How do you select which beggars to give money to and which not?

I generally give what I can. But there are times when I can tell that Im just getting played. I dont give those people anything. So who do I give to and who do I say hell no to?

• Lightly ragged men, these are the ones most likely to get my change. If they have a funny sign, sorry, no cash, but you want a cigarette? if their sign appears to be as minimal as possible, like it just says help, they get extra. This may seem backward to most people, but those of you who have always worked a 9 to 5 and never had to worry about losing everything and hitting the street never learned how shitty it is for some people. You see this guy and turn your nose up saying he needs to get a job. Why dont you offer him one? Oh, he wouldnt fit into your company culture. Cant hire a guy with bad credit? Your employees need a valid credit card? You only hire people with a residential address? Shit, looks like the guy you and everyone else refuse to help cant actually get a job. Thanks guys. But what about the funny sign? it was funny right? Hes faking knowing the funny sign gets him 600 dollars a day. He makes more than you and hes still on the street.  
• Almost dead drunk man, no sign, this guy doesnt get money, but I will buy him a box of wine and some rollies. He may just freeze to death tonight. I want him to be comfortable when he gets released. When you hand this guy a box of wine, look in his eyes. If you have a soul you will understand.
• Early twenties woman whos ex hit her according to her sign. Bitch gets nothing from me. A real domestic violence victim wont be on the street. She would be in a shelter or somewhere. A real victim never hits the street. This woman with a sign is robbing you guys blind. This is her dayjob, it makes almost as much as her night job, no commute between the two. All her money is taken from her quickly. If she tries to hide a couple dollars from you, her pimp will beat her ass for robbing him. That money is his. Dont waste your money on her because it wont go to her. Dont offer help because you will be robbed and your house will be cleaned out.
• Young kids in a group, tryin to rock the slummin threads. Dont these kids seem a little cleaner than the others? like they had a shower today and their clothes are new and clean? Thats because they live n the suburbs. Mom and Dad bought it all for them and they just want to tell a ghetto story to the other kids in the prep school. I am actually more inclined to rob these little trolls. I would give them a real ghetto story.
• Veteran with one arm. This guy stole mother superiors idea. He had an abscess in his arm from using a dirty needle, gangrene is an evil bastard and they had to take the arm. Then he couldnt steal cars anymore. But his buddy had some camo. Just need a sign. No one really asks about his unit. So ask about his unit. See where that one gets you. EDIT: this isn't implying that homeless veterans don't exist, they do. There are so many homeless vets that it has become a scam that an addicted amputee can successfully play. I have no respect for anyone who would inpersonate a veteran because it causes people to be suspicious of the real homeless vets. That's why I say to ask about his unit. A real vet will be able to answer instantly and have a few stories to tell you. He will be able to name his drill Sargent and you won't be able to get away because his stories will hold your attention. This guy deserves the money. The addict playing a scam will reply with some snide remark and become angry that you called him out. He will never answer the question and he will make you appear to be an ass for questioning his fraud.

I am pretty harsh huh? 

• Musicians, I almost forgot., Always get my money. They get my attention too. I am happy to listen to a couple songs and talk to the guy some too. Extra money for playing something like a tin whistle or an oboe or cello. Brass gets bills, wind gets coin.