about or b) try to change the topic as a irresponsible mother ;)
her: i didn't tell you about those kids?! :O and how many kids do you have? and wives... :D
me: five... all with you, and they are quite annoying. i foresee a divorce. you'll take the kids, i'll keep the house and the car
- no response -
me: jeezus, i spend a year teaching my hairdresser how to do my haircut, and she gets pregnant) (two days later)
her: well the question is if it's not yours...
me: they tell me that i am awesome but i have yet to learn to impregnate in dreams. or...?
her: i thought about what am i missing the last few days and it's probably your texts.. :D (a week later)
me: (//i totally wanted to start the response with "or sex" but she was responding sporadically and i was afraid that it might kill the convo) well it has been scientifically proven that my texts are addictive, and because of that i had to go to the court twice already
me: it's $2.99 per text. you already owe me some
- no response-
me: buying food online is the best thing ever. no idea how our society managed to live without it for centuries (two days later)
her: :D what did you buy? buns?
me: you forgot sausages, ketchup, and chinese soups! what are you up to?
her: yeah chinese soups are my favorite. i am having a lunch, and then im going home for the weekend :)) how about you?
me: maybe i'll cook you one if you behave yourself ;)
... i was waiting with invitation to go out because she usually sends one or two texts, and then stops responding. eventually i sent her that clinton picture with: "on the scale of north korea to america, how free are you this weekend?" and i should be meeting her soon
thanks a lot. could you give me some examples of that "you're going to get fucked" intent? perhaps stuff you used or stuff i could have used in those particular convos.