How far would you go with a drunken girl?
How far would you go with a drunken girl?
Where does abuse start and when do you think is it all right and just 'taking responsability' for both and making sure you both have a good time?
Long story short:
Met a pretty drunken girl in the club. Still pulled her with the plan of not sleeping with her that night. ( I found out it was her first time she tried cocaine that day ). We went to another bar, she was pretty wrecked on the way, but basically we did a little walk till she sobered up.
Back at her place (she was already better), one thing led to another and my dick took control of my brain. We had sex and it was great. She was a 26yo, pretty hot real estate agent, so actually one of the hottest girls I have ever slept with.
I beat myself down pretty hard, because I actually wanted to wait for the next day, till she could take a more 'informed' decision. Kind of sounds gay, I know lol.
So she didnt text back at first, then I wrote a more lenghty message and she just told me she really enjoyed the night, but her childhood friend surprised her and they are together now. I believe her and I dont really care about that dude.
Thing is, it just struck me that she really enjoyed the night.
Actually after we had sex, I could have slept with her again, but I didnt let myself because it was against my 'plan' of waiting till the next morning. It sounds pretty ridiculous now...
So in my case I think I should definitely have fucked her and let loose. At that point she was sober enough to make it really fun and respectful. I think it was partly a fear of leading maybe, I dont know exactly. Now, one month later, it just sounds pretty ridiculous and like I overthought it way too much in the moment.
You're leaving a lot of pertinent details out. How exactly did sex go down? Did she jump in your lap or start taking her clothes off?
I imagine I'm going to cringe when I read your "more lengthy" message to her. Ugh
Yes it sounds REALLY weird that you would make decisions based on your "plan of waiting till next morning" at that point. Not a good move. You were expressing regret basically. Not the direction you want to lead at that point. Man to man I judge you for that one. You do not do that to a woman
"Still pulled her with the plan of not sleeping with her that night." What kind of incongruent nonsense is this!? You need to seriously examine why you are pulling girls to begin with. HINT: it's not so you can take them home to cuddle. Futhermore, if you actually thought she was too fucked up then why would you go ahead and pull her anyway? That's like paying a hooker with STDs to come over without the intention of sleeping with them. You're playing with fire bub.
If she's past the point of no return, unconcious or unable to walk or talk then it's obviously off. Don't even think about pulling. If she's still functional and coherent then drunk girls need lovin too. In fact, a lot of them get drunk so they can excuse their promiscuous behavior.
You're going out to get laid and probably drinking alcohol yourself and then you're turning around and acting like drinking/drugs and sex is bad. "At that point she was sober enough to make it really fun and respectful." Then you wonder why she chose to go to her imaginary childhood friend instead.
I cut girls off regularly, you sorta have to control their alcohol intake sometimes. I had a girl the other night tell me she wanted 10 more drinks before she'd feel "comfortable". I told her hell no. If a woman's too sloshed you put her ass to bed. If she wants to fuck you in the morning she will or if you want to start things back up with her then go for it. Lots of girls really like the fact you suspend any action and tell them to crash. But have I had drunken hookups? Absolutely, no regrets. You showed fear when she was at her most vulnerable. What.. you expecting mommy to come in and save you? It is your job to hold it down. You didn't. Your failure was her victimization.
ok thanks guys.
@manwhore: the escalation was me inviting myself in, chilling in her appartment for a bit and drinking a glass of water and then going to her bedroom. She didn't put away her clothes but was very active in the process. I mean, seriously, she was ready...
Honestly I never doubted how that went down. I know you personally and I didn't have a question about that. It was the part after. Be strong, always
Oh and yeah, dare ye send me that "lengthy" text you sent her? Or will I cringe mightily indeed?
'Hey Amber, Yorick here. So I don't know why I eaxactly write you, this might be pathetic or this might be strong, whatever. I tohught a bit about you lately, you are the kind of girl I want to have in my life, good nutrition, interesting/smart personality topped with good estethics and style of fashion. Lol don't feel too faltteres but you should. So I know that I wam weak and you saw a weak version of myself. I wouldnt meet/date a guy who cant control his dick neither. It was my responsability to take control of the situation and make the best of it for both of us. Meaning not takeing advantage of your drunkness and send you on a guilt trip the next day. ( I think you felt guilty because you lost control and things happened. Emphasis on 'lost control'). I did lol.Whatever, whatever happened hapened. It was not my goal though. I sincerly wanted to wait for the next morning and take a more 'informed'decision. But I fucked up, my balls overtook m and I failed. I do know why I write you now. Guess I wanted to spill a few things out and this comes from a place of strength. So goal achieved. Do you want to meet up sometime> Doesnt have to be a date, can be all friendly and stuff.Don't know if I would even respond to this lol. That said, merry christmas and happy new year. '
Ok no excuses for that one. slash it boys -.-'
Its fucked, I see how pathetic this is now and how you would rather speak to your mother like that than to a girl. This is weak and boyish and girls dont like like weak boys. Funnily enough early on with the MW coaching, we saw that a big sticking point is being too emotional. Too much 'floating in the wind' and not enough self-sontrol. Guess I fell of that horse again. I need to be more ruthless with my emotions. Thank you MW.
Yes correct. Fuck that shit you wrote. You BE about it you don't write a letter about it.
yeah you are right on that. took me some time to see that something was foul with what I did and the way I thought. At that point I kind of judged her behaviour ( of a girl who just wants to have fun ), so it is as you say a victimization. I saw her again yesterday, in the city center from further away and she is actually a pretty stern woman. She looked pretty serious. Feminine but serious. She told me as well that it was only her 2nd one night stand and she was in a (booring) relationship beforehand. So for her, this was actually one episode to discover her 'badder' self. So I did exactly the opposite of what I should have, basically embracing her fun/promiscious side and letting her feel good about it. I think it played a role as well that she felt bad about it and that I fell in her frame.
But hey long talk, point taken. Back on the horse.
haha I like that!