Gawd damn it's been a busy ass 3 months since I last contributed anything to the forum.
Honestly though, MW.org is basically a perma-tab in chrome, I lurk like a motherfucker. My contributions are few and far between and I know it. But I love that I can draw inspiration/knowledge from all of you. I'll give back soon, I'm on it.
I felt like I needed to post though, because whether I like the advice at the moment or not- whether it's MW cutting straight to the bone of the issue or whosoever throwing some knowledge my way- I'm always given new perspective when I do. And it's almost always actionable.
So here's the scope: I've been noticing some patterns emerging in my game... both positive and negative... now that I've finally got my monkey brain understanding the concept of actually pulling the trigger. There's one pattern in particular that I'd really like to get a handle on. I'll use the most recent girl as context, since it's basically similar (if not identical) shit happening each time.
No idea whether the tinder convo is relevant, so I skipped it.
To sum it up, I leave her my number on tinder because I had to switch the phone off at work, we'd been vibing and I'd asked prior, so it was a solid call- She texts me:
Her: Hey. It's *name*
Her: Chat soon x
The next day I'm at work, about an hour before quitting time. We text it up.
Me: Gawd, I'm just about ready to sprint out of the office doors. Ey, how're you doing ?
Her: Im good. Just got back home. Boring lectures today
Me: Ha, passionate student you are
Me: I know the feeling
Me: Home sounds like a sweet deal. Where's home for you
Me: Hahah, the loveable gay guy of the office lives in the *yazoo*
Me: He's in love with it
Her: It's all gray. Concrete everywhere
Me: Bit like marmite. Not for the faint of heart
Me: Haha, lady, London is grey.
Me: Until you see it at night.
Her: Then it's blue an orange
Her: Especially near around the Thames
Me: Exactly. I love the night's in London. Different city.
Me: Not bad on a sunny day either
Her: Every city it's different. But I agree with u. London is at its best at night
Her: I'm front of my uni we have some pavement fountains (dunno how to call them). In the sunny days families with kids and dogs come there to play
Her: and it's in front of the canal. Nice :)
Me: Haha, you are definitely a little people watcher.
Me: Bet you invent stories for them, too
Her: It's part of my work watching people
Her: More than inventing stories I invent movies for them.
Me: Do you carry a little pocket book, write down your observations?
Me: Or is it all kept in that vault on top of your neck
Her: I have a notebook
Her: Sometimes I write on my hands or in the phone notes
Me: Picturing you scribbling a storyboard on your arm.
Me: Very cool, I like that.
Her: Haha. My hands r mostly for little notes. Or drawings when I'm bored. They never last long cos I wash my hands. Obviously
Me: Ha, take photos, I'd definitely spend some time: looking at a gallery of skin scribbles.
Her: Do u draw? U r an architect right?
Me: Yep, I was drawing WAY before I was ever an architect
Me: I never draw architecture outside work. I've always been more into illustration
Her: That's cool. Like doodles?
Her: When I was younger I was quite into illustrations
Me: Yeah, straight from the vault usually
Me: Hah, yeah, as a kid I wanted to animate
Me: What're you up to this evening, Monday's one of the few days of the week I get a free night
(Yeah, I train on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Sundays. I run bar game most Fridays and Saturdays if I don't have a date or something lined up. Not banging the FB any more, but Mondays were generally the day I'd be with her til about a month back.)
Her: Don't have plans yet
Her: I have to see a friend in about 1 hr then I'm free
Me: Sweet, let's go grab a drink at like 8. There WILL be doodling.
Her: Ok. Where?
Me: There's a cool little place a bus ride from *xy* called BAR.
Her: Can we do 8.30 at *xy*? I don't think I can make it earlier
Me: No worries that's perfect
Her: Is it like a posh place? I'm not scruffy but I'm not posh
Me: Lol, no.
Me: Wear somethin cute so we match- but wrap your ass up cause it'll be freezing out.
Her: Lol ook :) see u soon
Me: See you then ;)
Her: Im at the station
Me: Cool, I'm across the road. 10secs.
So we meet up at the station, chat, vibe. I drag her to this cool little bar with walls you can scribble all over. She's a chill girl, I'm being lax and reserved- because that's where my energy levels are during the winter. Felt I'd been very gamey on a couple prior nights out, so I dialled it back. Kept the physicality and sexual tension going. The place also has table tennis, so I take her out to the tables- realize there're no paddles and tell her she needs to go ask for some. Eye contact, then we kiss- and I escalate. Pin her against the table, yadda yadda.
The escalation ramps up quickly, I pull her around the corner real quick for a little more privacy.
I'll skip all the details. Long story short, we got hot and I pull my dick out. Pull her out to another spot (some little empty square, very open and public though- not the best sex location by any standards- but we were in a bubble and I wasn't thinking at this point) and finger her then fuck her (awkwardly, fuck skinny jeans.)
Sent her this the next day to dead air:
Me: You're a sweet girl with a real chill vibe. Enjoyed you yesterday girl
Me: Gawd you left me with a heavy case of blue balls once I got home though woman
I'd had reservations about sending these texts for whatever reason, but I've been ignoring self-talk recently, so I just sent it anyway. Figured it was authentic, so fuck it. Bad text- lil accusatory. But I know it couldn't be just that.
I've asked a couple guys about this. The consensus is that 'the girls you want to keep around, you don't necessarily bang on the first date- and defo don't alleyway/bathroom/whatever pull. Of course, pulling back to your/her place and 'it just happens' is a different situation'
I can see where they stand- and I'll try it, but I've always taken from Manwhore the idea that if you pull the trigger and push it to the letter, the girl is generally happier for it. She wants someone to take the reigns and let her sexually express herself. But if you do go with that, you've got to follow it through or she'll resent it. I need to sort out my logistical nightmare (I also tend to switch off and act on impulse when I sexually get to a certain point. Possibly need to be more conscious.).
I also remember reading something about Rogan (mini)pillow-talking over the phone to quell the reservations of a chick after a quick lay. I dunno. I'll try that on the next one.
Of course there's also- take her to a house with a bed. Yeah. I'll get the logistics sorted.
So to sum up, pattern basically goes:
Meet the chick
Vibe - Escalate
Bang the chick, usually outdoors
Chill post-lay for a bit
Text to dead air the next day (maybe I'll text the same day as well the next one, worth a try.)